Yeah, Tim and Lex straight up look like they've come from a rejected Robot Chicken sketch.

Universal PicturesWe can see why Mattel backed off the "Barbie's Dream Kitchen" after this.

When the characters have to run, they do so on a fixed rod, as if it's a table hockey game designed with part equal parts madness and LSD.

Universal PicturesYeah yeah, enough with the raptors. Where's the smoldering Goldblum action figure?

Of course, as we all know, the final movie utilized CGI instead of the same technology that gave us Celebrity Deathmatch. But hey, at least the figures here look better than the actual Jurassic Park action figures we got.

In the midst of rushing to thwart an intergalactic conspiracy, Jedi Knight Qui-Gon Jinn decides that rather than, say, slicing the slave-owning Watto in half with his lightsaber, the best way to save Anakin Skywalker is to bet on him in a lethal drag race. And it's good thing he does, because the podrace is one of the few exciting parts of The Phantom Menace. After all, it features no discussion of tariffs whatsoever.

Anakin emerges victorious in the cosmic Ben-Hur race, leaving the other pilots, like Sebulba, to live with the grim knowledge that had they not eaten his dusty shit that day, they would have literally prevented multiple genocides.

The Test Run:

This early assembly of the race sequence was comprised of rough effects and test footage. Apparently, even Industrial Light and Magic's process involves creating stuff that looks like a janky '80s TV show. Take the announcer aliens, who originally weren't CGI, but rather two dudes in masks seemingly bought at a Spirit Halloween.

20th Century Fox

And Anakin was played by ... some kid who definitely wasn't Jake Lloyd ...

20th Century FoxThis absolutely cries out for Tom Servo's silhouette at the bottom of the screen.

Meanwhile, Sebulba was a grotesque puppet seemingly imported from a Power Rangers porn parody.

20th Century FoxGreat visuals for a Sega CD game, less great as part of a $100 million budget.

So maybe instead of blasting George Lucas for his over-reliance on computer effects, we should all thank the Force that the prequels didn't look like a Jim Henson fever dream.

We do get glimpses of some trademark Batman moves, such as the use of his grappling hook.

Warner Bros. PicturesIt's the most intense action you can get while still looking like one of those "extreme paintball" places in a failing mall.

Though, again, he's not dressed as Batman, so there's less of a "Caped Crusader" vibe and more of a "mountaineer hopped up on bath salts" one.

After weathering a film that was mostly techno raving and techno babbling, audiences finally got a kickass chase scene toward the end of The Matrix Reloaded. Morpheus and Trinity escape on a freeway with the "Keymaker" (sadly not played by Rick Moranis), pursued by two Agents and the "Twins," rogue programs that look like the unholy love children of Predator and Michael Bolton.

The Test Run:

The previsualization process for this scene included planning every shot using sophisticated computer technology. But since this was 2003, that advanced tech made everything look like a sad mod for GoldenEye.

So breathtaking moments like this ...

Warner Bros. Pictures

... started out looking like this:

Warner Bros. PicturesThis is what you see if you take both pills, along with a generous glass of grain alcohol.

Sadly, we don't know whether they made a rendering of that rave, but we doubt early 2000s computers had enough RAM to process that much gyrating and thrusting.

But when he gets closer, we can see that they didn't spring for a full Xenomorph costume for this test. In fact, the dude is wearing nothing but a Speedo, plus a headpiece that looks like a homemade costume made out of a punching bag stuffed with his dignity.

20th Century FoxAnd somewhere, somehow, a young Doug Jones suddenly knew what he wanted to do with his life.

Seeing the alien like this absolutely of ruins the horror. In space, no one can hear you scream, but they can sure hear you laugh. This just makes us glad there are no Friday The 13th outtakes in which Jason stalks the teens of Camp Crystal Lake while sporting a banana hammock.

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