SRLivewire
Fred stood there for 15 minutes choking on a mint before anyone noticed that he wasn't breathing
Ronin22
Dr. Manhattan was about to leave Earth for good until he saw that picture where if you cross your eyes you see little 3-D fishes. After that, he focused his energy on finding Waldo.
racedogg2
"I don't know, I like this work and all, but I disagree with the artist's use of blue dye that soaks anyone who looks at it."
geniuswaitress
"Picasso had a blue period? DAMN, I didn't even know dudes could menstruate."
itoldyouso
Police spent 35 years looking for Jimmy Hoffa, until one day when an Art Museum curator asked "Does anyone know where this statue came from?"
Fkelleghan
"And because of what Gary did, the blue paint factory will be closed until further notice."
racedogg2
At which point, Jackson Pollack screamed "Fish!" and the universe turned into a jelly bean.
geniuswaitress
The naked chick covered in flesh-colored paint is in the other, more-crowded room.
ChaseMitchell
That's just the artist, painted up and disguised as a sculpture so he can hear what people say about his work. He calls this piece "Crippling Insecurity."
Blinker_Fluid
...and that's why everyone will have to bring their own dry erase markers to work from now on.
Harriz
When Steve the breathe holding competition, he retained some dignity by doing a moonwalk retreat
geniuswaitress
"Wow, Bernie. Three people came to your gallery opening --that's triple last month's exhibit!"
singular1ty
3 trillion brain cells and the best he could come up with is to paint someone blue...
silenthunder26
Hey you guys did you hear someone was in that port-a-potty that tipped over outside?
headbangerbuggy
The one in back is using standard cable internet. The one up front is using all-new Verizon FiOS! Make the switch today!
andomamern
Dr. Manhattan reminisces about the days when a man could just walk around with his dick out
Fkelleghan
Have you got any addictions or mental issues that could raise the value of your art?
protonzel
I'm not sure I like the idea of being nude for half this movie...I should call my agent
Kamikaze Phoenix
During his visits to the museum, the guy from Blue Man Group was forced to take his primitive father, who was a very slow walker.
testpattern
I am holding my breath until grandma back there stops playing her stupid craps game!
Warren_et
Chet is wondering just how he is going to explain how he managed to get his entire body into the airline toilet without coming off as a total nutbar.
sgt.salt
now that he was featured in a ps3 game, he just never seemed to make time for his old NES friends
spectre_vampire
Little boy blue, come blow your horn. Your father's at an art museum, looking at porn.
klayb
what was your name again? evil, Dr.evil... Bruce Willis invited me.. hey Howie,tell this guy to let me in!
MattBlack
"I was thinking about becoming a musician, but there's really only one style I know how to play. Reggae. Why, what did you think I was going to say?"
Fkelleghan
Somebody please tell the director that film noir means you use blue lighting, not blue actors!
geniuswaitress
"Oops. When you invited me to your opening, I thought you meant your asshole."
ParentesPizza
"Great i make a blue guy statue, SOME ONE GO'S AND MAKES A BETTER ONE! AND THEN PUTS IT IN FRONT OF MINE! I QIUTE ART!"
geniuswaitress
The Creationism Museum may be fucked up, but the Evolution Museum is pretty strange too.
LouBriccant
At least when Ted finally snapped at the office, he took his agression out in a much more healthy, albiet eccentric, fashion.
Julius_Goat
"Now, if I play it cool, nobody will know that I've been to Willy Wonka's chocolate factory on my lunch break."
geniuswaitress
Even adults need to be careful about what they eat on the chocolate factory tour.
AltF4
"I went all out for those bastards at Blue Man Group. And I don't think Sharpie paint comes off."
fac51
Blue is a colour, the perception of which is evoked by light having a spectrum dominated by energy with a wavelength of roughly 440–490 nm. ... oh fuck this! alright the tin just blew up in my face.
Grimmrepo
You're not going to hold your breath longer than the Mona Lisa. Okay? Calm the fuck down.
sgt.salt
JOHNSON!!! do you mind telling me whhhhyyy you thought it would be a good idea to store the new shipment of company ink on my desk....supported by a rickety stack of books
HUMLY
"Hmmm...these painted-on jeans aren't attracting the ladies as much as Cosmo led me to believe."
Dilemma
So...he's blue? That's it? Big deal. BIG FUCKIN' DEAL! I'm brown and there aren't any craptions going to me!
RogersIB
Yes, there had long been rumors of negative health effects from the use of cell phones. But no one had ever pointed out the possible side effects from using a bluetooth.
Julius_Goat
A history of drug abuse was not the most shocking of Andre Agassi's recent confessions. Take, for example, what he had to do to prepare for sex.
Fkelleghan
The upcoming remake lacks the certain indefinable something that made the original WATCHMEN great.
sagittarius1203
This fashion show is brought to you by the first eliminated contestant on "Project Runway"!
namesnatcher
deca-polyhedron man was tired of not being a smooth operator, a square dude, and was feeling a little blue...
captaincabbage
Emma told the psychologist what she was seeing in her daily routine, as her hallucinations waited paitently outside for her
Ringzo
If you can identify the pattern here, you can tell that the blue man from the future is STANDING RIGHT BEHIND YOU OH GOD DON'T MOVE!
get_awesome
After being fired from the Blue Man Group, Bert found less and less job opportunities, especially with his being unable to do a convincing robot dance.
