Cracked Columnists
5 Things You Should Know Before Making an Indie Movie
Indie filmmakers, heed my warnings. I have scrawled them here, like a madman's crooked notations on a napkin he hopes to somehow put in the hands of a former self, a younger self or a less haunted self.
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- By Michael Swaim
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0 The 6 Most Spectacular Dick Moves in Online Gaming History
More time and money have gone into video game assholery than real proctological research.
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- By Luke McKinney
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5 Reasons I'm Not Sorry for Burning Down Your Walmart
You're probably quite reasonably asking why I did this. Well, not withstanding my love for committing acts, this time I had some pretty good reasons. Here they are.
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- By Chris Bucholz
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The 6 Luckiest Near-Death Experiences Ever Caught on Camera
To those of you who did absolutely nothing to save yourselves, but are simply too smiled upon by the universe to be pulped by a garbage truck, we salute you.
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- By Robert Brockway
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4 Directors Who Should Have Quit After Their First Movie
In the case of following four directors, they would have been better off creating one great movie and then bowing out of the spotlight forever. Instead, they insisted that the world keep watching as they committed cultural suicide, 90 painful minutes at a time.
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- By Soren Bowie
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5 Famous Bands That Are Clearly Ashamed of Key Members
It's a sad fact of life in a band that, sometimes, certain members are going to get a little less attention than others. And some bands take hiding their peripheral members to dizzying new heights.
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- By Adam Tod Brown
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The 5 Dumbest Nicknames (and Why the Media Uses Them)
The media's nicknames are incredibly stupid. Not the public figures behind them. Not always.
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- By Chris Bucholz
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6 Retro Ads With Accidental Sexual Innuendos
From what we can tell, 20th century admen were either hopelessly naive or diabolically perverted. Either way, we can laugh at the fruits of their labor.
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- By Kristi Harrison
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3 'Genius' Artists Who Created Their Best Works by Accident
It turns out that some artists are just putting forth a certain sound with the instrument they have been given without any mastery or understanding of how it got there.
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- By Gladstone
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5 Things We Need to Stop Feeling Nostalgic For
People love to mourn the passing of trivial things that, deep down, everyone knows nobody really cares about.
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- By Adam Tod Brown
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Why the Rapper from 'Friday' and 'Thanksgiving' Is Evil
He strikes again and he must be stopped at all costs.
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- By Soren Bowie
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6 Fun Things About Fall (That Actually Symbolize Death)
For all of you who live in places without seasons, here's why the fall is so great: dark days, strange skies and the smoky scent of mortality mixed with fear.
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- By Brendan McGinley
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Donald Trump's 4 Most Hilarious Attempts at a Good Idea
Donald Trump is not all veiled racism and self-aggrandizing mockubation. How could he have gotten where he is in life with no good qualities?
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- By Felix Clay
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4 Twilight Movies According to Someone Who Hasn't Seen Them
With the final installment of the Twilight series out now, it seemed as good a time as any to get everyone up to speed on the franchise while doing the least amount of work possible.
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- By Daniel O'Brien
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5 Artifacts That Will Shatter Your Image of the Middle Ages
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- By Kristi Harrison
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