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Hollywood has never been afraid to sacrifice realism for the sake of an entertaining story. And since pretty much every movie or TV show features the police in some way, we as an audience get fed a lot of total horseshit about how the law works and how cops operate in the USA. But as most of us are on the outside of the judicial system (for the moment) we usually don't even realize that what we're being told is incorrect. So we just accept things like... #7.
Forensic Science is Magic
As Seen On: The various CSI shows, Bones Typical Scenario: There has been a murder. While the regular cops are all wasting time talking about "witnesses," "motives" and "evidence," the CSI team walks in and gets shit done. Within seconds they find a single hair, scan it with a green laser and discover the identity of the killer, saving countless lives with their ingenious magical science. Hell, the CSI team will even pack up their guns and go arrest the guy!
Why it's Bullshit: First, do you have any idea how much random DNA you are carrying on the soles of your shoes this very instant? A hair from that bank clerk across town, gum from a Pakistani cab driver and semen from an undetermined source are all probably crawling around down there, ready to be tracked through a crime scene. Also, certain laboratory tests such as DNA samples, toxicology and blood reports can take weeks or even months to process, and when they do finally arrive, they are about as clear cut as the plot to The Phantom Menace.
Also, while DNA criminal databases do exist, less than 1/10th of all criminals are a part of it. Having a bit of DNA doesn't mean shit unless they have something to compare it to. That means the CSI stuff is less about finding the killer and more about making sure they have enough evidence to convict the guy they've already pinpointed as a suspect through old-fashioned police work.
CSI is really just another victim of bad Hollywood science, kind of an extension of their "computers are magic" philosophy. It's appealing to think that any problem--even crime--can be stopped cold by nothing but the power of science and human intellect. Add a few dead hookers and an exploding car to the mix and you have the recipe for television success, baby. #6.
The Insanity Defense Lets You Get Away With Murder
As Seen On: Law and Order, Primal Fear, A Time to Kill Typical Scenario: So things aren't looking so great: The cops caught you stabbing a priest, which you have found out is illegal in your city. Fortunately, your lawyer is Richard Gere, and the two of you combine to convince the jury that you are insane, and that the crime was carried out by one of your multiple personalities.
You get off, innocent by reason of insanity! Congratulations, a couple of months at the mental hospital and you'll be back on the streets! Why it's Bullshit: Obviously if the legal system had this kind of Get Out of Jail Free loophole, the prisons would be empty. In reality, the Insanity Defense is attempted in less than one percent of all legal cases, which essentially means that more people have tried to pin their crimes on aliens or their evil twin rather than their own basket case, shoelace-eating lunacy.
Of that tiny fraction where the lawyer was even willing to try it, the defense is successful less than 25 percent of the time. Three states in the US don't even allow insanity as a defense. Then, in that tiny, tiny fraction of cases where the guy "got off" because he convinced the court he was insane, he doesn't get to just go home. You get sent to a mental institution where you don't have a set sentence at all--they keep you as long as they see fit, which may be forever. You're there until "deemed safe to return to society", which according to the American Psychiatric Association is usually twice as long as the jail sentence would have been.
This has always been one of those situations where people simply want to believe the system is worse than it is. We can't escape the idea that the courts are too soft on the bad guys and that guilty people are running free left and right. Besides, what is insanity, anyway? Can't you say that anyone who willingly kills another human being is "insane"? Won't giving these guys a free pass based on a little craziness bring the whole system down? Yes, it would. Which is why the courts don't do it. #5.
Not Talking To Cops Equals Obstruction of Justice
As Seen On: Law And Order, Numb3rsTypical Scenario: The hunt for the bad guy is on and his girlfriend/mother/dog might know where he's hiding. Jerry Orbach barges into their workplace demanding to know where said bad guy is laying low.
They don't want to cooperate with the cops, so they stay silent or develop sudden amnesia. Well that's just too damn bad, because Detective Briscoe says not cooperating with the police is called obstruction of justice and that'll get you a minimum of five years of rapetastic jail time.
Why it's Bullshit: Specifically, the 5th Amendment makes it bullshit. We, on the whole, don't really understand the 5th Amendment, because it has a really shitty marketing department and today is virtually synonymous with fat union gangsters hiding behind it like RoboCop is chasing them. Somebody "taking the 5th" means they're guilty, right?
No, it means under no circumstances can you be coerced into being a witness against yourself. And, since at the moment they speak to you, you don't know if you're a suspect or not, that means you always have the right to not talk to the police. Now, obstruction of justice is a real thing, and it can be charged when you lie to the cops, destroy evidence or otherwise intentionally fuck up their investigation. But simply refusing to talk to them is not one of those things. Note, however, that police do have the right to ask you to identify yourself in many states, in which case you do have to tell them who you are. And you do have to give them real answers (see the 1972 Supreme Court case Nebraska vs Heywood Jablome). #4.
