Cracked Archive - News

Dutch Teen Who Rode on Blue Origin Flight Told Jeff Bezos He Never Ordered From Amazon

Authors: By Carly Tennes
Published: July 23, 2021
Comments: 11

Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene Laughs At Question Referencing Dead Children

Authors: By Carly Tennes
Published: July 22, 2021
Comments: 22

Facebook Doesn't Kill People, People and Deadly Viruses Kill People, President Biden Clarifies

Despite President Joe Biden's bold campaign promises of “no malarkey" throughout his 2020 campaign, it seems the American people can still have a little malarkey as a treat.

Authors: By Carly Tennes
Published: July 21, 2021
Comments: 18

No, The Tokyo Olympics Does Not Have 'Anti-Sex' Beds, Athletes, Reporters Say

Authors: By Carly Tennes
Published: July 19, 2021
Comments: 4

Sen. Lindsey Graham: 'I Will Go To War' For Chick-fil-A

“I want everyone in South Carolina and across America to know I have Chick fil-A’s back,” he wrote.

Authors: By Carly Tennes
Published: July 16, 2021
Comments: 32

Report: Trump-Branded 'Freedom Phone' May Actually Be Budget Device From Asia

Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring, a MAGA phone?

Authors: By Carly Tennes
Published: July 16, 2021
Comments: 27

Dogecoin's Co-Founder Says Crypto Is Like A Pyramid Scheme

Doge's co-creator doesn't feel "very wow" about the crypto he helped invent.

Authors: By Carly Tennes
Published: July 16, 2021
Comments: 4

Ding-Dong Central Shoehorns The Free Britney Movement Into Their Nonsense

The #FreeBritney movement has a whole host of wacky new "supporters."

Authors: By Carly Tennes
Published: July 15, 2021
Comments: 9

Australian Prime Minister Denies Pooping His Pants At McDonalds

Poop happens ... or does it?

Authors: By Carly Tennes
Published: July 15, 2021
Comments: 10

Microsoft Threatens To Bring Back Clippy

Our favorite aggressively altruistic anthropomorphic paperclip may soon rise from Microsoft's vast graveyard of defunct features to annoy us once again.

Authors: By Carly Tennes
Published: July 14, 2021
Comments: 8