15 Rita Rudner Jokes for the Hall of Fame

‘I never know what to get my father for his birthday. I gave him a hundred dollars and said, ‘Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.’ So he went out and bought a present for my mother.’

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Cracked Round-Up: Climate Change Edition


Every time some website prints the phrase "climate change", a dozen red-faced old men's arteries harden. We don't have any particular political agenda, but it's pretty darn fun to watch 'em flip out. To repeat the excitement at home, find the angriest baby boomer you can and show them this picture of polar bears on a melting ice flow.

Chris Bucholz launched our week with a useful guide to the aftermath of obliterating an endangered species. Felix Clay followed up with the most ridiculous repercussions of time travel in movies while Diana Cook gave us hilarious ways the mainstream media failed at Google. Robert Brockway provided a simple guide to not being a total asshole and John Cheese reminded us what to remember when life goes to hell. Soren Bowie wrote a letter to the cops who kicked his ass while Cody closed us out with unintentionally hilarious celebrity instagrams.

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The 6 Most Unintentionally Hilarious Buildings Ever Proposed
Because architects like drugs too.

Notable Comment: "Freedom ship looks like a pretty good Zombie Apocalypse survival plan to me."

Sure, Ectoplasm. Because zombies wouldn't be dangerous on a tiny, enclosed space.

Cracked Round-Up: Climate Change Edition
5 Dumb Myths About Prehistoric Times That Everyone Believes
Incredibly, the Flintstones didn't provide us with a great background in archaeology.

Notable Comment: "My cave-mate's sister-in-law makes twenty rabbit skins an hour making fire at home. Go to freehidesandberries.ug to find out how."

Regnad Kcin isn't a spam bot. This site is legit.

Cracked Round-Up: Climate Change Edition
The 6 Most Ridiculous Things People Claimed to Legally Own
Copyright law exists MAINLY to serve the cause of douchebaggery.

Notable Comment: "Paris Hilton claims to own the phrase "That's hot.""

Fair enough, AaronJEdwards. We eagerly await the case of Paris Hilton V. The World.

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The 5 Most Insanely Misunderstood Morals of Famous Stories
Hey, screw actually reading the books that inspire you.

Notable Comment: "The movie Party Monster has inspired themed parties, which is deranged in almost precisely the same way as Gatsby parties are."

Bullshit, chaosprime. There's nothing hypocritical about partying in the back of a semi trailer.

Cracked Round-Up: Climate Change Edition
6 Carefully Planned Utopias That Went Spectacularly Insane
You can't spell 'perfect world' without 'hellish nightmare'. Well...you can, but you're not likely to.

Notable Comment: "Since when is Mitt Romney a libertarian? Do you retards even take Adolf Obama's dick out of your mouth before you write this drivel?"

Exile, we aren't sure if this is more of an insult to Hitler or Obama, but we ARE sure that either of them would make better conversation at a party than you.

Today's Topic
Cracked Round-Up: Climate Change Edition
Why Pulp Fiction is Secretly About Parallel Universes
Officially more thought than Tarantino ever put into the film.

Cracked Round-Up: Climate Change Edition
The 23 Worst Possible Ideas for Adult Films
We're practically giving money away! Wait, not practically. Totally. We're totally giving away money to people, people with mediocre to decent Photoshop skills. People like you. Wouldn't you like to be a person like you? This week, you can be by entering our latest contests, If Background Characters Got Their Own Action Figure, Innovations That Would Make Dating / Sex Easier, Brilliant Design Features You Never Noticed and Facts Famous People Don't Want You To Know.

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