If you delve too deeply into ballet, you'll find that it's a grueling contest even NFL linebackers couldn't endure.
Using an elaborate series of lies, I assembled a crack team of kind people and drilled them for information on how to make the world a better place.
Your Excellency, I guess I'll start this letter off the same way I started off the other 266 letters ...
These foreign dishes and delicacies need to be a woven into our global culture the way hamburgers are.
If the whole world was super, nothing would be.
Maybe someday we'll find a way to see like a shark without looking like an escaped mental patient.
Sometimes taking sweet revenge is a work of true art.
It turns out some of our most beloved actors, singers, and reality TV stars actually started out as hardened criminals.
All these kids learned was that the universe is pointless horror, and knowledge itself is a sham drummed up by the greeting card companies.
Why bother with all that education crap when you can skip school altogether and do some crap work for great pay?