Cracked Columnists

The Guy Who Shipwrecked On A Cannibal Island Then Took It Over
Our mission here is to scour history for the single Weirdest Life Anyone Has Ever Lived.
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- By Ryan Menezes
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Why Christmas 2020 Could Be An All-Time Nightmare
And you thought it was bad every other year.
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- By Jason Pargin
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'Zoey Punches The Future in the Dick' Trailer aka, 'What Has David Wong Been Doing?'
The trailer for Jason 'David Wong' Pargin's newest book has arrived
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- By Jason Pargin
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5 Predictions For The Dumb 2020 Election Season
If this is going to be your first presidential election, let me just take a moment to apologize on behalf of American democracy.
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- By Jason Pargin
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Why Hollywood Should Scrap All COVID-19 Movies
Literally another other topic, please.
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- By Jason Pargin
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Historical Takeaways For What's Happening Now
History (both modern and powdered-wigged) has advice for us.
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- By Alex Schmidt
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Beloved Hobbies That Are Secretly The New 'Dad Things'
If you enjoy these things, you might be a dad!
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- By Lydia Bugg
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3 Emoji With Awesomely Bizarre Origin Stories
That poo pile is smiling for a reason.
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- By Alex Schmidt
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5 Common Beliefs That Make Disasters Worse
None of these ideologies are productive!
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- By Jason Pargin
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Unforeseen Job Hardships In A 'Booming' Economy
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- By Steven Assarian
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Behind The Scenes Stories Of Huge Video Games
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- By Tiago Svn
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Women Who Posed As Men (To Get Ahead)
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- By Heidi Lux
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5 Celebrities With Horrifyingly Terrible Relatives
These are great examples of why you shouldn't tell your kids that you're rich.
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- By Lydia Bugg
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Dating Reality Shows That Achieved Full Berserk
Reality dating shows are pretty weird as a general concept.
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- By Laura Merli
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Why There Is Suddenly A Thriving Market For Bigfoot Erotica
There's a long and fascinating history behind cryptozoological smut.
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- By Andrew McRae
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