The Most Secretly Dangerous Form of Transportation [CHART]
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That "Rocket" car has "Jet" engines.. DEERPPP!!!!
ReplyAlso, where is the Segway on this list?
If you have a truck then you can help women move and when they're not looking you can steal their panties and use them to choke yourself while your dog licks your ass. That is pretty damn dangerous!
Reply Hide All See All 4 RepliesDepends on the dog.
lolz this comment was more hilarious than the article!
shit, I want a truck now...
It was. Shame that isn't saying much. Oooo
Man, you seem to have missed charting about bicycles and scooters. Across the USA, people aim for these, even without us brave bicycle and scooter pilots painting targets on them!
ReplyWasn't the pickup joke made in a different article about moving house a while ago?
ReplyYeah but that was by Christina H so it didn't count.
I own both a motorcycle and a pickup truck.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesDo you put your motorcycle in your pickup truck
Or maybe he tows his truck with his motorcycle
It would totally make my day if I found out he did tow his pickup truck with his motorcycle.
haha on the pick up truck. And I still would like a motorcycle.
ReplyI feel like a few of these entries could be combined into some sort of even more awesome form of transportation.
ReplyWhy not ALL OF THEM?
I still want a motorized unicycle!!
ReplyBesides, what happens to people on Segways when the gyro goes out? They fall and they can't get up!
Do Segways even go that fast? At least when it hits the ground it'll be the segway that hits first, and not your face!
I make charts because I can't write jokes.
Reply Hide All See All 4 RepliesYeah I troll cuz I can't get laid.
I criticize humor to distract from the fact that I have none
I reply to trolls to feel superior, even though I know that's not the best course of action to silence them.
I am hungry and feel i need to eat, therefore i reply to this comment.
I don't know. Rocket Skates have all of those dangers. If you knew someone with rocket skates, you'd want their help.
ReplyIndeed :) Though, probably not to help *move*...
P-Please be CAREFUL, that box is marked-
*foooooOOOOOOOOSHHHHHHHH* *SMAAAAAASH!!!*
..."Fragile." *sigh*
Said in the voice of Darren McGavin: "Don't you touch that! You were always jealous of this lamp."
you forgot to mention what the most dangerous part of riding a motorised unicycle is.
Reply Hide All See All 3 Replieshaha good observation
The gyroscope part...?
Did neither of you read it?
haha!! it got changed! that's beautiful!
So... that was stupid.
ReplyLast one is completely true. I have a truck and I'm pretty sick of people asking me to help them move, as if it's like my duty as a truck owner. I've never scratched my truck, once. All the scratches are from people moving stuff in and out of the bed. I love my truck but I'm getting a car simply because I'm sick of people thinking they can trash my ride because it's a truck.
Reply Hide All See All 5 Repliesohh dude you have a pickup truck? can you help me move? pleeeeaaaaasssseeee
I also need help moving. Lets just say she put up a good fight. Damn couch.
Hi, I live in Australia and could really use a hand moving some old stuff, it'd only take a couple of minutes and i'll buy you a beer after, deal?
Do you deliver to Switzerland? Great! I'll wait for you!
Wow. What's up, typos?
Thust SSC is a jet car not a rocket car.
ReplyIt actually broke the sound barrier btw.
Probably helps that he said it was powered by a jet engine.
Lmao did not see that one coming
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesCors y didn't. YOU ARE OBLIVIOUS.
@eatmealive : FYI, "oblivious" is an adjective... one cannot BE soley oblivious, they must be oblivious TO something. eg: You are oblivious to humour/humor.
@themoonandstuff: I don't think you know how adjectives work. "Dumb" is also an adjective, yet I'm not required to say "You are dumb to adjectives." I can just describe you as dumb. You are dumb.
That is not a truck. Nissan does not make a decent pick-up.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesGMC and Chev all the way
Toyota does...
Dxb105 and RomeoLupara get a beer and somini gets a new toyota pickup as his punishment
a jetpack isnt secretly dangerous it is obviously dangerous
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesIt's not forms of transportation (as in plural), but FORM of transportation. Thats the pickup if you still didn't get it.
A jetpack isn't secretly mythical, it's obviously mythical.
What they showed as a 'jetpack' reallyisn't. It's more of a micro helicopeter, powered by somehybrid turbo-piston engine. Popular Science did an article on it and it's inventor. Still pretty dangerous, but it comes with a built in emergency parachutte.
"Pickup truck"- thats what you get for being an eyesore and drivong like a dick every day.
ReplyHIGH-FIVE DIRK WANNABE!
Oh shit, oh shit! I just read your About DorkDiggler. It really cracked me up!
Anyone else notice that the jet pack isn't actually a jet pack. That's a geli-pack, yo.
Reply Hide All See All 5 RepliesDude, did you mean heli pack?
