A real white-knucklehead race where hipsters brave loose cart wheels and snow to win.
Mathletes, eat your heart out.
Yes, Joe Biden's fortunes are mystically tied to the fortunes of the Chicago Bears.
It's progress, we guess.
They walked the field of really dull dreams.
Here's a cool dude you probably didn't know, but affected a lot of people in a good way.
The world's gone bonkers, so let's pay NCAA players, yes?
As news is about to break about Dan Snyder's awfulness, we can't help but feel sympathy for anyone named Dan Snyder.
This was predictable even by the standards of a scripted sports league.
The 1919 Stanley Cup Finals were played during the influenza outbreak. It didn't end well.
Supporting the police protests is completely in line with Nascar's history.
It'll have a margin of success on par with randomly pulling names from a hat.
Every foul is two shots and a cotton swab jammed into the brain.
There's a football pun here about fumbles or false starts, but Brees was just outright stupid.
Imagine cheating not only to not win but then to get caught because you lost so much less than usual.