John Cheese

John Cheese's Cracked photo
  • Real Name: John Cheese
  • Location: Illinois
  • Member Since: April 15th, 2008
  • Last Seen: May 17th, 2013 6:34 pm
  • Personal tag line: I am not creative enough to have written a personal tag line yet.
  • Message board posts: 3,552

About John Cheese

I'm tall.

Articles

  1. 8 Scenes That Prove Hollywood Doesn't Get Technology
    By: John Cheese
    2,471,972 views
  2. 6 Things Our Kids Just Plain Won't Get
    By: John Cheese
    2,131,715 views
  3. 7 Terrible Life Lessons Learned from 'The Neverending Story'
    By: John Cheese
    897,309 views
  4. Quitting Smoking: 6 Things You Notice About the Stupid World
    By: John Cheese
    1,242,063 views
  5. 5 Ways to Avoid Your Terrible Parents' Mistakes
    By: John Cheese
    1,274,678 views
  6. The 5 Most Implausible Old School Rap Songs
    By: John Cheese, David Wong
    900,992 views
  7. 5 Terrifying Online Trends (Invented By the News Media)
    By: John Cheese
    1,128,468 views
  8. 5 Gaming Technologies That Are Making Virtual Sex a Reality
    By: John Cheese
    1,178,936 views
  9. 5 Wacky Internet Pranks That Can Get You Jail Time
    By: John Cheese
    1,304,411 views
  10. Worst Job Ever: Video Game Sewer Repair
    By: John Cheese
    219,367 views
  11. 12 Things You'll Wish You'd Never Seen Under a Microscope
    By: John Cheese
    3,528,478 views
  12. 5 Ways Television Went Crazy Since I Quit Watching in 2003
    By: John Cheese
    1,828,753 views
  13. The 4 Most Important Things to Know as a Gamer Parent
    By: John Cheese
    1,698,741 views
  14. 7 Impractical Rock Star Fashions We Wish Had Caught On
    By: John Cheese
    1,191,058 views
  15. 5 Internet Life Lessons Parents Need to Start Teaching Kids
    By: John Cheese
    1,722,434 views
  16. 5 Things Nobody Tells You About Quitting Drinking
    By: John Cheese
    3,360,406 views
  17. 26 Sexy Halloween Costumes That Shouldn't Exist
    By: John Cheese
    3,847,116 views
  18. The Top 10 Celebrity Sex Videos Nobody Wanted to See
    By: John Cheese
    7,860,397 views
  19. Having Fun With 419 Scammers
    By: John Cheese
    349,258 views

