6

Makers of Cheap Ice Cream Charge You Extra For A Whole Bunch Of Air

Mariamichelle/Pixabay

We're so used to stomping our feet and shaking our heads at the potato chip companies for charging us for half a bag of air that we don't realize there's a worse offender: ice cream. Like with chips, ice cream legitimately requires air to function properly -- if Ben & Jerry's sold us just the good parts (ice, milk, cream, sugar), we'd get one big ball of teeth-wrecking ice. A blast of air keeps the product soft and lickable, which is kind of the entire point of ice cream (unless you eat it with a fork, like a monster).

And also like chips, the companies abuse the shit out of this necessity.

Specialized Equip

5

Think Your Movie Looks Too Dark? The Theater Probably Didn't Bother Changing The Lens

Bet_Noire/iStock

A lot of people are of the opinion that movies are too dark these days, and we don't mean just in the "Superman now murders people" sense. While some of this is the studios' doing, there's another reason why you might think that movies look dimmer and less colorful than before: The fact that they actually do, courtesy of your local theater's cheapness.

Jovo Marjanovic/iStock
"You gotta see it in 3D. The way that black blur goes over that other black blur is amazing."

As you might have noticed, tickets for 3D movies will fuck up your wallet considerably more than tickets for 2D ones. Naturally, theaters have a lot to gain from this, but the cost of switching between the 2D and 3D lenses eats into those profits and takes up an exorbitant amount of time. To combat this, many theaters simply ... don't switch them. This probably doesn't sound like a very big deal, but it is. Here's a handy graphic explaining it in detail:

David Butler/The Boston Globe

4

Starbucks Tells Baristas To Underfill Your Lattes

Stuart Wilson/Getty Images

Just like their hops-and-barley counterparts, coffee shops, particularly Starbucks, have cottoned on a way to trick customers into paying more for less. Only instead of downsizing the size of the cups, they just get reeeaaal tricky about how they tell employees to fill them.

Starbucks
That is, pretentiously.

After being accused of underfilling their lattes by about 25 percent of the advertised ounces, Starbucks came forward to say that their cups are indeed capable of holding the amount of coffee paid for ... provided the cups are filled to the ever-loving brim. Which, of course, they never do. The underfilling was all but guaranteed by a switch to new milk pitchers that came with shiny "fill to" lines that were lower than they should have been, forcing baristas to scam customers whether they realized it or not.

On top of that, the baristas were instructed to leave a quarter-inch of empty, coffee-less space in each cup -- that's like an extra 15 minutes of morning alertness you're robbing from us, dammit.

Starbucks
"And don't forget: Ensure an authentic Starbucks experience by totally butchering their name."

3

Netflix Messes With Its Own Mobile Apps So You Don't Stop Watching

kasinv/iStock

The upside of Netflix is that they don't make you sit through boring advertisements or watch around obnoxious banner ads to see the reanimated corpse of your favorite childhood series stumble its way through a reunion special -- they make money through subscription fees. As long as you're willing to pay up for their service, they're in business.

The downside? They'll occasionally tank that service just to keep you on the hook.

Netflix
Still more fun than watching "funny" insurance ads.

You would think the average household's 5.2 internet-connected devices would ensure the streaming company would never run out of business, but Netflix is still worried that you'll dump it for some bimbo, like Facebook or Instagram. Fearing that your excessive smartphoning combined with mobile data caps will make you abort that Friends binge-watch, Netflix voluntarily throttles the speed of their own mobile apps. Why? Because shittier streaming means you're using up less data, which means you don't go over your limit. The company figures it's better to keep you watching longer at a lower quality than to see you put your phone down until payday.

2

Mystery-Flavored Dum Dums Are The Candy Equivalent Of Pig Slop

Steve Snodgrass/Wiki Commons

Mystery candy flavors are an exciting proposition for children. No youngster can resist the thrill of pulling off the wrapper and confidently proclaiming "It's cherry!" before devolving into a massive fistfight with their neighbor, who thought it tasted like butterscotch. That stupid fuck.

Ewzzy/Tumblr
"Hmm, it tastes like banana split, with a hint of your-dad-left-because-he-hates-you-Timmy."

Turns out that both kids can be right. Mystery-flavored Dum Dums are just an amalgam of two different flavors -- which would be fine by us if that were the intent. We can just picture it: Two candymen in lab coats mixing and matching flavors, searching for the perfect lollipop combination. Unfortunately, the truth is less Willy Wonka fun and more Charlie And The Chocolate Factory (Tim Burton version) nastiness.

1

Disney World's American Flags Have The Wrong Amount Of Stars (To Save Money)

Walt Disney Resorts

From the intricate Easter eggs hidden all around to the painstaking steps taken to ensure the ultimate illusion of a cartoon reality, Disney spares no expense in making their parks as magical as possible. The thing about "sparing no expense," though, is that it's super goddamn expensive. So, naturally, Disney cuts a few corners. Corners like faking patriotism to save a few bucks.

Ever noticed the bajillion American flags decorating Disney World's Main Street USA? No, you haven't: They aren't technically American flags. Spot the difference:

WDW Secrets

Hidden Mickeys Guide
If you didn't immediately feel repulsed upon seeing these pictures, you're a bad American.

Yep, while the main flag located smack dab in the middle of Main Street's square is the real deal, the rest of Disney's flags contain fewer than 50 stars. This isn't shoddy math on Disney's part, or evidence that they're megalomaniacal Nazis, despite what conspiracy theorists would have us believe -- it's an intentional choice designed to save time and money.

You see, the official customs for displaying an American flag include a bunch of rules to ensure maximum care and respect. For instance, American flags must be taken down in inclement weather and prominently lit at night. Disney can't be arsed to do that with all of its flags, so they found a loophole. By putting fewer stars on them, they're making it so they're not really American flags and don't need to be treated as such. They're flags from some strange parallel world where Canada invaded the north, or Florida finally floated off, or something like that.

Another side effect of the fauxmerican flags is that they don't have to fly at half mast during special occasions (only the main flag does). For instance, here's Disney World after Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia died:

Brandon Glover/Touring Plans
Though we like to think the flags are simply staging a Kaepernick-esque protest.

So if you've ever visited Disney and saluted one of these fake flags, we're sorry, but you're a traitor to the nation, and the feds will come to deport you any second now. Bye.

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For more ways money is slipping from your wallet, check out 6 Subtle Ways You're Getting Screwed At The Grocery Store and 5 Ways Stores Use Science to Trick You Into Buying Crap.

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