Undercover Cops Have To Identify Themselves If Asked
As Seen On: Rush, Deep Cover, MonkTypical Scenario: An undercover police officer is meeting with a big time kingpin who wants to purchase some drugs/prostitutes in one the biggest drug/prostitution stings in years. It took months to establish the officer's rep on the streets all for this moment... and just then the kingpin asks the fatal question: "Are you a cop?" The officer has no choice but to identify himself as a member of the police force and the entire operation goes to hell.
Why it's Bullshit: This is one of those tension-building devices in undercover cop movies (ie there's a tense scene in the Laurence Fishburne movie Deep Cover where he's forced to answer "yes" when asked the "are you a cop" question, then play it off as sarcasm) but even if asked directly, police officers have no obligation to blow their cover and get shot in the balls. This makes sense if you think about it, since if that were really the rule there would be no sting operations whatsoever. Even the dumbest crackhead would remember to always ask his new supplier if he is a cop before each purchase.
Likewise for prostitution stings where the police pose as customers, then slap on the cuffs as soon as there's talk of blowjobs for cash. No, it's not entrapment, ladies.
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I'm pretty sure the whole reasoning for #4 came from the belief that entrapment extends to this: if you'd known there was a cop there, you wouldn't have done it, so it's really their fault and not yours.
The worst example of this was in an argument I had with someone who thought that unmarked traffic cops were "entrapment," but had no problem with undercover vice or drug cops. Take a wild guess as to which kind he ran afoul of most often.
Funny, number one has become so pervasive that it's even mentioned in my Civics book that people are entitled to a phone call upon being arrested.
For the whole tracing calls thing, I've actually never seen any show or movie where they were trying to trace a call FROM THE POLICE STATION. Every show I've seen where they say "keep him on the line" and then take forever to trace the call has been done from s civilian's phone using tracing equipment, not from the police station. Idk if this would actually change anything but, I'm pretty sure there is a distinction.
Yeah, my dad is a judge, and that Mirandas rights thing is AWESOME. My dad has this case where this one chick got arrested, interrogated, and they didn't read her her rights. So NOTHING she said could be used against her. The girl even pleaded GUILTY and the trial still had to continue because that's how literal it is. You could go on and on in court about the gruesome details of the murder and rape of two babies that live next door, and they still couldn't find you guilty based off of that. I just hope if I ever get arrested for anything I will be lucky enough that no one reads me my rights.
I actually have been arrested before. (Speeding ticket warrant, had to spend a few days in jail.) They did read my rights when they arrested me. They also let me get like 4 phone calls on their own phone and then locked me up where a payphone is, so that is Hollywood fantasy. (One thing that Hollywood doesn't cover is how you get FIRED from your job when you get out.) Screw you Neiman Marcus, I got a BETTER job anyway! Punks!
So that's why they laughed at me.
"today the FBI can track down"
True, but. It's true that they can triangulate any phone by it's connection to cell towers, but this is not a very accurate method. They could for example, tell the FBI that the cell phone is at a train station...most of the time. But they wouldn't even be able to say what platform your on. Different story if your phone has GPS though. accuracy down to probably 15 feet most of the time, assuming your not indoors. Also assuming that particular model phone is capable of sending location information to the cell tower, which many of them can't do (if you have an iphone, though, your screwed). 5 years time? probably 90% of phones. Just like cameras today, probably 90% of phones have cameras & 5 years ago it was pretty rare. I wonder how many phones can have the camera remotely turned on though...
"and remotely turn on any cell phone"
I'm calling bulls**t on this. For them to be able to turn on your phone, it would have to be communicating with the local cell tower even when switched off. Which would mean that they just flat out wouldn't let you take a phone on a plane at all (chances of a phone bringing down a plane are pretty remote btw, but that's a whole other story...hmm I wonder how many dumbass terrorists turned on a phone on a plane hoping to bring it down?). You'd also still be able to hear those annoying mobile noises when your phone got too near an unshielded sound system when the phone was switched off.
"use it as a microphone"
I can believe that they can remotely turn on the mike, but I doubt it's a very universal feature yet. There are probably only a few handsets that this can be done on today. 5 years time? Probably 90-something percent of phones will have this 'feature'.
Also, when talking to someone who is using a cell phone, and there is another person in the room with them, and they talk, what do you hear? Cell phones are not designed to pick up and transmit noise more than a few inches from the actual mic part of the phone. Even speakerphone sucks out loud, you know when someone has you on speakerphone, it sounds like ass and you miss most of the stuff they are saying.
