6 Google Interview Questions (And 6 You Can Answer)
"Bucholz?" Cracked Editor-in-Chief Jack O'Brien asked, sticking his head into the door of my office. "You're the smartest person here, right?"
"Correct." I looked up from one of the seven play-by-mail Go games I had going on. "Or as the French would say, 'correcte.'"
"Wow." Jack did a credible job of feigning being impressed, although he didn't make the big showy gasp that I prefer. "We need you to do something for us."
"Yes, you norms always do need help with various odds and ends, don't you?" I chuckled warmly. "Very well, Jack. Make your request."
Resisting his natural urge to slap me, Jack continued: "We need you to write some interview questions for us. You know how Google has those interviews where they ask really off the wall questions to test the candidate's problem-solving ability? Like 'How many golf balls can fit in a Volkswagen?' and that kind of thing?"
"I'm aware of it, yes. But I don't think Google does that any more. I think they eventually realized that it was more useful for their computer programmers to know how to program computers. With just golf ball crammers around, you end up making shit like Google Wave. And, I'd assume, deal with a lot of office pranks involving people firing golf balls out of their assholes. Is that the kind of person we need working at Cracked?" I asked, already knowing the answer.
"If they can also work a spell check, yes."
I frowned. "I thought I wasn't permitted to be part of the Cracked hiring process. Because I'd hire 'nothing but the reddest of the red communists,' I think you said."
"Your Canadianness does alarm us to no end, and you still won't be allowed to meet candidates, or to lay hands on any of our means of production. But we would still like you to draft an interview script for us."
"Because of my great intelligence."
"That is the angle that we're currently coddling you with, yes."
"OK then. It's done."
"Thanks. When can you have it ready by?"
"I said 'done,' didn't I? I predicted what you were going to say before you even walked in here." Using both hands, I massaged my enormous head in the most obnoxious way I knew how while maintaining full, unblinking eye contact. "It's already sitting in your inbox."
____________
That was a lie, but Jack isn't very agile with computers (he still uses both hands to mouse), so I figured I had a solid 20 minutes before he'd notice that the questionnaire wasn't there.
My first thought was to just take one of the many lists of Google-esque interview questions from around the Internet and send that to him. But given Cracked's specialized needs, and the fact that Google is clearly staffed by imbeciles, it was obvious I would have to make some changes. Below I've broken down some of Google's laughably flawed questions and provided new and improved interview questions that are exactly one thousand times better. The questions are grouped into the six categories that all Cracked employees must excel in:
- Calculations
- Puzzles
- Problem Solving
- Lateral Thinking
- Physics
- Potpourri
Calculations
For Google, obviously the ability to carry out quick, accurate calculations would be a highly prized trait in their employees. Our calculation needs at Cracked are a bit more straightforward.
Beyond that, the most complicated calculation we're likely to perform is ordering a list in descending order. Though we can also usually get our IT guys to do it for us in a pinch, or, ironically enough, just Google the answer.
Google QuestionWhat are the first 10 consecutive digits of e that form a prime number?
Any idiot can build a script to cycle over the digits of e, running them through a basic primality test -- I think an episode of Entourage hinged on such a plot point. In fact, this is so easy, I wonder if maybe Google is actually asking about e the vowel.
Cracked QuestionCalculate all the digits of 5.
Anyone who can look at the number 5 and get a real handle on it is all we need here at Cracked, given our low-cal calculation needs. Bonus points for anyone who can put the numbers 1 to 5 in descending order, or who knows why it's such a funny number (because it looks like an S with a massive German forehead).
Puzzles
Presenting a puzzle during an interview is a classic way of determining if a candidate has seen that puzzle before.
Anyone who's seen Rubik, the Amazing Cube cartoon would immediately qualify for a position here as our Senior '80s Bullshit Researcher.
__
Google QuestionYou have eight balls, all of the same size, but one weighs slightly more than the rest. Find that ball by using a balance scale only twice.
This is a fairly straightforward mental puzzle that tests the candidate's ability at logical reasoning, and is not, presumably, related to any quality control problems at Google's sphere plant.
Cracked QuestionIs it possible to have an odd number of testicles in a room, and if so, how would you determine that using a balance scale?
This is a two-part question designed to observe how people react to ideas about testicles. We used to have a different way of doing this that got us in a lot of trouble.
Looking for an answer? For the first half, the correct answer is "Yes." Consider people who have suffered injuries, or people who are halfway through gender-reassignment surgery, or men entering a room while walking sideways when the door violently slammed shut.
For the second half, to make such a determination using a balance scale, you'd ask everyone in the room who has only one testicle to get on the balance scale, and then count the number of people on the balance scale.
Just got the ball problem. Great success!
