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30 Wild Facts About Athletes That Have Us Sweating

By:: Brian C. Miller; Cracked Writers

September 05, 2023

30 Wild Facts About Athletes That Have Us Sweating

Some people manage to take childhood hobbies like Little League baseball and Pop Warner football and make entire wildly lucrative careers out of moving a ball from one place to another with varying levels of violence. The star power that comes with can lead to some hilariously bonkers contracts that have to seen to be believed, as well as wild egos and tempers that result in on-field blowouts. These are some of our favorite facts about athletes and the crazy things that come up on the field…

30 Rougned Odor

Rougned Odor Texas Rangers TEXAS CRACKED.COM When your contract is already just shy of $50 million, you have to get creative with added incentives. The Rangers threw in a bonus of two horses to sweeten the deal. — Source: 15 Suspiciously Specific Clauses In Pro Athletes' Contracts

29 Rick Mirer

Rick Mirer Seattle Seahawks GRACKED COM Mirer's 1993 contract explicitly stated that nothing could keep him from getting that bread, up to and including the end of the world. — Source: 15 Suspiciously Specific Clauses In Pro Athletes' Contracts

28 Eddie Gaedel

Eddie Gaedel St. Louis Browns CRACKED.COM In 1951, Browns owner Bill Veeck hired the 3'7 performer for exactly one at-bat, in order to present an impossibly small strike zone and get a guaranteed walk. The ump called shenanigans, but they had the contract on-hand, SO it was all technically legit. — Source: 15 Suspiciously Specific Clauses In Pro Athletes' Contracts

27 Serena Williams

Serena Williams threatens asphyxia pen.or CRACKED.COM At the 2009 US Open, Williams was given a very questionable foul during a very important point. She yelled I'm gonna shove this f*ing ball down your f*ing throat, which the line judge swiftly reported as a death threat. — Source: 15 Big-Time Freak-Outs From Sports History

26 Ron Artest

The Malice at the Palace CRACKED.COM In 2004, a late-game fight between players on the Pistons and the Pacers turned into a full-team brawl. That's rare enough in the NBA, but then a fan hucked a beer at Ron Artest, and the carnage spilled into the bleachers. — Source: 15 Big-Time Freak-Outs From Sports History

25 Woody Hayes

An Ohio State coach decks a player's neck OC 58 CRACKED.COM Near the end of the 1978 Gator Bowl, a Clemson player was tackled out of bounds amidst a crowd of Ohio State players. Coach Hayes, possibly forgetting about all the newfangled TV cameras in the stadium, swung a sneaky roundhouse and connected with the player's throat. — Source: 15 Big-Time Freak-Outs From Sports History

24 Just all of the Bruins

The Bruins team up on a Rangers fan CRACKED.COM When a spectator reached over the glass and whapped a Bruins player with a rolled up magazine, the entire team retaliated. They hopped the barrier one by one and beat the tar out of the magazine guy and anyone who came to his aid. — Source: 15 Big-Time Freak-Outs From Sports History

23 Roger Clemens

Roger Clemens goes vampire hunting 22 GRACKED.COM When Mike Piazza's bat broke on a Roger Clemens pitch, a craggy half of the bat tumbled over to the pitcher's mound. Clemens quickly scooped it up and sidearmed it in Piazza's direction. Не first claimed that he thought it was the ball, and later that he was simply expediating the bat shard's journey home to its dugout. — Source: 15 Big-Time Freak-Outs From Sports History

22 Dennis Rodman

Dennis Rodman stomps a camera guy in the nards CRACKED.COM When Rodman was bumped out of bounds in a 1997 game against the Timberwolves, he landed on a pile of photographers. In a huff, he heeled the nearest set of nads to his Nikes, a decision that would cost him over $200k. — Source: 15 Big-Time Freak-Outs From Sports History

21 Eric Cantona

A soccer star dropkicks a heckler CRACKED.COM After being ejected from a game, Manchester United's Eric Cantona rather acrobatically launched his entire ass into the stands and dropkicked a dude who had heckled him. — Source: 15 Big-Time Freak-Outs From Sports History

20 George Brett

The Pine Tar Game Ro e CRACKED.COM In 1983, Royals legend George Brett dinged a go-ahead home run late in a game against the Yankees. But when a ref called it back because of an illegal amount of pine tar on the bat, Brett Naruto-charged out of the dugout to give him what-for. — Source: 15 Big-Time Freak-Outs From Sports History

19 Tie Domi

A fan falls into the penalty box MI CRACKED.COM In 2001, Flyers fans were pestering notorious ass-kicker Tie Domi in the penalty box, when the glass broke and a dude fell right in. Domi did what Domi does, and said in a post-game interview It's nice to see the fans get involved, I guess. — Source: 15 Big-Time Freak-Outs From Sports History

18 Stefan Schwartz

Stefan Schwartz Sunderland A.F.C. ILLU was CRACKED.COM Schwartz had such famous a preoccupation with space and space travel, the team stipulated that he must remain on Earth for the contract to remain valid. — Source: 15 Suspiciously Specific Clauses In Pro Athletes' Contracts

17 Roy Oswalt

Roy Oswalt Houston Astros GRACKED COM In 2005, Oswalt's contract said that if the team won the National League championship, he'd get a frickin' bulldozer. That seemed to be enough incentive for him, because the Astros won the NCLS and Oswalt got his dozer. — Source: 15 Suspiciously Specific Clauses In Pro Athletes' Contracts

16 Troy Glaus

Troy Glaus Arizona Diamondbacks CRACKED COM On top of his $45 million contract, the Diamondbacks agreed to toss a quarter- million dollars at his wife's horse hobby. — Source: 15 Suspiciously Specific Clauses In Pro Athletes' Contracts