BergeronProcess
This week on "To Catch a Predator" Chris Hansen discovers Patrick Stewart's underground smurf sex ring.
cdizzy
Cerulean Trailing Pixel Syndrome - the paranoia that you are being pursued by a blue, low resolution antithesis of yourself.
jellojames
John really wanted to find the deeper meaning of the painting. After standing in the Art Museum for over a week, the manager decided to have him spray painted.
SMURFYSA
DEAR SMURFETTA I DID THIS ALL FOR YOU AND YOU RAN OFF WITH HEFTY SMURFY, WHOW AM I BLUE!
RogersIB
Sure steroids have side effects Jim had told himself, this however was not on he expected.
SMURFYSA
IF YOU REALY LIKE THIS LOOK JUST DRINK A LITTLE COLLOIDAL SILVER EVERY DAY, WORKS FOR ME.
kittybot2000
You can explain the meaning of art to me until you're blue in the face... I still think it's a bunch of shitty cubes back there.
Steaderz92
Ha! Look at that nerd with the glasses, in front of the woman with the multicoloured top. Crazy.
dudaruma
After a drop in ticket sales, the Blue Man Group decided to take a more serious approach in there shows
theHeadCase
Things made a turn for the worst when the Blue Man Group decided to do modern art.
slicer4ever
god's human designs from right to left: polygon man, blue man, and working man, sadly he did not stop at blue man
mjboudx
"Now where did I leave my keys..." Bruce Willis wondered as he wandered into the exploding paint building.
slvs
After a mediocre response at his third straight gallery showing, the artist blue himself.
saruman
"Hmmmmm, is the cake... a lie? Damn, they probably stare at me behind my back. My fucking color... I will hang myself tonight."
antigravityman
After years of feeling underapriciated by his partners, Brian left the Blue Man Group in hopes of finding work as a human statue...
teeps23
Remember when Ed Harris stuck his hand in that chemical toilet in The Abyss? this is what happens when you fall in
SuperMGS
Man With Glasses: "Here you can see modern day Blue man. Behind, you can see their ancestor Blockus Blueus. It is not known when they broke from Homo Sapiens however..." Lady in blue jacket: "Hehe, did he say homo?"
Charlie1224
Lex Luthor got more than he bargained for when Superman could turn him into stone.
acdc44
And so the Blue man group and their sidekick polygon were laid to rest in an art museum
imnew
Ironically Eiffel 65 was actually trying to bring awareness of an unfortunate medical condition
CaptainYork
The Blue man group's father was not amused with their on stage antics. He takes a calmer more artistic approach to life.
imnew
"I can't believe one of the artists here were lazy enough to just put up a mirror - abstract dick!"
freddakyn
-long after the age of man ended- My ,these humans look interesting...come brother Silly Angles,the next room shows "Bill Clinton's greatest moment"
ItalianStingray
Hitman knew that his new blue style was affecting his job, when his iddentity was compromised easily by pixel man
DonkeysRAliens
We are the alien race Bluemakoodoo... we have come to look intensely in that general direction
Nonsense88
"I'm not talented so I just poured a can of blue paint on myself and called it a painting."
DonkeysRAliens
Whilst the blue man pondered his existence, the bespectacled man behind him decided to do a moonwalk
ivanthered
The people thought the blue man was fake. The blue man thought the people were fake.
mixmaster93
Larrry, the most sophisticated member of the blue man, always regretted not following his dream of becoming an art critic.
blnksndyonfr
Blue Man Racism: All polygon blue men must stand 15 feet away from real blue men at all times
Rodimus
....And in this deleted scene from The Surrogates, Bruce's-- Wait I don't give a shit.
Nonsense88
"Well the guy in the flower shirt was jerking off, so we put this blue man here to steal all the attention. Needless to say, this is how we'll handle these situations in the future."
Joey_09876
"Hmmmmm, maybe encasing myself in plastic wasn't such a shrewd idea after all....."
cdizzy
It's like the evolution of man drawings, without the intermediate steps. And it's about video game characters.
SMURFYSA
I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE GONE TO A REAL DOCTOR THAT PAPA SMURF AND HIS DISCOUNT SMURF POTIONS IS A VERY UNSMURFY OLD QUACK
SMURFYSA
I DON'T KNOW WHY I KEEP HEARING THIS SONG LA LA LALALAAL SING A HAPPY SONG LA LA LALALAAL SURFING ALL DAY LONG
RogersIB
He struggled to finish his song of angst, "Babay babay, since I can't have you, Oh..oh..oh..oh I feel so...", arrgh, he drew a blank.
RogersIB
Christo decided to give Rodin's The Thinker an updated look. As with his island wrapping project, everyone asks why!
thesixthcircle
it was then that he realised, that without his hat, he could not be paid to move. thus, our blue friend is in quite a pickle.
kaly76hummer
Recently, I found an age-gap site called ~~~ Agegapmingle--C O M ~~~ It's a nice and free place for Younger Women and Older Men, or Older Women and Younger Men, to interact with each other. Age gap is not problem there. You may check out or t
kaly76hummer
Who cares!!! My boyfriend thinks the same with me. He is eight years older than me, lol. We met online at __Agelessmatch @ c o m__a nice and free place for Younger Women and Older Men, or Older Women and Younger Men, to interact with each other. Mayb
SMURFYSA
AND FOR THE FINAL BID FOR THE NIGHT THE WINNER GOES TO SMURFYSA FOR TEN MILLION SMURFBERRIES. SOLD!
Batman?
The statue in the back isn't supposed to look the one in the front. The guy just sucked
blayeboy
The reporter grew visibly angry as the technicians scurried to fix the bluescreen equipment.
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