Charting Patriotism By the Stupidity of Your Fireworks
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Anyone else notice that only one (two if you include sparklers, but who does that?) of these are actually fireworks rather than explosives.
ReplyI noticed that too, retarded chart is retarded.
not only that but i love explosives and hate america.
this is about as inaccurate a chart as you can get
Where do you rank rockets?
Replyactually in texas i can get an M-80 at the grocery store xD.
ReplyOne more reason why I can't hate on Texas.
What about the M-1000?
Replyexplosives are great and all but nothing beats the combination of firearms fireworks and alcohol and enough ammo and explosives to destroy most of a forest.
ReplyRight, 'cause destroying a forest is totally patriotic and not the insane hobby of death worshipers.
Anvil firing
ReplyI looked up anvil firing on youtube. I think this activity would go well with alcoholic beverages.
Every time an anvil is launched into the air, a terrorist bursts into flame.
FUN WITH EMPTY CO2 CARTRIDGES:
Reply12 gram disposable type= m80 on steroids
20 oz paintball gun type= light fuse and run away...FAR, FAR AWAY!
(For "pretty" destruction, add powdered metals and/or flash powders)
Wow, here in the "Dirty District" some folks set off .25, .5 & sometimes even whole sticks of dynamite. Guess that makes the the ultimate patriots? I, personally, just have one chance a year to satisfy my inner pyro. Really couldn't care less about July 4th. Happy 235 America!
ReplyI was about to suggest this. Nothing beats heading upstate for the weekend and blowing a massive crater into public property. Or someone else's private property. Or an outbuilding, public or private.
I have totally been hanging out with the wrong people.
When I was growing up in the apalachian mnts in PA we lived just below a coal deep mine. We would sneak up there at night before the fourth and "borrow" a couple bags of ANFO(Ammonium Nitrate and Fuel Oil), det cord, and match fuses. Now that was some creative bangs and earth shaking maddness. Ahh the good ol' days.
In Mexico we celebrate our independence blowing out our intestines with chipotle. Fireworks are so mundane...
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesYeah we do that in the US too. Except we don't call it independence day, we call it "Tuesday".
Really? That's Thursday for me.
It depends what night is unlimited wings at the local pub/commercial pizza chain
Sparklers are totally badass when you use one as a fuse, duct tape the rest together really tight, light it up, and toss it in an old stump or random hole in the ground. BOOM!!
ReplyMortars FTW. Nothing else is even close. BTW, a dude blew his head off with one (helpful hint, don't look down the tube).
Reply Hide All See All 4 RepliesNow excuse me, I need to go buy some more shells!
YEEEAAAHHH! Pyrotechniques!
I know someone who made his own mortar. It didn't go off so he looked down it & boom. He still has little black dots all over the right side of his face (he used gunpowder). Everytime I see him, I think of Two-Face.
Six-Shooter: That is Awesome! So, has he turned into a super villain yet? Keep teasing him, I'm sure it's only a matter of time :"Hey Two-Face, stare down any mortar barrels lately?"
@Six-Shooter: Two-Face, or every Loony Toons character ever.
Also, did you get him a silver dollar to flip?
i buy m-80s at small stands outside of the big towns, or even TNT Warehouse, now THEY have some good stuff, everything from smokebombs and sparklers, to the kind of stuff that you could use fighting off a zombie apocalypse, they sell some awesome stuff, bought one thing with like 1000 shots in it...like a f*****g machine gun man, and of course artillery is awesome as all hell, some cousins and mine set off some artillery of the same kind, at the same time, we set off car alarms several houses down from the explosions....great stuff man
ReplyFireworks!!! why the f**k didn't I think of using them against zombies? also you sir, are awesome
Roman candles are hardly blow-your-thumb-off levels of danger. Come on. We used to have Roman candle fights when I was a kid. And M80s as the most dangerous firework? Obviously this person has never spent two months' worth of weekends rigging up a homemade fireworks display in their garage. Mortars six inches in diameter, a couple hundred Roman candles, a few homemade pipe bombs thrown into the mix...
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesNow THAT'S America.
Yeah... this author isn't the best authority on fireworks. Roman candles don't even make you flinch when burnt with them or shot with them. Even at point blank.
No America is an evil economic empire that is terrible for the world and about to implode in itself likely giving rise to various fascist and theocratic factions vying for control of the continent.
Fireworks are just cool.
agreed with hunde
Fireworks are stupid.
ReplySo the M-80 is the top-of-the-line cracker for you yankees? 5 grams of black powder? One of the mainstays of New Years Eve in Naples is the "Maradona's Bomb", a ball of 800 to 1000 grams of powder, often with some extra s**t inside... Amateurs.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesHoly s**t in England a low grade firework (about £20) has 20-30 grams how the hell can you even see after that!
It's bullshit, no doubt, but it must be said that Americans WOULD use anything bigger than this to make pipe bombs out of, so it's probably for the best.
No, the author just doesn't know fireworks.
Not really funny
ReplyOh yeah it's also stupid
YOU are stupid.
come to holland, where they have fireworks for real men!
ReplyYeah, there's nothing like getting stoned and making pretty fires in the sky.
Der... My cousin bought M-5000's the size of a can of soda. ^^; I think their chart is a little off. Not to mention you can buy and light off the actual mortars that go into the air with a huge boom. Where are those on the list?
ReplyHow dare you question the validity of this chart!
I'm going to see a hell of a fireworks show tonight and I can do it while drinking beer on my porch.
ReplyI like those little black tablets called glow worms or black snakes. You light them and they turn into long gray ash turds. I sit in the driveway and light 'em up and they're just fascinating. I used to do drugs a lot.
Reply Hide All See All 4 Replieshaha I love those too!
You love snakes or drugs?
They have snakes that shoot up and hover in the air whilst extruding all of their turdly delight! They also come with half a sheet of acid!
Both, damn it.