15 Brad Lidge

Brad Lidge Houston Astros ALS JEBALL YO LIDGE 54 CRACKED.COM In 2006, the Astros threw in a highly unlikely $25,000 bonus incentive: he'd get that extra pot of cash if he won the Silver Slugger, an award given to the best hitter in the league at each position. The guy had 7 career at-bats at the time. — Source: 15 Suspiciously Specific Clauses In Pro Athletes' Contracts

14 Charlie Kerfeld

Charlie Kerfeld Houston Astros CRACKED.COM Kerfeld wore number 37, and wanted everyone to know it: he requested a one-year salary of $110,037.37, and 37 boxes of orange Jell-O. — Source: 15 Suspiciously Specific Clauses In Pro Athletes' Contracts

13 Manny Ramirez

Manny Ramirez Shikoku Island League Plus BOS TON Wilson 71 CRACKED.COM When Ramirez went to play ball in Japan in 2017, he had two particularly odd demands: that he could skip practice whenever he wanted, and that he'd be given unlimited sushi. — Source: 15 Suspiciously Specific Clauses In Pro Athletes' Contracts

12 Mikhail Youzhny

A tennis pro slices his own forehead open GRACKED.COM Russian tennis player Mikhail Youzhny was frustrated with his performance in a 2008 match, and decided to give himself a hard reset by bashing his own head repeatedly with his racket. And it worked! Не won the match. — Source: 15 Big-Time Freak-Outs From Sports History

11 Jim Rome

Jim Rome begs for mercy, live on-air CRACKED.COM Rams quarterback Jim Everett caught a lot of flack in 1989 for diving to the ground when he thought he was about to be tackled. But the freakout occurred years later, when Jim Rome repeatedly called him a girl on his radio show. Everett, as he promised he would, flipped the table and roughed him up a bit, while Rome squealed that he was just kidding, man! — Source: 15 Big-Time Freak-Outs From Sports History

10 Seattle Seahawks and Snowballs

The Seattle snowball fight CRACKED.COM In 2008, Seattle Seahawks fans started hurling snowballs at the visiting Jets team. The Jets' Shaun Ellis decided to toss something back, but brought out the big guns: he hucked a small boulder-sized chunk of ice at a swarm of hecklers. — Source: 15 Big-Time Freak-Outs From Sports History

9 Latrell Sprewell

Latrell Sprewell chokes (his coach) CRACKED.COM Coach PJ Carlesimo once told Sprewell to put a little mustard on a pass, causing him to utterly lose his sh*t and start dragging his coach by the throat for around 10 seconds. Не was escorted to the locker room, but managed to return just long enough to punch Carlesimo in the head. — Source: 15 Big-Time Freak-Outs From Sports History

8 Scottie Pippen

Scottie Pippen hucks a chair CRACKED COM Pippen was given two consecutive technical fouls for arguing with the refs, and was ejected from the game. On his way out, he grabbed a chair and haphazardly lobbed it, nearly hitting some kids. — Source: 15 Big-Time Freak-Outs From Sports History

7 Marco Materazzi / Zinedine Zidane

A+ FIFA banter ends in brutal headbutt CRACKED.COM During the 2006 World Cup Final, Italy's Marco Materazzi kept tugging on the jersey of France's Zinedine Zidane. Zidane told him he could have his shirt after the game (nice one!), and Materazzi said he'd rather have his sister (NICE one!!). That crossed a line, and the Frenchman noggin'd the Italian in the chest. — Source: 15 Big-Time Freak-Outs From Sports History

6 Roger Clemens

Roger Clemens Toronto Blue Jays oaston 22 CRACKED.COM In 1996, the Blue Jays agreed to let Clemens' kids practice in the Skydome, and gave them lockers in the clubhouse right next to their dad's. — Source: 15 Suspiciously Specific Clauses In Pro Athletes' Contracts

5 Michael Jordan

Michael Jordan Chicago Bulls BULLS 20 CRACKED COM Most pros are contractually barred from playing pickup games, but the best of best have enough leverage to include a love of the game clause. MJ put his to good use, putting in iconic extracurricular performances at a couple UNC alumni games (and also the Olympics). — Source: 15 Suspiciously Specific Clauses In Pro Athletes' Contracts

4 Mark McGwire

Mark McGwire St. Louis Cardinals MCGURE 25 CRACKED.COM Just before his big 1998 home run competition with Sammy Sosa, Big Mac put a stipulation in his contract that he'd get $1 per fan that came out to Busch Stadium (after 2.8 million). They wound up getting 3.2 million fans to the stadium that season --up from 2.4 milion in '97. — Source: 15 Suspiciously Specific Clauses In Pro Athletes' Contracts

3 Spencer Prior

Spencer Prior Cardiff City F.C. CRACKED.COM The team owner snuck in a clause that stated Prior had to eat sheep testicles before games (a weird, but legit tradition) and had to have physical liaisons with sheep (a weird, and wholly unnecessary dig at the Welsh). — Source: 15 Suspiciously Specific Clauses In Pro Athletes' Contracts

2 George Brett

George Brett Kansas City Royals Royals CRACKED.COM In order to finish out his career with the Royals, Brett requested the team return the infamous pine tar bat. The year before, he'd had a game-winning homerun called back because he was deemed to be using an illegal amount of pine tar on his bat. — Source: 15 Suspiciously Specific Clauses In Pro Athletes' Contracts

1 Rollie Fingers

Rollie Fingers Oakland Athletics CRACKED.COM Fingers had recently won a team mustache-growing contest, so in his contract extension, he stipulated that he'd be provided the finest mustache wax money could buy. — Source: 15 Suspiciously Specific Clauses In Pro Athletes' Contracts

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