IrishTerror
Tragedy at the Special Olympics today, as the gymnastics squad practiced a little too close to the javelin team.
usedretainers
"Can we rebuild him?" "Sure, but I am getting pretty hungry..." "All right, lets just shove a bunch of canes fucking everywhere and get some Kung Pow Chicken."
Crenshaw
Congratulations. You should now be receiving a beautiful High-Definition signal.
omgtehlindsay
But, uh, yeah, other than that, France is EXACTLY like the United States.
theschrutebuck
Even though he was hung like a mouse, Wong had truly earned his nickname: "The Tripod".
BigBear
The always controversial Ang Lee announces his latest project: "Crouching Pole Man, Hidden Vagina"
Bartholomew
Some advertisements of the latest installment in the Rocky Balboa saga have failed to woo the audience into theaters.
Corpsy
It never bothers him when people say he's gay, but whenever someone says "he must be Polish" he flies into a ballistic rage.
Corpsy
An encounter with the Omni-Raper would leave you naked and crying in the fetal position as well.
buttcleaner
POLEio was a debilitating disease, fortunatly there is an effective vaccine.
LardLad
Hand-stilt-walking-tail-wagging-unicorn-impersonating-felatio is the hot new X-Treme sport this year.
roninhobbit
The old men had propped the man out front, as a grisly reminder of what happens when you try to fuck with the elderly.
FaceEater
everyone thought Wu would never be a face pole prodigy after the accident, but he proved them all wrong
usedretainers
As the government's lead exhibit against the Yard Dart Corporations, Ruben was given the VIP treatment, which included not having to wear any pants to the premier of Eyes Wide Shut 2.
Roland1232
His fellow scientists had laughed at him, called him a fool, a dreamer. But his divining rods had worked. He found pussy.
emossy
Certain spinal injuries can be avoided simply by not being a Japanese movie star.
djseifer
Seconds later, the test of the underwater lightning rod for humans would come to a tragic success.
monneyman3
Upon hearing news of a "Really Special Olympics" in 2009, Joel began the month-long scuttle to the registration office two blocks down the street.
Wisteria
Hilary Clinton learned a vaulable lesson on why government paper pushers should not decide what is good healthcare.
phreesh
While Jimmy's presentation on the Kennedy assassination was passionate, it lacked substance.
Topper
And with this fianl kill, the trio of Invisible Blind Ninjas defeated the last of their sworn enemy: Men With Crutches.
Crenshaw
See, this is what happens when you combine the ideas of the Chinese, Jews and French.
sambowman
He had poles protruding from his body and she was a naked woman printed on the poster behind him, but damnit... it was love.
diddy0071
The Human pincushion experiment was raising eyebrows at the UCLA medical Research Center.
lindsey_k86
"I've got a sp...I've got a spiii...I've got a spiiiee...I've got a spi..spike in my head. Wow what a great audience."
IrishTerror
It was the most intense acupuncture session I've ever seen, but he twirled himself around his crutches and walked again.
ManualAutomaton
nude levitation girl and paraplegic dartboard lad made a great crime fighting due until Goldberg Variations body remix caused them to do 10/11ths of a 69.
usedretainers
The cane extensions Richie had requested of his Doctor were plentiful, but ultimately poorly installed.
Corpsy
While geneticists struggle with the morality of artificially altering the human genome, supposedly normal people are doing, or paying to watch people doing this. Bring on the mutants!
Corpsy
When the machines built the first Matrix, they had to use whatever spare parts they could find.
Radzilla
Naked chick: "Goddamnit Mr. Hawking, that's not what I meant when I asked how the Big Bang could be proven."
gatorboymike
Sadly, Hoshi's attempt to blend in as one of the Sea Cripples didn't fool anyone.
Accoch63
Pictured: Screencap from the final scene of little-known box office bomb, "Sharks on a Plane".
DJrevolvesIT
last time he attempted to suck the blue ball through a pipe he ended up with a super spinal tap and a severe skull fuck. but dammit he was going to try again.
LardLad
David Blaine impresses again by deepthroating a pole and having the other end come out of his elbow, his forehead, AND his ass.
Drunkenprophet
"Oh your life sucks? You ever accidentally rape someone when you sneezed? No, no didn't think so... ...Fuck I need an Aspirin."
JewelsVern
This is what you call spherically lame. I mean it's lame any way you look at it.
Oohntah
WOW, the interview for a job here at Cracked is a bit extensive...but the perks makes it worth the trouble!
Fairview
My friends never believed me when I told them about the time I smoked a 6-paper joint and turned into a scorpion. Until now.
BritneysWig
A faint thought crept into the back corner of Jim's mind as he walked along the Subway corridor: Buy a fuckin' car as fast as humanly possible.
