PurpleTowel

PurpleTowel's Cracked photo
  • Real Name: PurpleTowel
  • Location: Plano, TX.
  • Member Since: April 25th, 2007
  • Last Seen: May 23rd, 2012 11:35 am
  • Personal tag line: I am not creative enough to have written a personal tag line yet.
  • Message board posts: 3,762

About PurpleTowel

My name is Robert Evans. I specialize in dick jokes, journalism, and getting badly lost in foreign countries. If you'd like to hire me, I can be reached at revanswriter@gmail.com.

Feel free to drop me a message too. I'm really good about responding usually. Sometimes.

Articles

  1. 5 Scientific Explanations for Your Sexual Perversions
    By: Robert Evans | | 984,600 views
  2. 6 Stupid Gun Myths Everyone Believes (Thanks to Movies)
    By: Robert Evans | | 1,563,387 views
  3. 5 Terrifying Serial Killers Who Happened to Be Animals
    By: Robert Evans, Jacopo della Quercia | | 863,662 views
  4. 6 Historical Events That Are Way More Modern Than You Think
    By: Robert Evans, Pauli Poisuo, Jacopo della Quercia , Xavier Jackson | | 1,002,592 views
  5. 5 Ridiculous Sex Myths Everyone Believes
    By: Robert Evans | | 2,238,712 views
  6. 5 Seemingly Innocent Ways You've Screwed The World Today
    By: Robert Evans, Budd Erickson | | 1,105,626 views
  7. 6 Teenage Inventors That Changed The World
    By: Robert Evans, Mohammed Shariff | | 909,662 views
  8. 5 Tiny Computer Glitches That Caused Huge Disasters
    By: Robert Evans | | 1,086,133 views
  9. 5 People Who Screwed Things Up for Everybody
    By: Robert Evans | | 1,338,203 views
  10. 7 Ruthless Criminals Who Turned Good When Nobody Was Looking
    By: Robert Evans | | 607,238 views
  11. 6 People Who Single Handedly Screwed Entire Economies
    By: Robert Evans, Sam Cooper | | 807,549 views
  12. 5 Seemingly Innocent Ways You Risk Your Identity Every Day
    By: Robert Evans | | 715,683 views
  13. 6 Bizarre Incidents that Prove God Hates Sports
    By: Robert Evans | | 699,060 views
  14. 6 Old People Who Could Kick Your Ass
    By: Robert Evans | | 702,462 views
  15. The 6 Most Cynical Exploitations of Romantic Love in History
    By: Robert Evans | | 955,508 views
  16. The 7 Most Unexpectedly Awesome Parties in History
    By: Robert Evans, Jacopo della Quercia | | 1,138,178 views
  17. 5 Popular Safety Measures That Don't Make You Any Safer
    By: Robert Evans | | 1,503,476 views
  18. 5 International Incidents Caused by an Animal
    By: Robert Evans | | 652,085 views
  19. 6 Things You Won't Believe Are More Legal Than Marijuana
    By: Robert Evans | | 3,550,735 views
  20. 5 Ridiculous Gun Myths Everyone Believes (Thanks to Movies)
    By: Robert Evans | | 7,278,362 views
  21. 5 Horrible Diseases That Changed The World (For the Better)
    By: Robert Evans, Philip Moon | | 1,721,124 views
  22. 5 Reasons You Should Be Scared of Google
    By: Robert Evans | | 1,816,153 views
  23. 6 Supposedly Ancient Traditions (That Totally Aren't)
    By: Robert Evans, CRACKED Staff | | 1,498,959 views
  24. The 5 Creepiest Serial Killers (Who Were Animals)
    By: Robert Evans | | 1,627,260 views
  25. 5 Reasons The Internet Could Die At Any Moment
    By: Robert Evans | | 1,599,501 views
  26. 5 Reasons You Should Be Scared of Apple
    By: Robert Evans | | 2,389,970 views
  27. 6 Disgusting Ways Animals Can Improve Your Health
    By: Robert Evans | | 851,396 views
  28. The 5 Most Popular Safety Laws (That Don't Work)
    By: Robert Evans | | 2,290,888 views
  29. 5 Great Men Who Built Their Careers on Plagiarism
    By: Robert Evans | | 1,066,469 views
  30. 5 Whores Who Changed The Course of History
    By: Robert Evans | | 1,251,050 views
  31. 7 Species That Get High More Than We Do
    By: Robert Evans | | 1,667,633 views
  32. 7 Items You Won't Believe Are Actually Legal
    By: Robert Evans | | 5,342,821 views

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