"Dr. Feelgood" Gave JFK His Signature Pep
JFK is remembered as a master orator, a skilled diplomat, a war hero, a charismatic family man, and an absolute shagabond. Unbeknownst to most, however, he was also a walking medical textbook. He suffered from (among other things) high cholesterol, inflammation of the prostate, colitis, severe allergies, a wartime spinal injury that frequently left him reeling in spasmodic agony, and just for good measure, an ultra-painful adrenal disorder.
So how did JFK manage to not only hide these conditions from the general public, but also achieve everything he did in his relatively short time in office? Oh, that's easy. It was all the drugs. Enter Max Jacobson, aka "Dr Feelgood." Despite everything you're about to read, Jacobson was a legit doctor for many years. After fleeing Nazi Germany, however, he transitioned to spinning up drugshakes made from all manner of vitamins, painkillers, enzymes, and tranquilizers for the rich and famous, including Truman Capote, Tennessee Williams, Marilyn Monroe, and Elvis.
RCA Victor, B. Parry, J. Mitchell, O. FernandezA list you may note includes an overdose, a suspected overdose, a drug-related heart attack, and drug-related liver failure. Not a great look, doc.
With these connections, it wasn't long before Jacobson and JFK found themselves in the same room. They got to talking, and eventually JFK opened up about his health and how his presidential campaign was slowly killing him. Jacobson responded by giving JFK one of his signature treatments, after which the man was born anew, feeling well enough to demolish Richard Nixon for the title.
After the election, JFK returned the favor by making Jacobson his pharma hookup. Whether he was at the White House or traveling overseas, Dr. Feelgood was there to help him feel ... good. Ohh, we get it. Not everyone was thrilled, however. After he refused to list the ingredients for his concoctions, the FBI "borrowed" an empty bottle in order to analyze the dregs, but the results were inconclusive. The Secret Service referred to Jacobson as the "bat wing and chicken blood doctor," while Hans Kraus (JFK's orthopedic surgeon) reportedly said, "No president with his finger on the red button has any business taking [that] stuff."
JFK brushed off any and all criticism of his new friend drugs, to the point where it took some flat out blackmail from Kraus to get him unhooked from Jacobson. With help from White House Physician Admiral George Burkley, Kraus got JFK into intense physiotherapy in order to stimulate his back into healing naturally.
We hope you were all paying attention to the moral of this story, kids: Drugs might seem like a good idea when you're vulnerable, but that's only because they absolutely are, and you'll become so good at doing stuff that people will idolize you for decades. Wait ...
George H.W. Bush Warned White House Staff Not To Feed His Fat Dog
In February 1992, President George H.W. Bush issued a memo outing a member of his own family for living life a little too large at taxpayers expense. This individual, he said, was a lazy, no-good, refrigerator-hogging menace who wasn't pulling their weight -- and since it was now beginning to get a little embarrassing to be seen in their presence, decisive action was required to fix the problem. The individual in question? His dog, Ranger.
Gage SkidmoreWho did you think we were talking about?