Five Surefire Ways to Piss off a Smoker [CHART]
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Those second-hand smoke studies are pretty questionable, anyway.
ReplyI personally don't have a problem with smokers, not in that "Smoking gives you cancer, so you get what you deserve!" holier-than-thou way, but in the "It doesn't affect me at all, so why should I care?" kind of way. But there are two MAJOR exceptions:
Reply1. Walking behind people who smoke. I understand, you need a cigarette, and you have stuff to do. Fine. But do one THEN the other. Because sometimes I'll be walking, and the person in front of me will blow smoke out, not at me, but just out, and then I'll have to walk into it. So frustrating.
2. Don't smoke in front of entrance ways. I DON'T mean don't smoke in front of buildings; again, do whatever you want. But I was once walking into the library. A girl was outside, to the right of the door, smoking. She then turned to the left to blow out the smoke, RIGHT WHILE PEOPLE WERE WALKING IN. Don't do that.
Also, these things aren't even really "smoker" things. They're just "asshole" things. So, in life, please don't be an asshole. And if you MUST, then be one without a cigarette.
I feel the need to piss in the face of every smoker who blows smoke in my face.
ReplyTell us why that is.
Man, I was actually looking for advice to piss smokers off, because I want to get back at them for sharing their disgusting fumes.
ReplyThe best I've managed to do is blast Nickelback at them when they smoke outside my bedroom window. That usually clears them out.
I do the last one because he won't ask for one, he just whines and complains at me about not having a cigarette until I'm ready to tear my hair out so I go ask someone I see smoking for one so I can give it to him and shut him up. But I always offer a dollar in exchange for the cigarette. Maybe this makes it worse; I don't know as I am not a smoker. But the man drives me nuts when he doesn't have one and we are in a situation where he can't just go get some. So yes, I ask for cigs and give them to my bf, and I am not ashamed.
ReplyWhy, exactly, are you not ashamed?
Explaining your motivation doesn't justify the action.
But bars are privately owned businesses and outlawing smoking at a privately owned and operated business is the same as the government telling you not to do it at you'r house.I'm not saying I enjoy smoke in my face but it should be up to the owner whether to allow it or not.
ReplyNahh, it should be banned in houses.
Yes, privately owned and operated businesses that are open to the public, and therefore have to comply with public health laws.
I have found a better way. Ask for a cigarette and then promptly break it in half. Almost 100% chance of anger :D
ReplyYup. That'll get you a kick in the teeth.
I could've sworn the answer was "lighting them with a molotov."
Reply(chuckle from the two guys that got that)
So far it's nine. *Insert witty pun about cigarettes here.*
No, these are completely legitimate opinions to have, seeing as how smokers put everyone they come into contact at risk and feel no remorse for their rampant victimisation of society by way of unpayable health bills requiring welfare and side hand smoke.
Reply Hide All See All 9 RepliesNo you guys are very sympathetic.
Everyone they come in contact with? Sheesh, isn't that a little harsh? We don't have cigarettes blazing 24/7, after all. Besides, you're really lumping people into an undesirable box. Most smokers say "Mind if I smoke", even in a residence with an ashtray in plain sight. They walk 20 feet minimum from the business entrance. Smoking isn't the problem you have with the people you're running into, it's laziness and stupidity; no different than the garden-variety a**hole, smoker or no.
I am in accordance with JaiGuru. There are also all of the emissions that Internal Combustion Engines create and all of the emissions that come from non-renewable energy sources (like Coal) that we dump into the atmosphere constantly. While there are people in the world who are seeking a better way to reduce these emissions, there are so many little things that ordinary people can do. Like, turning off the TV, or Lights in there house when there is no one in the room. Like myself, it may not be the sunniest day out, and I have the four incandescent light bulbs burning in my room while I could just open the blinds to let light into my room. But getting back to the smoking issue. It is rude to smoke around other people because you are forcing them to inhale poisons that they do not want entering there body. It would be less offensive to me if you just came up and farted in my face.
