3 Steps to Not Sucking at Air Travel [CHART]
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I would be so down with the Red Barron flying my 747!
Replychildish gambino reference
Replyhahaahha
What does "SSS" mean if its on your boarding pass?
Reply!!!
ReplyI'm going to keep my plane-bee inside my slightly inflated balloon. Super inflate...pop...cabin of bees!!
Somewhere a Cracked reader did that bee thing.
ReplyThanks to a recent Caracked article, we have found that there is a 95% survival rate on airline crashes.
ReplyLet the bees and balloons fly !!!
They mentioned Childish F**king Gambino. My day has been made
ReplyWhat about bringing snakes? f**k that "bee" shit!
ReplySnakes on a plane...real original.It's Hornets all the way
The more I see/hear people bitching about infants on planes the more I relish the few times I took my son on a plane when he was a baby. I almost wish he had cried/thrown a fit just to bug the s**t out of all you whiny bitches.
ReplyAdditional screening is "SSSS" Why we call em quads
ReplyHaha. yea, release a bee on the plane and the pilot and copilot will both end up unconscious and the bee will have to land the plane....at least, that is if one can believe Bee Movie, that's what will happen.
ReplyI would punch that bee and the people would me!
ReplyI'm leaving on a flight tomorrow and this really cheered me up. Looking forward to trying the balloon thing and the bee thing.
ReplyExcellent chart, many lulz :D
ReplyI always get so pissed when everyone stands up immediately once the plane lands. I actually timed it with my watch, and I was able to sit for over 15 extra minutes while everyone around me stood, half bent over anxious to get off the plane while it was taxi'ing.
Replyf**king brits.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesWell, I half expected them to be buying all them angry birds games and making the rest of the gaming world suck ass.
Anyways, brits sucking a hefty amount of dick was expected of them. So write an article about how they should suck airlines c**k, well, it wasn't all that unusual.
amen.. f**k those crooked toothed english bastards.
I'm offended by that and I'm american. I think you both are late for your Klan meeting. Assholes. Anyone forget that the majority of Americans immigrated here from Britain, Ireland, Scottland and etc.
Off with his head!
Addenda:
Reply Hide All See All 3 Replies1. Have your s**t together in the security line. Don't wear your lace-up knee-high gladiator sandals, have all of your liquids in a baggie, empty your water bottle, and take everything out of your pockets. Instead of standing around glaring at passers-by while you wait in line, spend that time performing all of these tasks and generally getting organized, so that you can get all of your stuff into bins in a couple seconds.
2. If you're flying with a shady airline, keep your passport, tickets, and valuables on your person or in the overhead compartment in a locked bag. Stowing expensive things under the seat is like asking those shifty bastards to steal your iPod.
3. Control, sedate, or abandon your offspring. I understand that they'll get a bit restless being cooped up for hours, but don't let them run around the cabin shrieking like their heads are on fire. It makes me want to SET their heads on fire.
4. Take a moment to glance backwards before you lean your seat back. If I'm in the middle of taking a drink or doing something delicate, consider waiting a few minutes or asking before putting the seat down. The world would be a happier place if everyone did this.
1 should also apply to check-out lines (what, you just stood there like an idiot for the ten minutes it took for the cashier to ring through your purchases, and only now that she tells you the total do you go searching for your wallet?), while 3 and 4 (being aware of people around you before you move) should be mandatory absolutely everywhere.
It's hard to do 4 if the flight is really uncomfortable and has no leg room, so you just want to go back as far as possible to create at least a little leg room.
Additionally, don't be a crotchety old man like my Dad and think that you should be able to bring your favorite pocket knife that is attached to your key chain through security. True story.
Balloon size = N/A
ReplyFunny, however, I would like to point out that the seat map is NOT that of an A330. This is more looking the likes of a Boeing 757 or an A321..study it!
Replyno.
I don't think it's anything. Why is the lav not all the way back?
Why don't airlines just have a children's section rather than a 1st fancy foo foo class section? Then whinoids who can't seem to understand or cope with the idea that they were once obnoxious children who wanted to visit Grandma far far away can be in their little tranquil stupors for the 3 hours it'll take them to fly from Topeka to Akron?!
ReplyBecause first class tickets cost $1200 instead of the $400 the coach class pays.