Columns

  1. 5 Warning Signs That You're Finally Getting Older
    By: John Cheese
    734,103 views
  2. 5 Social Rules Parenthood Forces You to Break
    By: John Cheese
    729,328 views
  3. 9 Brilliant Moments of Comedy Hiding on YouTube
    By: John Cheese
    685,830 views
  4. 5 Ways You Suck at Customer Service Without Realizing It
    By: John Cheese
    707,265 views
  5. 6 Video Game Endings That Are Clearly F#@%ing With Us
    By: John Cheese
    1,061,194 views
  6. 5 Things in Life You're Never Really Prepared For
    By: John Cheese
    186,244 views
  7. 5 Common Misconceptions That Destroy Computers
    By: John Cheese
    1,030,404 views
  8. 4 Simple Pieces of Career Advice (Almost No One Follows)
    By: John Cheese
    692,265 views
  9. 5 Celebrities With Secretly Talented Siblings
    By: John Cheese
    684,432 views
  10. 5 Mistakes Made by Every New Parent
    By: John Cheese
    752,862 views
  11. 5 Tips to Avoid Getting Screwed by Your Next Online Purchase
    By: John Cheese
    463,187 views
  12. The 5 Worst Things People Do When Trying to 'Help'
    By: John Cheese
    650,355 views
  13. The 12 Most Strangely Satisfying Videos on the Internet
    By: John Cheese
    1,280,051 views
  14. 4 Things Politicians Will Never Understand About Poor People
    By: John Cheese
    1,296,794 views
  15. Worst Valentine's Day Dinner Ever
    By: John Cheese
    170,380 views
  16. The 5 Most Hilariously Awkward Press Conferences Ever
    By: John Cheese
    517,161 views
  17. 5 Reasons to Be Thankful When 'Glee' Robs You Blind
    By: John Cheese
    482,146 views
  18. 5 Pieces of Advice Every High School Graduate Should Get
    By: John Cheese
    697,322 views
  19. 10 Brilliant Comedy Gems Hiding on YouTube
    By: John Cheese
    1,262,810 views
  20. 5 Things Everyone Forgets to Check When Apartment Hunting
    By: John Cheese
    962,895 views
  21. 5 Excuses That Prevent Us from Growing Up
    By: John Cheese
    817,444 views
  22. 4 Easy Solutions To Problems We All Complain About
    By: John Cheese
    818,878 views
  23. The 5 Most Hilarious Abuses of Video Game Glitches
    By: John Cheese
    1,612,447 views
  24. The 5 Most Baffling Christmas-Related Crimes Ever
    By: John Cheese
    522,490 views
  25. 5 Popular Jokes That Only Make People Want to Punch You
    By: John Cheese
    1,150,096 views
  26. 5 Things I'm Secretly Thankful for This Thanksgiving
    By: John Cheese
    604,648 views
  27. 5 Arguments Parents Have (Never Won) With Their Kids
    By: John Cheese
    827,336 views
  28. 5 Things Men Do to Ruin Their Own Sex Lives
    By: John Cheese
    1,973,048 views
  29. 5 Common Pieces of Advice That Are Almost Always Wrong
    By: John Cheese
    957,328 views
  30. The 5 Stupidest Lies Advertisers Expect You to Believe
    By: John Cheese
    1,003,231 views
  31. The 5 Most Common Errors of First Time Job Applicants
    By: John Cheese
    884,822 views
  32. The 9 Stages of Halloween Appreciation Throughout Life
    By: John Cheese
    840,661 views
  33. 5 Pieces of Advice Every Adult Wishes They Got as a Teenager
    By: John Cheese
    1,158,389 views
  34. 6 Reasons It Is Impossible to Quit 'World of Warcraft'
    By: John Cheese
    821,951 views
  35. 11 Deep Space Photos You Won't Believe Aren't Photoshopped
    By: John Cheese
    943,944 views
  36. 5 Stupid Habits You Develop Growing Up in a Broken Home
    By: John Cheese
    1,421,233 views
  37. 5 Rock Stars You Won't Believe Are Secretly Musical Geniuses
    By: John Cheese
    1,034,524 views
  38. 5 Ways the Internet Convinced Me Not to Vote
    By: John Cheese
    499,076 views
  39. 5 Simple Things That Every Bad Cook Does Wrong
    By: John Cheese
    1,149,001 views
  40. 8 Sped Up Videos That Shatter Your Idea of Ordinary Things
    By: John Cheese
    938,372 views
  41. 5 Things Modern Kids Don't Understand About Being a 'Nerd'
    By: John Cheese
    1,273,207 views
  42. 5 Excuses We Make for Doing Terrible Things
    By: John Cheese
    623,913 views
  43. The 5 Saddest Second Careers of Celebrities
    By: John Cheese
    1,018,144 views
  44. 6 Great Ways to Remind Yourself That You're Poor
    By: John Cheese
    818,423 views
  45. The 9 Most Brilliant Pieces of Comedy Hiding on YouTube
    By: John Cheese
    1,597,559 views
  46. 5 Ways People With the Best Intentions Ruin Father's Day
    By: John Cheese
    501,317 views
  47. 5 Ways We Know Nintendo Has Lost Its Mind
    By: John Cheese
    875,864 views
  48. 4 Video Game Complaints We're Just Going to Have to Get Over
    By: John Cheese
    1,048,918 views
  49. 5 Reasons You Should Never Take Advice from Celebrities
    By: John Cheese
    1,038,979 views
  50. 5 Reasons 'Diablo III' Represents Gaming's Annoying Future
    By: John Cheese
    1,324,887 views
  51. 5 Hidden Land Mines of Parenthood That Can Blow Up Your Life
    By: John Cheese
    884,985 views
  52. 5 Dorky Hobbies Taken to Badass Extremes
    By: John Cheese
    1,062,251 views
  53. The 10 Most Satisfying Cases of Hecklers Getting Destroyed
    By: John Cheese
    2,258,865 views
  54. The 4 Easiest Ways to Accidentally Ruin Your Relationship