I was arrested a couple of years ago and for the 8 hours I spent in the "cage" at the Police Dept I was allowed to keep my cell phone and use it, including talking to a good lawyer, until being transported to the County Jail. Having been a cop in the same department 25 years earlier, I never made any statement about the events, as I knew that EVERYTHING I said would be used against me. I also know that most cops regularly commit perjury in court to build cases. If you provide details, they will use them to make their lies sound convincing, or trip you with "Have you stopped beating your wife?" style questions. Whether they tell you or not, and most likely not, your statement will be recorded. You have the right to remain silent, so REMAIN SILENT. I spent the weekend in the County Jail but walked with no charges filed as I was innocent (because you get arrested, it doesn't mean you are guilty). I've been arrested 3 times in my life, and never had anything go before a judge. The reason I am still free today is because I knew my rights, and never let wrongful accusation take it's course.
What the hell have you been doing to get arrested THREE times, especially as an ex-cop? While I agree that remaining silent is good advice, I'm not convinced I need to be taking any other advice from you, bunky.
Have you been stealing LOLcats?
nice job getting arrested as a former cop then. multiple times.
maybe that's why he is a "former" cop.
In the example given for the obstruction of justice, the Fifth Amendment wouldn't apply to the people mentioned because they aren't under arrest. However, since they are outright lying, it would be obstruction.
"Fifth Amendment wouldn't apply to the people mentioned because they aren't under arrest". Not true. Your Constitutional rights do not 'kick in' only when you are under arrest. Those rights exist and protect you at all times, even when you are not under arrest. The Supreme Court has decided that the police must advise you of your Constitutional Rights when you are about to be questioned (interrogation or on trial), however that doesn't mean you are not afforded those rights before any of that happens.
Note also that the 5th only protects you from incriminating YOURSELF. There's nothing protecting you from incriminating others if testifying in court (which I think is where the "hostile witness" thing comes in).
And I'll bet that faking your own guilt of something so you can plead the 5th and dodge witnessing against someone else is all kinds of a bad idea. Police and lawyers probably have a good supply of questions to get around that, and if they find out you were taking the 5th for no reason, it wouldn't surprise me if that itself was obstruction/perjury.
YES! You should never talk to a cop, ever. I don't care what their questions is, any answer, even a truthful negative one can be used against you. NEVER NEVER NEVER talk to the police without an attorney present.
"Good morning, sir! It's a lovely day, isn't it -" "WHERE THE FUCK IS MY LAWYER YOU BASTARD?"
Alternatively: "It's a lovely day, isn't?" "Eh. It's a little rainy." "WE GOT YOU NOW, FUCKER!"
You just made my day, Tartra.
I was arrested at 16 in Britain and they had to let me have as many phone calls as it took to reach an adult to come pick me up. I don't know if it works if you're not a minor though. Also, you may get a longer sentence with the insanity defence, but watch Oz, Sleepers and Midnight Express, then watch One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest and Girl, Interrupted; I know which one I'd choose if I had to.
All sorts of atrocities happen at insane asylums; they just aren't reported as often due to the fact that the population often can't report it or isn't trusted. Also: You can't actually find Angelina Jolie in a mental institution. :(
There aren't many institutions like that for the mentally ill in the U.S. anymore. Nowadays, they just medicate the patients and send them out into the world. Only the potentially dangerous ones are locked up - which is usually in a facility indistinguishable from a prison.
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AGREED on the forensics one. I'd also like to add that forensic science is only as good as the person using it, because forensic scientists are only human. Lab techs and scientists have spilled, lost, contaminated and just generally f**ked up evidence for years. There are others who lie about their conclusions or otherwise fudge the results. Also? Sometimes the evidence just isn't there. Fingerprints, blood, semen, hair, fibers, all that stuff can be washed away by rainstorms, blown away by wind, burned away in a fire, or any number of other things.
Another thing that bothers me is all the sophisticated equipment in these shows. Yeah, you MIGHT have the latest greatest stuff in bigger, better funded labs, but it's not always available, and it's not anywhere NEAR as sophisticated as it's portrayed on TV. AFIS, the nationwide fingerprint database, is a very useful tool, but it doesn't automatically bring up a print and exclaim "100% match." It brings up the ten closest candidates, which are then narrowed down by a human being. And what's with the LIGHTING in these shows?? They have all this cool equipment, and then their lighting always sucks. They're looking around with flashlights and crap and I always wanna go "hey guys, why don't you just turn on a light?"
yea. good point. I also read about a case in an article about forensic science where a dental imprint was matched against a suspect, and the suspect was convicted and imprisoned. Only 6 years later when a different (but similar) case was brought up they realized the forensic dental "specialist" f**ked up big time and they sent the wrong guy to prison.. (FML?)
I'd have to do some digging to find it, but there's a study that shows that there's a quirk of how the human eye focuses that says, in so many words, "You've got a better chance spotting a detail with a flashlight in a dimly lit room than in a brightly evenly-lit one."
In the name of the holy f**king ghost the LIGHTING in shows.
