20 Tacky Religious Products Guaranteed to Anger God
If you're reading this, God, (and, let's not kid ourselves, of course you are), we'd gladly accept the responsibility of rounding up a few other companies that you should probably smite the hell out of.
Notable Comment: AllGayAllTheTime says "I LOVE Testamints, especially spearmint!" Is that an intentional pun? Like, do they seriously market 'Sharpen that Spear[mint] and stab it into Jesus' side?' If not, they should. This marketing writes itself.
SEX SEX SEX!
The 15 Most Bizarre Mating Rituals
A snake orgy is nowhere near as erotic as it sounds.
Notable Comment: anthro student whines "Actually, the bonobos (also known as the pygmy chimpanzee) scientific name is Pan paniscus and the 'common' chimp is Pan troglodytes. Both are classified as 'chimp' and are the only two species of chimp recognized." Yes, originally we were going to dive into a lengthy but informative lesson describing the subtle yet important differences between Pan paniscus and Pan troglodytes, but then we remembered that we're Cracked, so instead, we alluded to a chimp-lesbian-adventure so you could all think about a bunch of lady chimps doin' it the next time you're boning.
The 7 Most Underachieving Wizards in Hollywood History
With great power comes great opportunities to sit around and do nothing with your great power.
Notable Comment: We refuse to highlight a comment from this article. The comments section featured some of the nerdiest comments we have ever seen. Which obscure wizards we left out, which precious wizards we were too hard on, which baseball team Gargamel more closely resembled than the White Sox. Way too much nerd for an already nerdy site.
YOU YOU YOU!
The 30 Most Regrettable Bumper Stickers
We just want one contest where someone doesn't mention child pornography. Can we do that? One contest, is that so hard? Anyhow, someone on this list made real-live money. Wouldn't you like to be that person? Check out this week's contest about movie merchandise we wish they'd had the balls to make.
warning: the bears are diabetic..
"Well shit," thought Leonard, upon arrival. "Those were the three main reasons I came to Thailand."
When Stephen Hawking's wife was away, out came Sally...
Yes, Billy, I'm sorry you had to find out this way. Grandma wasn't real.
...and Sega fails miserably trying to compete with the Nintendo Wii.
Tagline: He's not handi-capable. He's handi-UNSTOPPABLE.
The Australian Air Force is underfunded, but they don't mess around.
It took 3 weeks to finally unclog the shower, and there was much rejoicing.
Not pictured: Enough ass to make this picture interesting.
The horrific, wraith-like colossi served as warnings to those crossing the bridge that they were entering the wasteland known as New Jersey.
After utterly crushing all opposition and forcing the tennis world to its knees, the Williams sisters discuss the next target for their rage.
Stop digging dude! You're here!
The dead hooker I planted finally took root.
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