CRACKED ROUND-UP: Crotch Rot Awareness Edition

It doesn't get much media attention, but crotch rot is the third leading cause of de-crotchment among males age 18-35. You can help fight the spread of crotch rot by blow-drying a crotch near you today. Don't ask permission. Just get on up in there. They'll thank you later.

Soren Bowie is moulding the minds of tomorrow. You can decide if that's a good thing or a bad thing after reading these letters from his students. Chris Bucholz followed up with some investigative journalism inside the company responsible for that obnoxious "Friday" video. Brockway threw one out for the working man with his article on candid photos of badass protestors. Are your testosterone levels running low? Have your testicles retreated up into your taint? Read Seanbaby's latest Man Comics and get them back! Dan O'Brien closed things up with his youngster-sobering article on things "they" never told you.

Continue Reading Below


The 9 Most Offensive 9/11 References in Pop Culture
What was tough was narrowing it down to only nine.

Notable Comment: "I don't know if it counts as a reference exactly, but the horrible, horrible SyFy movie "Disaster Zone: Volcano in New York" actually used stock footage of 9/11 for their special effects when the volcano broke through the ground. It was pretty horrible."

Continue Reading Below


That's not evil, skwerl, that's thrifty.

5 Useful Organizations You Think Are Evil Thanks To Movies
Maybe we could switch the pounds and insane asylums. Crazy people could be adopted by kindly old spinsters and dogs would get to wander around a big white room full of friendly people.
Continue Reading Below


Notable Comment: "The last time I saw a fast-food chain as the bad guy? Goodburger. Although, in the author's defense, the good guy was also a fast-food chain."

NoahJacoby, maybe you didn't get the memo. The entire civilized world has agreed to pretend Goodburger didn't happen.

The 5 Most Shocklingly Insane Modern Dictators
It's almost like power corrupts or something. Has anyone ever said that, guys? Did we come up with that? We're taking credit for it.

Notable Comment:"Pillboxes everywhere? Sounds like Hoxha was a fan of Command & Conquer: Red Alert."

Actually, McCrumley, we're pretty sure Hoxha helped inspire Red Alert. Especially the bits about time travel.

Continue Reading Below


5 Reasons Humanity is Terrible at Democracy
We're big supporters of anarchy here at Cracked. Specifically, the brand of anarchy based around hitting people with shovels when they have nicer cars than us.

Notable Comment:"Hmmm, good, but needs more dick jokes. "

Continue Reading Below


That's what they said about Spartacus, Superstar2559.

6 Brilliant Inventions That Look Like Gag Gifts
Seriously science, powdered water?

Notable Comment: "Helicopter ejection seats are awesome gag gifts. What is a gag gift?"

Don't pretend an ejection seat wouldn't be the best gag gift ever, PancakeTune. The look on their face would justify ay cost.

Continue Reading Below


If Movie Posters Were Honest
We're practically giving money away! Wait, not practically. Totally. We're totally giving away money to people, people with mediocre to decent Photoshop skills. People like you. Wouldn't you like to be a person like you? This week, you can be by entering our latest contests, If Every Movie Got Its Own Saturday Morning Cartoon Show and If Every Excuse Was Actually TRUE.

Funny photos. Funnier captions. Submitted by YOU. Voted on by the People. Think you're funnier than this week's winners? Contribute your own.


"Well, officer, as near as I could tell, the pot called the kettle black, then everyone took sides and all hell broke loose."
by jonnyt

Continue Reading Below


Editor's pick:

Total Canarchy
by metsfan


It's a work of art, but I can't tell from which period.
by Gurgeh

Editor's pick:

Continue Reading Below


A monument to coke mule Pedro Gonzalez, and his record breaking passage through Miami International Airport.
by Joey_09876


H-O-S-E. I asked for the fire HOSE.
by Rockout

Editor's pick:

The slightest mis-step could turn this Porno for Pyros into a Flaming Lips show.
by jonnyt


Because synchronized swimming is for pussies.
by Diasdiem

Editor's pick:

"Your move, Geico.
by jtklove


The Jameson distillery fire of 1986 might have taken the lives of 46 people, but those fighting the blaze made sure that not a single barrel of whiskey was lost.
by Mario!!!

Editor's pick:

It was official. Steve did not know how to deliver pizzas.
by Glorpinator


Those crazy gangsters and their turf wars.
by EdenSerrot

Editor's pick:

Some species of crabgrass are extremely aggressive and nearly impossible to stop.
by satanity


It was almost time for his second night in the museum...and Ben Stiller was ready.
by petermesmer

Editor's pick:

The Emperor's New Clothing Shop.
by Leaf

To turn on reply notifications, click here


Load Comments

More Articles

5 'Ugh' Trump Stories The News Totally Forgot About

We're so inundated with Trump news that we shrug off scandals that would tank any other president.


4 Crapsack Things That Are Still Legal In The USA

The year is 2020.


6 Obnoxious Tourist Scams From Around The Globe

Every tourist destination has scammers looking to separate the unwary from their money.


The Craziest Movie Easter Egg That Nobody Noticed

We thing this might just be the craziest, most elaborate Easter egg in movie history.


6 Soulless Companies That Own, Like, Everything

Here are some companies we're just sorta letting take over the world.


5 Historical Landmarks (That Are Total Frauds)

Some of the most historical sites in the world are just trying to compete with Disneyland.