ReplyWhy do i have to use a scale to weigh the balls? Won't you know which one is heavier when you pick them up? Is this a hypothetical thought experiment or am i actually doing this?
ReplyWhat if the one ball was only one gram heavier? You couldn't tell them apart by carrying them, then.
About the manhole cover question: Isn't there an internal rim in the manholes (yeah, that sounds like the sort of thing you can read here) that provides support to the cover anyway? My point being that even a rectangular cover wouldn't fall through, since the actual hole dimensions would be (or could be) small enough to prevent it from falling however you turned it.
ReplyBut you would have to use more metal to cover the hole while still keeping the surface level, and it seems like it would be more difficult to make the internal rim square, since you would have to either carve away or initially block off a larger section of the pavement. On the other hand, you could put it on a hinge, write "Men at work" on the underside, and you wouldn't have to use the traffic cones (and it would be impossible to forget to put the traffic cone down). Also, because the cover would have to be larger, they would also be heavier, and they're already pretty tough to access. You could avoid all of these problems by making the actual hole square, which would also make the ladder fit better, but it would be more difficult to build (I assume they can just grab a really big drill of some sort for the round holes).
I have a strange feeling if I was given the audio tape deck quesiton, I'd probably look at the interviewer sheepishly and say "We can simply find that through GOOGLING IT, eh? Eh?"
ReplyI would the proceed to think about that job at Kohl's.
How many Ping-Pong balls would fit in the Mediterranean Sea?
ReplyAll of them as far as Im aware. Ive never seen a ping pong ball bigger than an entire ocean, im pretty sure any one u chose would fit in ;)
I thought you were going to say "all of them" because we simply don't have enough Ping-Pong balls, but I guess that's a good point too.
Wow we had that scale question in my second grade class. I miss feeling smart. Andy why did I learn more in second grade than any other time in my life?
ReplyI'm not sure. Why are you asking me?
Everyone deserves good and beauty in lives. A perfect place to provide you with this:---casualchats.c-0-m---. it's catering to people who want to meet like-minded types for no-strings-attached fun. You wanna get laid tonight? Come in and give it a shot, you will find someone you like there. Have fun! =_=
ReplySounds legit.
Manhole covers are round because holes are round.
Reply Hide All See All 5 Repliesactually it's because that's the only shape that is impossible for the cover to be turned and fall into the hole. all other shapes could fall through the opening they cover if turned correctly. score one for my 7th grade math teacher
whoops that'll teach me to read the comments before the 2nd page of the article, i guess i must be slow since cracked says a 4 year old should know that n i didn't learn it till middle school
A triangle with inflated (bulged) sides with also work and not fall into the same shaped hole.
Yes, that's a lot easier than a f'ing circle.
Isn't a circle a triangle with bulged-out sides?
Hilarious. Especially the James Earl Jones/helium question!
ReplyBut... manhole covers are often rectangular. :-/
ReplyWhat? Where? We demand photos!
The Rubik's picture almost made me spit out my pop. I used to watch it, and I only have one memory--two kids about to go over the edge of a waterfall, and instead of trying to save themselves they PLAY RUBIK'S f*****g CUBE to make the gross little purple f****r save them.
Replyi read this as "almost made me spit out my poop." jesus, what an image. thanks a lot, guy.
I dont think bar bathroom stalls have doors
ReplyDrunks usually arent coordinated
(I took the high route and avoided a derogatory gay reference,and I couldnt think of one)
If you couldn't think of one, that's hardly avoiding it.
I got the scale one, but only after a couple logical dead-ends. Took about 5 min, though I'm a bit sleep deprived at the moment.
Reply Hide All See All 11 RepliesAs for the ping pong balls one, I'd be a wiseass and answer "none", since ping pong balls float in water and thus the more relevant question would be how many can fit on the Mediterranean Sea.
Helium balloon still floats up, technically speaking. Relative to the interior of the car, it will move towards the back due to inertia, but that's not what's being asked. I hate trick questions.
Tape decks requires information I can't be assed to look up. Mostly reasonably precise totals of all decks sold vs. estimated failure rates of said decks. Then I could make a guess as to how many still exist. Although the question asks "how many exist", so really the question becomes more metaphysical: if a tape deck doesn't work and can't play tapes, is it truly still a tape deck?
Manhole covers: yeah, that sounds about right to me. Never really gave it any thought before now.
Actually, the balloon would move forward in the car. The inertia would affect the air of the car more than the helium of the balloon, because of their relative masses (air has a molar mass of approximately 28.97 atomic mass units compared to the 4.04 amu of Helium). The air moves backward, forcing the balloon forward.
Physics, yo.
Yeah, physics was never my strong point.
Weigh 3&3. If these are even, weigh the other 2. If one set of 3 is heavier, weigh 2 of them against eachother. Either the scale is even and the heavier one was not weighed that time or one of the ones on the scale is it. yay
I agree with the balloon. Up was my first answer.
