Obligations are a natural part of the holidays. We're penciled in to see our family and friends on certain dates with certain gifts in tow, and that's just the way it is. And employers have figured "Hey, what's one more brick in their backpack, right?" and have decided to add company parties to your already-stretched-thin itinerary.
The company holiday party is like watching your boss hold up a handful of cash that could have been your year-end bonus right in front of you and then feed it to rats. And all you can do is take one sad bite of your shrimp cocktail and nod your head. These flagrant wastes of money usually lure in employees with an open bar, and and if you're especially unlucky, they'll also have one of those photo booths with the shitty props where Lauren in Sales goes to hold up a tiny little mustache on a stick in front of her face.
The entire night is an internal tango with your id, as you try to ride an impossible line of getting drunk enough to tolerate this cacophonous wail of slurred small talk and not getting so drunk that you do what your soul really came to do and ask your boss about his divorce. There is always -- and I do mean always -- the potential that it could be an outright disaster, and that at best you'll maybe get out of there relatively quickly and unscathed. Ordinarily, these are not expectations people go to a "party" with; they're expectations people go to war with.
How about you skip the nondenominational forced fun around December, and let us spend more time with our actual friends and family? You might be able to give us those aforementioned bonuses, and you'll save a ton on sliders and gift bags (of company swag!) that are always forgotten in the Uber on the ride home.