    By: John Cheese
    1,325,584 views
  55. The 6 Most Quoted Pieces of Advice (That Are Usually Wrong)
    By: John Cheese
    1,404,090 views
  56. 5 Dismissive Arguments That You Only Use When You're Wrong
    By: John Cheese
    1,263,835 views
  57. 5 Things Nobody Tells You About Having a Career
    By: John Cheese
    911,431 views
  58. 4 Old Sayings About Family That Are (Sometimes) B.S.
    By: John Cheese
    730,444 views
  59. 5 Things You Don't Learn About High School Until Too Late
    By: John Cheese
    1,634,996 views
  60. 5 Reasons Today Isn't Going to Suck
    By: John Cheese
    1,035,811 views
  61. 5 Things Spammers Ruined While We Weren't Paying Attention
    By: John Cheese
    717,619 views
  62. 5 Life Lessons You Only Learn Through Quitting Smoking
    By: John Cheese
    923,889 views
  63. 5 Common Anti-Internet Arguments (That Are Statistically BS)
    By: John Cheese
    769,657 views
  64. 5 Types of People Who Always Give Terrible Advice
    By: John Cheese
    920,196 views
  65. 5 Things You Should Know Before Trying to Fix Your Computer
    By: John Cheese
    1,240,131 views
  66. The 6 Stupidest Things We Use to Judge People We Don't Know
    By: John Cheese
    1,281,351 views
  67. The 5 Stupidest Habits You Develop Growing Up Poor
    By: John Cheese
    3,908,085 views
  68. 7 Things You Don't Realize About Addiction (Until You Quit)
    By: John Cheese
    1,158,964 views
  69. The 5 Reasons Marriage Scares Men (Aren't What You Think)
    By: John Cheese
    1,333,587 views
  70. 5 Reasons Your New Year's Resolution Is Going to Fail
    By: John Cheese
    455,342 views
  71. A Fly on the Wall Look at the Cracked.com Christmas Party
    By: John Cheese
    94,792 views
  72. 4 Awful Ways The Internet Is Tainting Everything Else
    By: John Cheese
    935,152 views
  73. 5 Terrible Things You Can't Stop Your Children From Doing
    By: John Cheese
    1,243,040 views
  74. 5 Reasons Money Can Buy Happiness
    By: John Cheese
    882,959 views
  75. 9 YouTube Videos That Prove Anyone Can Get Sober
    By: John Cheese
    446,405 views
  76. 5 Thanksgiving Disasters You're Probably Not Prepared For
    By: John Cheese
    695,947 views
  77. 5 Ways We Ruined the Occupy Wall Street Generation
    By: John Cheese
    2,303,337 views
  78. 5 Reasons You Don't Miss Your 20s When They're Over
    By: John Cheese
    1,337,435 views
  79. 7 Halloween Costumes That Never Look as Cool as You Think
    By: John Cheese
    1,217,829 views
  80. 5 Reasons Moving Sucks (And Costs) More Than You Expect
    By: John Cheese
    497,780 views
  81. 5 Parental Dick Moves You Hate (Until You're a Parent)
    By: John Cheese
    1,282,118 views
  82. 5 Unexpected Causes of Awkward Conversations With Your Kids
    By: John Cheese
    872,598 views
  83. 5 Bad Ideas for Dealing With Bullies You Learned in Movies
    By: John Cheese
    885,104 views
  84. 5 Ways You Know It's Time to Get Married
    By: John Cheese
    2,165,157 views
  85. 5 Ways to Tell You're Getting Too Old for Video Games
    By: John Cheese, David Wong
    1,778,234 views
  86. 5 Bits of Advice That Don't Make Sense Until It's Too Late
    By: John Cheese
    1,774,327 views
  87. 5 Bizarre Outbursts By Celebrities You Thought Were Sane
    By: John Cheese
    1,358,769 views
  88. The 5 Most Horrible Things Nobody Tells You About Babies
    By: John Cheese
    1,298,733 views
  89. 6 Reasons The Guy Who's Fixing Your Computer Hates You
    By: John Cheese
    2,613,555 views
  90. 5 Questions You Need to Ask (To Avoid Ruining Your Life)
    By: John Cheese
    1,594,835 views
  91. 5 Things I Can't Believe Websites Are Still Doing
    By: John Cheese
    1,438,063 views
  92. 5 Visions of the Future From Experts (Who Should Be Fired)
    By: John Cheese
    763,558 views
  93. 5 Incredibly Uncomfortable Yet SFW Sex Videos
    By: John Cheese
    928,849 views
  94. 5 Crucial Lessons Learned by Watching Kids Play Video Games
    By: John Cheese
    1,190,694 views
  95. 5 Pro-Marijuana Arguments That Aren't Helping
    By: John Cheese
    1,574,544 views
  96. 4 Anger Management Tips the Internet Could Really Use
    By: John Cheese
    621,249 views
  97. 5 Ways Methamphetamine Can Make You a New Person
    By: John Cheese
    803,345 views
  98. 5 Reasons Life Actually Does Get Better
    By: John Cheese
    2,312,775 views
  99. 5 Reasons Internet Access in America is a Disaster
    By: John Cheese
    775,813 views
  100. 5 Unhelpful People You Meet in Every Hospital
    By: John Cheese
    732,204 views
  101. 5 Things Nobody Tells You About Being Poor
    By: John Cheese
    2,731,817 views
  102. 6 Ad Campaigns That Prove Humanity Is Doomed
    By: John Cheese
    1,004,253 views
  103. 5 Reasons Pro Wrestlers are the Best Actors in the World
    By: John Cheese
    966,865 views

Videos

  1.
    5 Reasons The Guy Fixing Your Computer Hates You
    By: John Cheese, CRACKED Staff
    375,158 views
  2. If The Videos You Watched In Science Class Were Rated R
    By: John Cheese
    290,916 views

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