Well there's another year we'll never get back. For what it's worth, we spent that whole year making the best stuff we possibly could, and millions of you read it! We've gathered our 20 top articles of 2017 so you can catch up. And if you want us to keep making stuff like this, become a subscriber and get rid of the ads and generally help us keep doing what we're doing!

Why The Internet Is About To Change For The Worse

The Top 20 Cracked Articles Of 2017

By David Wong

Maybe the most important underreported story of the year, if you like using the internet at all. No, this isn't about Net Neutrality -- it's an unrelated but equally bad and stupid problem. A digital media crash is wiping out publications left and right. It's one reason we're offering paid subscriptions for an ad-free experience and other bonus stuff, while other sites are trying everything from paywalls to Wikipedia-style fundraisers.

Read the alarming details and/or see what a Cracked subscription gets you.

7 Of Your Favorite Movies (That Aged F**king Horribly)

20th Century Fox

By JM McNab

Have you tried to watch Fight Club recently? It feels like it was made a hundred years ago. Or Jerry Maguire, in which (among other things) Cuba Gooding Jr. hilariously shakes off a serious brain injury? We guess social progress always means that the past looks shitty by comparison, so yay?

Ruin all of these movies for yourself here.

By JM McNab

We'll just quote this bit about The Little Mermaid:

"Based on what we know about other marine mammals, the only way mermaids could survive would be to have lots of blubber, hair, or both. These mammals would also have short appendages to reduce blood flow, meaning Ariel would quite literally be a hairy or obese mermaid with stubby arms, perhaps resembling something not unlike a demented walrus-potato-wig."

Read the rest!

6 Realities When Your Creepy-Ass Fetish Lands You In Prison

DAILYS NEWS NNYORK 'Cannibal cop' cooking breakfast and lunch for inmates, guards in lower Manhattan prison D.O.C
New York Daily News

By Robert Evans

His fetish was writing and sharing fictional stories about cooking and eating women. Actual women that he knew. Well, someone stumbled across those posts, and soon he was talking to the FBI and the headlines were screaming about the "Cannibal Cop" walking among us.

This will be one of the stupidest things you've read in your life.

By Chris Bucholz

This last season is when the series' two polar halves -- gritty realism and wondrous fantasy -- clashed in a way that, well, wasn't good. In a story that prided itself on subverting tropes and killing heroes, we're suddenly staring down the road toward what appears to be a very conventional climax. This is what happens when you don't meet your deadlines, George!

Chris Bucholz walks us through it.

Let's Shine Some Light On The Awfulness That Is Bill Maher


By Robert Evans

This is tough, because we suppose the whole point of guys like Maher is that all attention is good attention. Still, people are too quick to applaud the guy just because he occasionally comes out with an opinion they happen to agree with. The world is not divided neatly into teams! The enemy of your enemy is not your friend!

Read Evans' case against Maher here.

7 Concepts We Totally Take For Granted, Like 'White People'

Life Magazine

By Nathan Kamal and Jordan Breeding

Did you know that "teenager" as a stage of life was invented around World War II? Seriously, nobody used the word before that. Did you know that nobody went to the beach for fun until the 18th century? It turns out that lots of fundamental elements of everyday life were just pulled out of somebody's ass, and fairly recently.

Stuff all of this shit right into your read-holes.

This, by the way, is one of our favorite genres of article to write -- the stuff that makes you rethink the world around you, while laughing at a series of silly jokes along the way. If you want us to keep making stuff like that, subscribing will help, and also prevent you from having to look at ads ever again.

If you loved this article and want more content like this, support our site with a visit to our Contribution Page. Please and thank you.

For more check out The Top 25 Cracked Articles Of 2015 and The Top 25 Cracked Articls of 2014.

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