Good one on ping pongs "in" the sea.
I don't know about the manhole. Why would other shapes fall through? After giving it way too much thought, I'm going with thatbeing the best choice for standardized equipment. Concrete tunnels were already that shape and sometimes you'll see workers put some sort of exhaust hose on them which are also round.
Tapedecks? Billions?
@river37
You can only use the scale twice. You use it three times.
@racharacha - No he didn't. When you weigh 3 against 3, then you have 3 groups: 2,3,3 and you know which one has the heavy ball due to deductive reasoning. If it's in the two-ball group, simply weigh them against each other. If it's one of the three-ball groups, you weigh 2 of them. If they are equal, then it is the third ball in the group. Otherwise, it is the heavier of the two you weighed.
For the basketballs, couldn't you also weigh 2 and 2? If one side is heavier, weigh those to find the heavier. If not, weigh 2 of the 3 remaining. Then one of those will be heavier, or the one that has yet to be weighed is the heavy one.
For the questions on how many tape decks in the world/how many ping pong balls can you fit in the Mediterranean Sea,I got the same answer
All of them
I need to weigh the balls at least four times for a guarantee. How the f**k did you do that? Ping pong balls one I think you got right. Joey2 got the balloon one. The tape deck question was probably meant to be met with a stupid answer, like "too many." And I think manhole covers are round because that way there's a less air resistant surface. Y'know how they rattle when cars go over them? If they were square they might like, fly up.
I have transported helium balloons in a car and the fuckers refuse to stay in the back seat. This becomes a bit of a visibility problem.
Manhole covers are round because no matter how you rotate them they won't fall in the hole. Any other shape can be rotated to pass through the opening, and fall on the workers below. Mr. Wizard covered this when I was 7.
Magnets. How do they f*****g work?
You are a great writer. Sometimes you remind me of Steinbeck.
ReplyForget the scale, take all the balls out to the google pool and drop them in. The first one to hit the bottom is the heaviest.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesI believe you meant "most dense."
Also, not all balls sink in water. See: Ping pong ball
Galileo tried that once. Except replace "Google Pool" with "Leaning Tower of Pisa", and "bottom" with "clueless Pisan pedestrian, killing them instantly".
Except someone said something on Mythbusters once, so they hit the ground at the same time.
I tried to get out of the Archaic Format Mafia, but they keep pulling me back in.
ReplyJust when you thought you were out...
"At Cracked, however, we do have an ongoing project to devastate the Mediterranean shipping industry (they know what they did)"
ReplyOh man, that made my day! This article is all sorts of winning!
You're all way overthinking the odd-number-of-testicles question. Nobody said they had to be attached to a PERSON, or even come from one. Toss a spayed dog testicle in an empty room and bam, done. Who wants pizza?
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesSpaying is done to females, males are neutered.
I still want pizza though.
If you think only female dogs can be spayed, you've clearly never spent time around the Cracked offices on a Thursday night with the cleaning crew.
"...you'd ask everyone in the room who has only one testicle to get on the balance scale, and then count the number of people on the balance scale."
ReplyI just wanted to point out a possible glitch in this answer: It takes a lot of balls to admit to a room full of people that you only have one testicle, and... well... you see what I'm saying? Also, let's assume every person in the room with one testicle actually does come forward, and it's one guy (or three, or any odd number)... it only takes one guy with three testicles (who may or may not be present) to f**k everything up.
Not to mention the possibility of a birth defect resulting in a 3rd testicle.
I haven't browsed all the comments, but saw solutions to the 8-ball problem that were different from mine.
Reply Hide All See All 4 Replies0. Pick six balls, and place two at each side of the scale. We'll call these AAA and BBB. Compare AAA x BBB.
0.1. If it tilts to either side, pick the two balls from the lighter side FF and two balls from the heavier side GG. Compare FG x GF
0.2 If this balances, it's the untested G ball. If it tilts, we know which balls F are known to be light and the heavy one is the other one on the tilted side.
1. If AAB and BBA are balanced, we have two balls left to compare.
1.1 Pick any of AAA or BBB to be an X ball known to be light and a Y ball from the pair that hasn't been weighed yet. Now weigh XY against XX.
1.2 If tilted to XY, the heavy ball is the Y that was weighed.
1.3 If balanced, we know it's the one ball that wasn't weighed yet.
That's not different from what everyone else said, you just explained it differently.
Oh, and you used the scale 3 times.
Pick any 6, weigh 3 on each side.
From the heavier side take two and weigh them. If one side is heavier, that's your heavier ball. If they're the same, the 3rd ball is heavier.
If your initial weighing is equal, weigh the two remaining balls.
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