Cheats for Surviving the Mall: 6 Enemies to Avoid [CHART]
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What, no grocery store?? What the Hell kinda mall is this?!
ReplyMissed a good number of mall patron types, like the teenage line, but otherwise quite nice.
ReplyUgh. ESPECIALLY the stereotypical teenage girls roaming in packs. Usually identified by loud voices,high pitched giggles,and a disturbing number of totoro accesories. Usually found around Aeropostale stores. Avoid at ALL cost!!
@ raygunraven; heeeeeeeey we're not all like that (although we do travel in packs).
1- When you don't want them they won't leave you alone and when you do they're nowhere to be seen.
Replyi wanna f**k Karen
ReplyOh wow that was EPIC! you got the Store Employee down to a T! on duty and off duty! number of people who think I'll remember them 10 min later or what the hell they bought! very very cool!
ReplyYou missed the curling iron lady . Funny list though. I laugh hard when I saw Raiden.
ReplyDude, If I see Raiden offering me free samples of something I'm gonna take one or he will get mad and perform a fatality on me.
ReplyManager Shao Khan: FINISH HIM
*Raiden sticks the chicken samples down your throat, the two hours later you're dying of high intoxication*
FATALITY.
u missed out the most dangerous mall threat of ALL TIME!!!! the man with the clipboard, as Rich Hall one put it "if your dumb enough not to run to the other side of the street or pretend to be on your phone when a man with a clipboard approtches you, your probobly the sort of person who voted for Bush"
Reply Hide All See All 4 RepliesA joke with no context other than something that had no context to start with. Lame.
Agreed, Sean; also, EDDeRs1, please find out how to use 'your' correctly.
Also, Edders, get off Cracked. You're f*****g stupid.
this comment involved politics, that makes it a terrible comment.
...karen is hot...
ReplySGood graphics, not funny though.
ReplyI literaly loled at number five.
ReplyAt our mall the Japanese and Chinese restaurants are on opposite sides of the food court, and they do have a fierce competetion going on with their samples and pricing. When I walk between them I expect to be caught in a hail of chopstick missiles. Then everybody'd be kung food fighting.
Reply Hide All See All 3 Repliesthose cats are fast as lightning
^ That's a sign there are Korean restaurants nearby and they have joined the fray.
The real battle will begin when the one of them is the first to import an adopted panda trained by what appears to be some sort of raccoon
Do you know why Karen bugs you so much when you walk into the store? Do you see that headset she's wearing? On the other end of the headset, her boss is saying, "Karen, do you see that customer standing over by the cardigans? Did you ask him what he wants? Did you find out what he's looking for? Why didn't you talk to him, Karen? Go over to him right now and don't let him leave the store without buying something!" Oh, and Karen doesn't work on commission. She makes $8/hr for the privilege of listening to that a*****e yammer in her ear.
Reply Hide All See All 4 RepliesTruer words never spoken. There's also the passive-aggressive threats Karen's manager drops her on her breaks: "Jenny sure made a lot of good sales today, didn't she, Karen? That's really nice to see. I wouldn't keep an employee around who couldn't close a deal with a customer..."
Just got a job at the mall and you said exactly what I was thinking while reading that article. But I really did like the part "Don't expect her to remember you or your stupid cartigan" haha
You forgot "How are you doing on your weekly ::Whatever piece of crap is BOGO this week:: quota?".
Word. If we don't make our sales goals, our hours get cut. If we fail a secret shopper report, we get written up. Even without commission, there's plenty pushing us to push customers. I apologize to y'all, but it's literally part of our job. Still laughed pretty hard at all of these. The last one especially. I will destroy you if you mess with me on my lunch break, hints my soulless death gaze.
American malls are scary places.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesCome during the holidays; it's 100 times worse
And now they're making most of the strip malls.
Sorry, in the midwest, I really don't want to be walking outside in the middle of winter just because you decided not to connect the stores. We aren't California here.
Basically a post-apocalyptic wasteland full of feral children,Mrs. Field's cookies,and predatorial sales staff. Expect Mel gibson to be speeding through in a dusty interceptor at any moment(probably into a bagel stand)
The feral packs of shoeless kids is true to life.
Replyso i'm supposed to watch out for Raiden?
ReplyALWAYS.
Dude Karen is f*****g hot.
ReplyShe's a cartoon. Venture out of your parents' basement and find a real girl to drool over.
^ Oh, go masturbate.
You need to try a new mall. I hunt for the samples guy, that stuff is killer.
ReplyI enjoyed this. There was a lot of content for an infographic, and the minimalist art worked for the subject matter.
ReplyYeah, except for the fact that unless you work with highly priced merchandise in a department store, you probably don't make commission. Meaning the girl folding cardigans all freaking day does not make any more money off your purchase than the minimum wage she's making.
Reply