Dear Stephen Cook,
You are one sorry sad selfish person,
:)
@nametoolong above: All smokers hereby agree to quit if all non-smokers who complain about them quit driving. Way, way, waaaaaay more pollutants are put into the atmosphere by drivers than smokers. Try working a month in a smoking-permitted enivironment, then working a month next to an interstate highway then tell me which hurt your lungs more.
Except........in many cases driving is a necessity. Smoking is not.
Stephen Cook : I apologize for stating that you are a sorry, sad and selfish person. I should not let the fact that I do not like the subject matter blind me of the fact that you have demonstrated a an artistic aptitude and I respect that. An attack on who you are is unjustified.
BlackDahlia : Click, Drag, ctrl + C, ctrl +V, then you dont have to worry about having to type out a name that is only 2 characters longer than your own. Well I have stopped driving, since I am too poor to drive a car, i walk to school everyday. it takes about and hour each way and I inhale the emissions from cars and trucks on a daily basis, I am quite sure if I had to work in an environment like that for 8 hours a day, I would puke my guts out and die, much like many of the workers of the diversion tunnels of the Colorado river did when they were building the hoover dam. The two should be stopped, not just one or the other.
"20 feet minimum from the business entrance" ...! Are you f*****g kidding me? I'm guessing you smoke which means you don't really notice or care when someone smokes around you, because I both notice and care, and smokers tend to stand well within 5 to 10 feet and sometimes directly underneath the vestibule.
Oh poor you, people actually come up to you and blow smoke in your face? You people are so self important. You cant even smoke at bars anymore because of you lame fucks who dont frequent bars in the first place.
Well dont leave your house, anything can happen.
Dont leave your house, anything can happen.
Holy s**t that's beautiful. Well done. And f**k yes.
ReplyI love it when someone comes up to you and starts coughing really loudly and pointedly while you're holding a cigarette BEFORE YOU'VE ACTUALLY LIT IT. I just look at them as if they are insane, then point out the unlit cig. Weirdos.
Reply Hide All See All 5 RepliesWould you prefer if they just asked you not to smoke around them?
Yes, (s)he probably would. It's not only courteous, it's honest.
.........and then they'd likely do it, anyway.
That's the weird thing about not interacting with people like a spoiler 5 year old: It tends to get better results.
I'm not a smoker but alot of my friends are, some d!ck came up doing the cough thing and I told him to "F$^k off, with that F$%king Cough before you make people sick" (I'm an Aussie Metal head so that is minimal obscentiy your allowed in a sentance). Serious Smoke is less harmful that viruses and bacteria that your coughing on people.
It's not socially acceptable to publicly shame someone over their weight, age, gender, sexual orientation, occupation, religion or ethnicity. But it's just fine to publicly shame someone for smoking and is, in fact, encouraged.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesThe less I am bothered about smoking, the more I am inclined to quit. The more people harass me about it, the more I don't want to validate them.
Exactly!
However, a Fat person isn't going to make you get any fatter. An elderly person will not make you age, that is just due to time itself and it is universal, until you enter a black hole, or if you move faster or slower. A woman is not going to make you start pumping out more estrogen nor is a man going to start making you produce more testosterone, A gay man is not going to make you felate him and a lesbian wont force unwanting girl to perform cunnilingus on her. A janitor is not going to make you clean up the floor, but everyone expected to clean up after their own messes, Unfortunately, Born Again Christians will try to convert you and they are wrong, and you do not have to pick cultural traditions unless you are living in that specific region, but when there is a smoker in the area, the only way you can avoid breathing in their smoke, is to stop breathing which will kill you, or move from the area. No one can take other peoples space from them and they are going to fight for it, and if being an annoyance to you will get you away, they are going to do it. and finally shame is a great tool to get people to reform. I cannot imagine if I would be where I am today if I did not feel a little shame for the mistakes that I have made.
I'm thinkin' all those pollutants have eaten a few holes in the logic portion of your brain, brah-bro.
