Kicking off our last cluster of rest-of-the-world-ers, this British costume represents a pretty fundamental misunderstanding of either the Rudolph mythos, or the basic anatomy of reindeer.
Shiver. From the part of Russia still using wood etchings for mass communication--there's actually a whole series of these, all featuring cherubic little boys outfitted in frilly costumes and longing pouty facial expressions. We went with this one because, in addition to the creepiness, we like the diagram of the important features of a carrot.
"Hey lady. I'm near-impotent and like to hide in the corner. Wanna fuck?"
For the winner in the not-Japan category, we have Germany at its absolute best. First of all, this is the creepiest lighting ever. It looks like a kangaroo prostitute standing under a lamp post on a deserted street, wondering how life slipped away from her. And why is her baby red? Is it still coated in afterbirth? Is this actually some non-marsupial in the midst of a C-Section? Fuck you Germany for making us ask these questions.
And yes, Japan topped that shit 11 times. Hold on to your butts.
We don't know what it is, we don't know why the wings disappeared when it landed on the cat's head, and we don't know where the probe is. All we do know is that we haven't been able to sleep since we saw these pictures.
The humor value of this Hello Kitty costume is directly proportional to how raspy and gruff the wearer's voice is. If you've got a bad cold or have spent years of your life at sea, putting this on and announcing to the room that you weigh the same as three apples will probably kill someone from laughter.
In Japan there's a huge problem with these guys sneaking into beach resorts and waiting for unsuspecting sunbathers to seek shelter from the sun.
The lack of leg holes, or room for anything south of the thigh, suggest this is probably the only haunted condom costume made for hovering double amputees in the world.
It's because of costumes like this that we here at Cracked finally changed our "sticking our dick in mailboxes" policy.
This robot is programmed for loving and is fully equipped to take it by force.
If you're kind of shy, this is the costume for you, because the less you say, the more hilarious it is. If you can wear this to a party, stand in the corner and say nothing the whole night, people will talk about you for years.
Awesome. If there's any adventurous girls reading this, here's an idea for this Halloween: turn this costume around, put it on, and see how many people get it. Now imagine trying to explain it to your children years from now, when a picture of it turns up on The Facebook of Tomorrow.
In Japan, they don't really understand how sideburns work.
It's stuff like this where Japan really demonstrates their dominance in the "fucking insanity" arena. The best western scientists working with the smartest robots could work for years and not come up with something like this.
Best costume of the year folks. We love the speedometer on this. Great for keeping it under control, and for measuring your progress.
If those costumes didn't convince you that the world is a terrifying place, check out 5 Scientific Reasons a Zombie Apocalypse Could Actually Happen. Or calm your nerves by reading up on The 7 Most Easily Escapable Movie Monsters. Or cower in the face of the horror that is CNN attempting to do comedy.