Lewis
Despite the failure of The Number 23, Jim Carrey was sure his next movie, The Adventures of Naked Crippled Air Football Guy and His Multiple Impalings would see him receive the critical acclaim he knew he deserved.
cora1984
WOW...so sweet, seems she is famous on a tall dating site~~~~~Tallmingle.com ,there are many hot models.they vote the most beautiful member eah month. funny thing.....
nuro
this is what happens when you lose all but your porn hardrive and still have to turn in the ad.
Majani
Following his 2002 Paralympics diving gold medal, Jim Cooper celebrated by doing 'the Worm'. Spectators couldn't help but feel that the display seemed less than spontaneous.
Marcos
Bill was enraged, he never thought the man-thongs he invented would ever be advertised in such a way.
mebenjam
Why are the the first letters of the names not capitalized, but the rest of the word is?
qqqman
1...2...3...4... Hey, Mary Jane? What comes after 4? 5, Peter. Shouldn't you put your costume on?
scarecrow8
Mattel ups the ante with a new disabled action figure with 3 more points of articulation, up from 1, complete with disappointed, crying mother
OlDirtyBen
"Well the good thing is we didn't have to insert a pole into your anus." "Outstanding."
Platnap
Due to the falling dollar, this is all the doctors could do for the Million Dollar Man.
TillyKGB
Not surprisingly, the Japanese version of Wolverine had been completely lost in translation.
vidism7
the special olympics merged with ringling bros. and are now touring with lallapollooza
cthulhugoo
Homosexual criple cock smoking training. Now with handle bars for your pleasure
fedrich519
The Special Olympics hit a new low when they allowed the javelin throw to occur at the same time as the long jump.
Cracked_Addict
Mark always had a peculiar fascination with walking sticks, but he finally took it too far.
MaxProwess
The Chinese were piss to find out that they are actually hosting the special olympics this summer.
DragonFlyJones
John Woo's adaptation of David Lynch's memoirs.. opened to less than favorable reviews..
nuro
japanese artists succeed in creating a picture with a WHAT THE FUCK value of imeasurable quanities.
solomilloroto
Buy the new and improved Dyson A.I. Vaccums! They not only suck on your dirt but also light a huge match with its butcheeks!
sircrowbar
Straw Gymnastics, the sport of the future, really only picked up once wacky straws were considered legal.
kbilly
Years afterward, Hugo would still be plagued with the memory of turning down the bowl of cheerios that morning.
thevelveturd
From the makers of the thighmaster and the ab-roller presenting the next big thing in fitness.....ok this is just fucked up.
thevelveturd
Jeff tried to make up for his tiny crutches by overcompensating in other areas.
thevelveturd
Sorry to bother you maam, but I'm trying to help my friend here find his son. Little guy. Orange with white stripes.
Danielle
So you thought 69 was kinky, well have you ever tried 69.10.100/299.11 . . . ooooh yeaaah.
Hounderdoggen
In order to one-up America, China adds the "dodecaaplegic" category to their special olympics.
manbrarian
Can't afford a roomba? Pay this guy to sweep your floor with his broken, unusable legs. Now with multidirectional obstacle sensors!
cigjonser
"Are you sure this will help me win?" "Definitely!" (chuckle) "Why are you laughing?" "Um...Nothing."
boxless
"The heroic story of a man who survived a near fatal retirement home beating and found love in the process."
boxless
"The heroic story of a man who survived a near-fatal retirement home beating and found love in the process."
QuantumDonkey
If you only see one film this year, make sure it's "The Unicorn and The Proctologist", written, directed, and performed by Tom Cruise.
QuantumDonkey
If you have time to only see one dramatic and powerful film this year, make sure it's "The Unicorn and the Proctologist," written, directed, and performed by Tom Cruise.
wuzzman16
69*10%11 that looks like its gonna be the craziest sex posistion im gonna have to watch that movie.
crazydaiz
Funny how little a naked lady doing a flying somersault can distract you from whatever the hell is going on here
callino
"We can rebuild him, we have the technology. We can make him better .. stronger .. fas..." "How about built in crutches?" "He won't need ... " "What's wrong with crutches?" "Nothing, but .." "Do you want to get HR up here?" "You suck Bob."
evilbunnyslayer
The newest Olympic event will be introduced at the 2008 Summer Olympics in Beijing. playing kits containing equipment and rules will be on toystore shelves as early as spring of next year
Roxstar
A behind-the-scenes look at the new documentary following the training of Japanese male prostitutes.
Ranger
Being retarded is like winning a medal in the Special Olympics. It doesn't matter, because at the end of the day you're still Asian! www.NeilsNotes.com
WestWolves62
Even after the shoot, Jeff still thought they should've used a real midget.
Typler
Tragedy struck today at the Special Olympics' Blind Crippled Swimming event after contestants failed to be notified of which way was up.
DickeMan
The Chinese Special Olympics team is on steroids! How are we gonna compete with that?
November 2009
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