Cracked Archive - Sports
4 Reasons College Athletes Need To Get Paid Now
The world's gone bonkers, so let's pay NCAA players, yes?
- By Jordan Breeding
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- July 31, 2020
Being Named Dan Snyder Is About To Suck
As news is about to break about Dan Snyder's awfulness, we can't help but feel sympathy for anyone named Dan Snyder.
- By Dan Duddy
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- July 17, 2020
WWE Wrestlers Testing Positive Should Surprise No One
This was predictable even by the standards of a scripted sports league.
- By Dan Duddy
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- June 25, 2020
Pro-Sports Forgot What Happened During The Last 'Pandemic Championship'
The 1919 Stanley Cup Finals were played during the influenza outbreak. It didn't end well.
- By Chris Corlew
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- June 14, 2020
NASCAR Has The Most Anti-Cop Origins Imaginable
Supporting the police protests is completely in line with Nascar's history.
- By Dan Duddy
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- June 11, 2020
Quarantine Means Next Season’s NBA Rookie Class Is Gonna Suuuck
It'll have a margin of success on par with randomly pulling names from a hat.
- By Luis Prada
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- June 08, 2020
NBA Games Are Gonna Be Weird
Every foul is two shots and a cotton swab jammed into the brain.
- By Luis Prada
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- June 05, 2020
It's Past Time For Drew Brees To Understand The Point Of Kneeling
There's a football pun here about fumbles or false starts, but Brees was just outright stupid.
- By Dan Duddy
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- June 04, 2020
A Real Race Car Driver Got Fired For Cheating ... In A Video Game
Imagine cheating not only to not win but then to get caught because you lost so much less than usual.
- By Amanda Mannen
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- May 29, 2020
Sportwriter Saves The NBA By Figuring Out How To Play Games At Disney World
Goofy doing blow on the sidelines with Jack Nicholson.
- By Luis Prada
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- May 25, 2020
Nobody Needs A 10-hour Tom Brady Documentary
Tom Brady played for an organization that's not going to give up anything remotely interesting about this man.
- By Isaac Cabe
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- May 22, 2020
This Extremely Stupid Man Accidentally Saved Thousands Of Lives
Rudy Gobert is the worst kind of hero, but he's the one we're stuck with.
- By Dan Duddy
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- May 15, 2020
Resuming Sports Right Now Is A Remarkably Dumbass Idea
We must protect Gardner Minshew II at all costs.
- By Dan Duddy
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- May 14, 2020
NFL Player Earl Thomas And His Brother Are Weird AF
This is going to make for a strange family reunion.
- By Dan Duddy
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- May 08, 2020
Taiwan Is Hosting Earth's Best (And Only) Baseball Games
Taiwan was rewarded for its handling of this crisis by actually getting their sports back on time, and they're making the most of it.
- By Isaac Cabe
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- April 30, 2020
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