13 Inscrutable Ledes Buried Among The Detritus Of Common Dispatches And Ill Tidings

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13 Inscrutable Ledes Buried Among The Detritus Of Common Dispatches And Ill Tidings

Welcome to the world of the weird and wonderful! From video games inspiring riots to tiny handbags selling for thousands of dollars, it's been a wild ride. We've seen people trying to turn cow manure into green energy, Taylor Swift erasing history in Nashville, and a teacher in Italy who hasn't shown up to work in two decades. From cow-napping to tanks that don't quite make the grade, these thirteen stories are sure to make you laugh out loud. 

This list of 13 news stories will take you on a journey through the craziest events of the past year. We've got cow-napping, quack-tastic arrests, and tanks that just weren't up to the task. We've even got an airline executive who said sorry, not sorry for taking a private flight at the same time they were canceling thousands of flights for customers. 

So, sit back, relax, and prepare to be amazed. This list of news stories is sure to entertain, educate, and shock. Enjoy!

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Parents urged to stop kids from apparently video game-inspired riots.

CRACKED PARENTS, DON'T LET YOUR KIDS PLAY GRAND THEFT AUTO- IT'S APPARENTLY BAD FOR THEM. Emmanuel Macron asked parents to stop their kids from taking part in the riots of June 2023. Не said that some of the young people seemed to be copying what they had seen in violent video games, which had intoxicated them. M O T E SUNSET HORES

Channels TV / Slant 

"Manure to riches" scheme fails.

CRACKED A TRULY BULLSHIT PONZI SCHEME A 66-year-old Californian was given a jail sentence of more than six years for running a Ponzi scheme worth $8.7 million. Не had pretended to turn COW manure into green energy.

CNN 

Tanks, but no tanks.

CRACKED UKRAINE'S TANK DREAMS TANKED. Ukraine sent French-made AMX-10 RC tanks to the front line in the Donetsk region, but they weren't strong enough for the fighting and had to be pulled back - turns out that their light armor meant they couldn't be put on the front line.

Euronews 

Defying the law.

CRACKED НЕ TRIED TO MAKE DRUGS SAFER, BUT ENDED UP A CASUALTY OF HIS OWN CAUSE. A 51-year-old from Vancouver, Canada, opened a store selling drugs including heroin, cocaine, meth, and MDMA, in an effort to defy Canadian drug laws and provide people with access to clean drugs. But he died of an overdose soon after. Adults DRUGS THE STORE Only 18+ ID REQUIRED Possession Limit 2.5 Grams Per Drug Per Purchase Per Person NO EXEMPTIONS NO IMPURITIES OR CUTS D TORE THE 18 PLUS ID REQUIRED $20

Vice 

Heteronormative hypocrisy.

CRACKED POLITICIAN DOUBTS SYDNEY'S BELOVED GAY PENGUIN COUPLE. In July 2023, an Australian politician had some harsh words for Sydney Sea Life aquarium's famous gay penguin couple, Sphen and Magic. They accused the pair of making up their love story, and urged parents to stay away from the aquarium.

Star Observer 

Sorry, not sorry.

CRACKED THE HEAD OF UNITED AIRLINES FLIES PRIVATE. Scott Kirby, the head of United Airlines, said sorry for taking a private flight in the same week they were canceling thousands of flights and leaving customers all over the country without a way to get where they were going.

NBC 

Big price, small bag.

CRACKED A BROOKLYN ART GROUP JUST SOLD A HANDBAG SMALLER THAN A GRAIN OF SALT. An art group from Brooklyn sold a tiny handbag that was smaller than a grain of salt for over sixty-three thousand dollars at an auction.

BBC 

OpenAI: stealing content, one web page at a time.

CRACKED CHATGPT LEARNS FROM THE WORLD WITHOUT PERMISSION, AND NOW THE WORLD'S FIGHTING BACK. A class action lawsuit was taken against OpenAI, the people behind ChatGPT, for using stuff from the entire web to teach their Al language models without asking the people who made the content (i.e. just about everyone).

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