Costco Food Courts Go Behind A Paywall March 16th: So Long Cheap Hotdogs, Non-Members

There's a lot of great memories attached to the Costco food court, and that's all about to go behind a paywall.

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IKEA Is Producing Weird Audio Porn Now

Slam your genitals in as many consenting drawers as you want, but don't pretend it's making them cleaner.

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The News For Bullies Is Bad: Their Brains Are Small

You know what they say - small brain, huge inferiority complex that manifests as misplaced anger that's projected outward.

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Podcast

10 Regular Things We Should All Stop Mistaking For Aliens

Get ready to chill out about shadows, balloons, and more.

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Meet Bizarro Greta Thunberg, Spawned From A Rightwing Think Tank

We're entering some Injustice League territory here.

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Why Are Modern Blockbusters Full Of Pointless Action Scenes?

Do we need $20 million worth of CGI for this?

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The 5 Most Garbage Democrats In Congress

Just look at these asses.

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The Return Of Pint-Sized 'Jurassic Park' Tim?

No word on if Sam Jackson's disembodied arm will make a cameo... yet.

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Podcast

9 Bizarre & Surprising Stories Of Famous People Hanging Out

Featuring very special guest JESSE THORN!

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Marvel's Female Superhero Movies Were Saved By, Ugh, A Man

Underrepresented folks shouldn't have to hold out for a hero and find out stories like this years later.

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If You're A Climate Change Denier, You Might Be A Twitter Bot

You telling me my best friend and very real person @Patriot000646518 has been lying to me?!?

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PICTOFACTS

Scientific Reasons For B.S. Things Our Bodies Do

All those bizarre bodily quirks are there for science reasons.

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Facebook Is The Second Coming Of Crappy 1990s AOL

AOL is the blueprint for all technology.

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7 'Whaaat' Crimes You Won't Believe Are True

Crime does pay when you're writing a comedy article about it.

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An Old Zamboni Driver Won His Pro Hockey Debut

Hockey is a sport built mostly for fights and inspiring stories.

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