Good God! Isn't anyone going to comment on how awesome it is this article is Bioshock themed?!
Replyin the uk smoking in bars is illegal so problem solved!
Reply Hide All See All 5 RepliesSame in Australia, I love it =D
I like it too, and I'm a smoker. Figure that one out!
I think in Australia that would be no problem for me since it's actual more preferable to be outside. I grew up in Scotland however, and in the Winter, the smoking ban made me want to cave some skulls in. And I don't even smoke.
But bars are privately owned businesses and outlawing smoking at a privately owned and operated business is the same as the goverment telling you not to do it at you house.I'm not saying I enjoy smoke in my face but it should be up to the owner whether to allow it or not.
CalebStew1: Businesses are held to different standards from residential properties. In a restaurant, there are certain precautions they have to take when preparing food for patrons, in order to make it a healthy and safe environment. In your house, you can store and prepare food pretty much anyway you want. They differ because public venues are expected to accommodate for the health and convenience of others. I don't really care about the whole smoking issue; your point was just flawed.
I rarely argue with smokers, they are drug addicts after all
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesSo are consistent coffee drinkers, but meh.
and sugar eaters
Difference is that my coffee drinking doesn't put anyone else at risk for heart conditions...when when I do it indoors.
Smoker: "Do you mind if I smoke?"
ReplyMe: "Do you mind if I pass gas?"
Yes, both are legal and rude.
Hey, you gotta do what you gotta do, dude. Just try to rip it in the corner.
at least farting makes a funny noise
I was once approached, while sitting in a restaurant, by a hippy who asked me if he could bum a cigarette. I was in a good mood so I gave him one. "Thanks," he said, proceeding to reach into his pocket. I watched as he extracted a pack of cigarettes, opened it (the pack was nearly full), and then simply added the one I'd given him to his pack. I told him to go f**k himself and give me back my cigarette. He wouldn't. I started swearing at him and was asked to leave the restaurant. That's the closest I've ever come to punching a stranger in the throat.
ReplyI used to pull that s**t in college, but I would find some reason to extricate myself from the vicinity before stowing it away.
While that is a needlessly cheap thing to do, I do know what it feels like to be short on cash, which is why I agree with Sean's point. If you're going to be a cheap f**k, at least ATTEMPT to hide it.
Smoking in a bar is still no excuse. A bar is technically for DRINKING, not smoking. Not all drinkers smoke but everyone goes to a bar to drink.
Reply Hide All See All 4 RepliesBecause drinking is obviously a much healthier option.
Health has what to do with what now?
My property, my establishment, my rules. If the smoke bothers or harms you, you should have determined that factor before you walked in.
There are some health benefits to associated with drinking in moderation. Nothing good is associated with inhaling burning plant matter, that I know of.
I never tell smokers to stop smoking. #1, I'm a non smoker and no smoker has ever tried to get me to start. #2, what rock has a smoker been living under that they don't know its bad for them?....If someone is being crazy inconsiderate then I'll say something, but otherwise, let them smoke. Yeah it's smells, but so do farts. I've vomited over someones fart before.
ReplyPlus in California, smoking is banned inside of most bars and in all restaurants. So thats helpful.
Why do nonsmokers assume we just don't know it's bad for us? Of course it's bad for me, I just don't give a shit.
i don't smoke. but i think people who go out of their way to point out that 'smoking is bad for you' are douchebags who enjoy feeling superior over those who supposedly have less self-control. OF COURSE it's bad for you, everybody knows that. even if some smokers are still trying to think up health-benefits: it kills germs, it keeps them slim, etc.
(but i would appreciate it if in return smokers would stop calling me fat and rave about my 'lack of self-control', because THAT comes of as them trying to go for some 'i may be unhealthy and addicted but at least i'm fashionably thin' rational for their continued bad habit)
Where I live restaurants can choose wether they allow smoking or not. If they allow smoking, they cannot accept anyone -18.
ReplyAs a non smoker, I still go to places where it is allowed, because I hate children.
You must live in Tennessee.
I hate children too!