Cracked Archive - Sports

The Browns Paid $230 Million For A Ticket On The Titanic
Usually when you sell your soul, you don't have to pay a quarter billion dollars on top of it.
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
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17
Baseball Needs More Pitchers Who Are On Acid
Dock Ellis figured out how to fix this game decades ago.
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
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2
Hockey and Doughnuts: The Extremely Canadian Life of Tim Horton
Tim Horton is as Canadian as Kids in the Hall and silly police uniforms.
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- By Amanda Mannen
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8
Watch An Olympic Gold Medal Skateboarder Shred In A Kimono
Today, we all dropped one rung on the cool rankings.
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- By Eli Yudin
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0
The Worst NFL Mock Draft Of 2022: My Attempt To Get Every Pick Wrong
Calculated failure was harder than I thought.
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- By Eli Yudin
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5
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NBA Jam: The Shady Reason The Bulls Couldn't Beat The Pistons
This game made $1 billion year one, thanks to LIES.
- Authors
- By Ryan Menezes
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0
No, Julian Edelman Isn't Joining Tom Brady On The Buccaneers
Now THIS, by god, is what I call an April Fool's Day MASTERPIECE!
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- By Eli Yudin
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0
A 75-Year-Old Hall Of Fame Pitcher Just Struck Someone Out Mid-Beer
Hold my beer while I teach these whippersnappers how to whiff.
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- By Eli Yudin
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0
How High Would A Literal Bear Be Picked In The NFL Draft
Let us imagine perhaps one of the most polarizing prospects ever to declare for the draft.
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
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11
We Were Idiots For Thinking Tom Brady Would Ever Retire
You cannot retire that which is inevitable. You can only forget it briefly.
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- By Eli Yudin
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10
10 Most Embarrassing Wrestling Themes Ever Written
Music in the world of pro-wrestling can be ridiculous in the best of ways. These theme songs are not that.
- Authors
- By Mac Faber
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26
A Murderer Gamed The System To Become A Chess Champion
He became second in the nation, from prison.
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- By Ryan Menezes
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7
Russian Olympians Beat Drug Testing By Slipping Clean Pee Through A Mouse Hole
This wasn't the pee tape we were expecting.
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- By Ryan Menezes
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11
Reminder: Anyone Can Trick The System And Qualify For The Olympics
Become the top-ranked (only) Hungarian skier!
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- By Ryan Menezes
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9
Football Players Pop Viagra To Win Games
This was not the male enhancement that was advertised.
- Authors
- By Ryan Menezes
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8