Sadly, the genre died alongside the Soviet Union, because Russia and the United States now get along swimmingly and have no disagreements to speak of.

Cinematografica Grovas"Por supuesto, Senor Presidente."

In Santo Contra El Cerebro Del Mal, Santo is brainwashed and turned into an unwilling minion of Doctor Campos, sort of like if Hawkeye ever bothered to wear a mask in The Avengers. To break the curse, another luchador pounds Santo in the face until his brain is no longer evil, and together they go kill a bunch of gangsters. This is what's known in the business as "a perfect script."

Azteca FilmsEveryone knows a wrestler chucking barrels like Donkey Kong is total Oscar bait.

In a decidedly sexy turn for the genre, Operacion 67 capitalized on James Bond's popularity by recasting the suave British spy as a masked Mexican wrestler. The hero refuses to remove his signature silver mask for the entire film, because "doing so would put all other men to shame." Then there's Neutron The Atomic Superman Vs. The Death Robots, which is pretty self-explanatory.

Eventually, the luchadores had defeated every conceivable threat and the genre petered out, because no one wanted to watch El Santo Versus Weakening Eyesight And The Doctor Who Says He Should Stop Clotheslining People For The Sake Of His Heart. But we'll always have the beautiful memories.

A typical Redsploitation film begins with a Native American protagonist being abused by whitey, and ends with our hero scalping and tomahawking those assholes in the most stomach-churning ways possible. Think Inglorious Basterds, but without all the subtlety. Of course, all of our Native heroes were portrayed by white people, in case you were worried Hollywood did something right.

In the not-quite-classic Thunder Warrior trilogy, for example, Thunder returns home from a long absence, only to discover construction workers tearing up his ancestral burial grounds so they can build an ... observatory? You know those damnable astronomers and their cultural insensitivity. Thunder initially tries to defuse the situation with words, but the construction workers laugh him off and beat him up a bit, 'cause whitey gotta white. So Thunder breaks into a store, walks right past the guns, and grabs a big-ass crossbow, 'cause Natives gotta Native. Thunder subsequently murders everyone in town for three straight movies, like Rambo with better hair.

Fulvia FilmThat chain gun was built using every part of the buffalo.

In Johnny Firecloud, Mr. Firecloud returns from the Army to find his tribe being harassed by a rich white rancher. Firecloud and the rancher have a good old-fashioned heart-to-heart. It goes about as well as you'd expect.

20th Century Fox"Maggie, I will find you!"

This ludicrous genre died out sometime in the '90s, when everyone outside of Cleveland, Washington, D.C., and Steven Seagal's entourage finally acknowledged that Native Americans probably weren't all mystical warriors secretly looking to get revenge on small-town America.

Ultime Grida Dalla Savana (Savage Man Savage Beast) is a barely connected collection of footage related to hunting, including a real(ly staged) scene of a man getting ripped apart by lions while his family watches in horror. Further sliding down the rabbit hole, La Donna Nel Mondo (Women Of The World) promised an in-depth look at naked women from other cultures. They threw a few whiteys in there too, but the movie existed solely to show exotic lady butts. In that, it delivered.

CinerizBoobs: The Universal Language

Farewell Uncle Tom is considered the horrific peak/nadir of the genre. The film depicts American slavery, and used hundreds of Haitian extras to give it that authentic feel. Robert Ebert's response was, "They have finally done it. Made the most disgusting, contemptuous insult to decency ever to masquerade as a documentary." The film was ridiculously violent, exploitative, and racist, but the directors claimed that having endless scenes of naked black women being brutally raped and killed was in fact "anti-racist," so really, who can say? Hey, the excuse works for Tarantino.

Euro International Film"It's still better than North, though."

The developing "Wakaliwood" film industry gained some infamy in the wake of Nabwana's ludicrous viral hit Who Killed Captain Alex?, and that was only the start. In Tebaatusasula: Ebola, self-proclaimed "Ebola hunters" try to stomp out Ebola in the developing world by shooting and kicking everything to death.

Ramon Film ProductionsThe safest place to leave your highly explosive gas tank is right in front of your dick.

Bad Black is probably about a doctor getting trained to fight, but all you really need to know is that the credits feature both "Kung Fu Villager" and "Kung Fu Cop."

They've even begun to diversify by adding violent music videos to their explosive catalogue.

This also doubles as both The Shawshank Redemption and Orange Is The New Black.

Nobody in Wakaliwood is under the impression that they're making high art. The films are knowingly over the top, and when they're shown in Ugandan theaters, they're often presented by a "Video Jockey." This emcee talks over the entire movie, yelling things like "Now expect the unexpectable!" and "Action is coming, I promise you!" (the latter of which is also DC's new marketing campaign). And because many of these films are recorded in several different languages, the VJs will often translate for their audiences. So every showing is a live Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode wherein the audience is riffing on a film that was only ever intended to be riffed on. It's movie joke inception.

One short, Attack On Nyege Nyege Island, was made at a film festival over a period of two days, and anyone who wanted to be an extra could be -- as evidenced by the film's "Waka Stars" musical group, which is made up of little kids who use martial arts to take down the Tiger Mafia.

Wakaliwood"They're grrrreat!"

All of this madness is actively ongoing, and they've set up a Patreon for people to donate to their bloody cause. And unlike a typical Hollywood production that uses audience money to pay for sexual harassment lawyers, money donated to Wakaliwood covers stuff like electricity and an Adobe Creative Cloud license.

Jordan Breeding wants to make a film genre called Jordansploitation, all about people who read his blog and follow him on Twitter -- naked.

You could create your own insane genre, couldn't you? Get that script started with a beginner's guide to Celtx.

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