No, he meant Jello-Pak. That's what his mommy packs in his lunchbox.
no he clearly meant hello kitty sack, thats what he rolls with and don't you dare question him.
Hey pack, you geli?
Yeah, he geli.
3 ton Chevy dually. '85 CK30 crew cab. Nobobdy asks me to help them move, because they're scared of the f*****g thing. The girls I've fucked always ask me if it's like a demil Humvee. It's really not; because it's not armored; but it might as well be, because it has the same engine and tranny as a humvee. Tell you what, that steel bumper is really useful for giving someone a push start, or just straight up demolish hater's houses (for the record, I have never done this, and if you gather enough forensic evidence to prove that I have, your house is next). Also, tow hitch. Whatever you cannot demolish, you can uproot. Nothing is left standing. And I salt the earth afterwards :)
Reply Hide All See All 23 RepliesYeah! I'm a man because I talk aggressively and have intercourse with women in my large automobile!
So you're saying: "please kill me, I'm a danger to all living things within 15 square miles."?
You've never had sex in your life.
Compensating for something?
LOL chevy.
Hey man could you help me move?
Yes, they are scared it. Jesus, either you are lying, they are scared of the psychopath who owns it, or you are actually talking about your dick AND you're lying.
To complete the image that YoungBrave is trying to project, his 3-ton Chevy dually,'85 CK30 crew cab comes equipped with mud-grip tires and hijacker shocks, mud flaps w/silvery women on them, dual CB antennae, fuzz buster, curb feelers, air horns, gun rack, Confederate flag, toothpick holder, 8-track player and a camper top covering a load of wood and a blue tick hound. He guns the motor at the Monster Tractor Pull out at the Exhibition Center and at the Gun and Knife Show. Afterwards, its off to the Chat ‘N Chew for a big ol’ mess of fatback with soppin syrup, taters w/redeye gravy, grits, muscadine, sidemeat w/sawmill gravy, poke, turnip salit and Little Debbie Snack Cakes and Big Red for dessert. Then it’s off to the Piss ‘N Wiggle for some square dancin’ to the tunes of Moe Bandy and Red Sovine. After a few too many Carling Black Labels, YoungBrave likes to jacklight deer with his Cobray M11/9mm Semi-Automatic with a Two Stage Silencer, Muzzle Brake,32 Round Clip and optional Grenade Launcher.
It's just like driving a humvee but without the armor! And the suspension. And the back seats. And the satellite positioning system (damn you non-military GPS!) And the girls who are all like "Wow! A Hummer! I'll trade you a ride for a ride!"
@DemstarAus
Don't you mean "in women with my large automobile"?
This is what happens when a man's penis is so small that it's really just a shallow vagina.
You keep a tranny in your truck? I should think they'd like to leave, eventually.
Well, it looks like FapMaster has completed the list. Somehow it seems it would be subversively fun to have a fully decked out redneck land galleon, but only if someone else paid for it.
@ youngbrave: hell yea!
@fapmaster: I know you meant to be a dick, but that sounds like a damn good friday night to me...but, you missed one thing...all real rednecks drink Jack Daniels ol no. 7...jus sayin...
Thank you very much for telling me about the truck you drive, as it is relevant to my interests. It's too bad this guy doesn't seem like the kind of person to check if he got responses to his stupid post. Too busy fucking.
Successful Troll is Successful
You are the pure essence of manliness. No tiny penis or massive inadequacy problems there.
No, no, no. All you guys are missing the most obvious thing. Go look at his picture, if I'm not mistaken that is a character named "Kid Death" from the Japanese comic book "Soul Eater" (yes, I'm a huge nerd). Now, I'm not saying that some back water, small dicked, square dancing, red neck can't know who Kid Death is, but more than likely YoungBrave is simply a pimply 14 year old virgin from... let's say Arkansas, that has no idea what a real living woman is like. The closest he probably has ever come to sex is that one time have saw his mother getting out of the shower.
"he saw" damn edit function.
I find it odd that macho truck-talkers always find a way to work "tranny" into every statement.
You're full of shit.
1) There's no such thing as a 3 ton, unless you're talking about its curb weight, which is just retarded. When people are talking trucks, the weight they list is the amount it can carry.
2) There's no such thing as a CK30. First off, a Chevy can only be a "C" or a "K" as the former indicates 2wd, while the latter indicates 4wd. Second, the models are 1500 (1/2 ton) 2500 (3/4 ton) and 3500 (1 ton).
and humvees have a 6.2 or a 6.5 diesel which is the smallest diesel u can buy and would barely have enough torque to move your truck
i drive a $1000 jeep wagoneer....ive had sex in it...and it moves....see, everyone on the planet who owns anything with wheels is JUST as awesome as you...so the truck was pointless