FYI there is NO forensic research being done there, shows with those people are COMMMERCCCIIAAAAL !!! and thus do not show the reality in any way.
Beyond the lighting, what's with these awesome computers that make cool ass noises and blink s**t like '100% match' and 'identity confirmed' and 'the guy on the right used to be a Senator from New Jersey'.
To my knowledge, the 'trick' with miranda is that if they interrogate you without reading your rights, you admit everything. Tell them where the body is, etc. They find the body, you go to court. Then you claim they didn't read your rights and now they cannot use even the gathered evidence unless they can prove they would have found it out regardless. (Granted, it takes pretty little to prove this and at best it may extend your trial because after all, now they know you did the deed, no one would let you off)
Law enforcement does not have to read you your rights unless they intend to interrogate you. If they do interrogate you without Mirandizing, then only your confession is inadmissible, as is any evidence obtained as a result of your confession. This is known as "fruit of the poisonous tree" doctrine.
However, inevitable discovery such as finding the body independently of your confession, or an independent source like an eyewitness, is not affected.
The jail in my town gives you a free phone call when booked in and a free call when booked out.
i propose that there is a column like this except for every bs rumor csi spreads. I personally have a greater amount of knowledge about forensic and crime scene investigation than most of my friends, and having to explain to them that csi: miami is complete and total bull s**t is really getting annoying.
Seconded
... and please, please, for the love of god, PLEASE have Chris Bucholz explain that none of the "Hollywood Law" applies in Canada. *whimper*
Now I know one thing is true if you don't know about a law and you get arrested for it, they have to pardon you. This isn't a get out jail free card it's like "Oh I f**ked up? I didn't know that was against the law!" In Washington here they have a law about missing a a certain set number days of school. Now seriously why would you lock up a prone sick child in elementary school that constantly has to goto children's because they are sick all the time? Well I saw it when I went in for this law the second time kids parents even had papers stating he had a disease. And BOOM!!! 30 days juvenile detention. Some laws I call Bulls**t on seriously
Nope. Nope, nope, and nope. "Ignorance of the law is no excuse" is one of the cornerstones of the English Common Law system, the foundation of both U.S. and Canadian law, and is still very much alive and well. "I didn't know I couldn't do that" is not a get out of jail free card - ever.
Mistake of FACT is an excuse, mistake of LAW is not. For example: You are driving down the highway and see a speed limit sign. It says 80 ... but in truth, some pranksters have altered a sign that is supposed to say 60. If you get caught speeding ... Warning time for you. However, if you are driving along and the sign says 60, and you think they mean it's a minimum speed instead of a maximum ... Too bad you, pay your ticket.
As for school division, or metropolitan, rules on truancy ... If the child is so ill that they miss dozens of days of school, the parents/guardians of the child should be in contact with the school already anyways, and I would imagine that a regulation like this did not go through without some publicity. I am also pretty sure that most schools send home a note about the policy as well.
I can't imagine that there is absolutely no exceptions to this, or that there are no exceptions for seriously ill kids. That would make no sense at all.
i have a very hard time believing parents would be punished if it is clear to everyone involved that their child is to sick to attend school.
your story sound more like parents keeping their child home for no reason, and when the school investigates making up some BS 'he's to sick to get to school'-excuse. finding themselves some doctor who's willing to sign of on any sick-note, without further investigation.
I'm so glad someone cleared this s**t up. I'm a bondsman in Florida and I always hear "I'm gonna sue the s**t out of the county 'cause they didn't read me my rights!" .... I've heard it so many times, I stopped telling people that they're not required to.
I hear ya!
You know what's worse? Listening to idiot *Canadian* criminals screech about "the 5th". *facepalm* We have something similar, but it's Section 11(c) of the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms. If they "take the 5th", the judge will add five years to their sentence just for being a dangerously stupid person (I wish).
i have to see one of these movies where undercovers are required to say they are a cop. who would actually believe that s**t? i've never seen that before.
i can't read through all 315 comments on account of my ADHD (what were we talking about?) and the fact that i'm at work (hit Windows key-D now!!), so i hope this hasn't been covered.
i hate when the agents figure out that maybe the criminal could be at such-and-such and then they (usually the two-man team) kick in the door and walk around aimlessly with their guns elevated and pointing at nothing in particular. they separate and begin "clearing" rooms, even yelling "CLEAR!" as they go. (all of this assumes that they actually had a warrant or real, verified probable cause rather than some vague lead, of course.)
any fool who has even a cursory understanding of how SWAT or HRT or any similar team breaches and clears knows that those fools would be dead in seconds had the killer(s)/kidnapper(s) etc. really been lying in wait. a 4-man team is standard and they will almost always breach multiple entrances. and this is after tossing in enough flashbangs or stingers to incapacitate a raging PCP addict several times over.
stupid, stupid, stupid.