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Frosty the Snowman Declares War on The War on Christmas

Buck Rogers and Flash Gordon have shown us that whenever there's a ridiculous war in the future, a brave hero from Earth's present travels there to win it. I thought that I could apply this scientific process to help win a ridiculous war raging today: The War on Christmas.

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The Best Goddamn Christmas Letter You Ever Got

As I do ever year, let me start by saying, you're welcome. You have no doubt received my final edits on your own Christmas letters in the mail by this point. I will say that on the whole, I found them as endearing as they were littered with cliches and errors.

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The 4 Most Irresponsible Sex Advice Books of All Time

On Halloween, G.O.D.E.K. doesn't give out candy-- he gives children tips on keeping their marriage spontaneous with heart balloons and back massage coupons. And speaking of children, the following four books were printed on their flattened and dried remains:

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The 10 Most Irreplaceable Performances in Comedy Films

Sometimes a comedy role is such a perfect combination of casting and performance that it's unthinkable for another actor to ever attempt it. Here are the top ten roles that could never have been and never will be replaced.

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The Terrifying Next Step in Xbox Kinect Evolution

I left the police station in a cold sweat, and hitchhiked out to the country, where I remain to this day, standing in the middle of an empty field, swinging a huge stick at anything that moves. I know what no man should: My Xbox has become self-aware.

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