A real white-knucklehead race where hipsters brave loose cart wheels and snow to win.
Mathletes, eat your heart out.
Yes, Joe Biden's fortunes are mystically tied to the fortunes of the Chicago Bears.
It's progress, we guess.
This was predictable even by the standards of a scripted sports league.
The 1919 Stanley Cup Finals were played during the influenza outbreak. It didn't end well.
It'll have a margin of success on par with randomly pulling names from a hat.
There's a football pun here about fumbles or false starts, but Brees was just outright stupid.