7 Bullshit Police Myths Everyone Believes (Thanks to Movies)
Hollywood has never been afraid to sacrifice realism for the sake of an entertaining story. And since pretty much every movie or TV show features the police in some way, we as an audience get fed a lot of total horseshit about how the law works and how cops operate in the USA.
But as most of us are on the outside of the judicial system (for the moment) we usually don't even realize that what we're being told is incorrect. So we just accept things like...

As Seen On:
The various CSI shows, Bones
Typical Scenario:
There has been a murder. While the regular cops are all wasting time talking about "witnesses," "motives" and "evidence," the CSI team walks in and gets shit done. Within seconds they find a single hair, scan it with a green laser and discover the identity of the killer, saving countless lives with their ingenious magical science. Hell, the CSI team will even pack up their guns and go arrest the guy!

His one mistake was having hair.
Why it's Bullshit:
First, do you have any idea how much random DNA you are carrying on the soles of your shoes this very instant? A hair from that bank clerk across town, gum from a Pakistani cab driver and semen from an undetermined source are all probably crawling around down there, ready to be tracked through a crime scene.
Also, certain laboratory tests such as DNA samples, toxicology and blood reports can take weeks or even months to process, and when they do finally arrive, they are about as clear cut as the plot to The Phantom Menace.

"Wait, they're racing now?"
Also, while DNA criminal databases do exist, less than 1/10th of all criminals are a part of it. Having a bit of DNA doesn't mean shit unless they have something to compare it to.
That means the CSI stuff is less about finding the killer and more about making sure they have enough evidence to convict the guy they've already pinpointed as a suspect through old-fashioned police work.

CSI is really just another victim of bad Hollywood science, kind of an extension of their "computers are magic" philosophy. It's appealing to think that any problem--even crime--can be stopped cold by nothing but the power of science and human intellect. Add a few dead hookers and an exploding car to the mix and you have the recipe for television success, baby.

As Seen On:
Law and Order, Primal Fear, A Time to Kill
Typical Scenario:
So things aren't looking so great: The cops caught you stabbing a priest, which you have found out is illegal in your city. Fortunately, your lawyer is Richard Gere, and the two of you combine to convince the jury that you are insane, and that the crime was carried out by one of your multiple personalities.

The man who defends himself has a fool for a lawyer. The man who hires Richard Gere has a sentient nose for a lawyer.
You get off, innocent by reason of insanity! Congratulations, a couple of months at the mental hospital and you'll be back on the streets!
Why it's Bullshit:
Obviously if the legal system had this kind of Get Out of Jail Free loophole, the prisons would be empty. In reality, the Insanity Defense is attempted in less than one percent of all legal cases, which essentially means that more people have tried to pin their crimes on aliens or their evil twin rather than their own basket case, shoelace-eating lunacy.

"No no, it was my brother, Larry Busey!"
Of that tiny fraction where the lawyer was even willing to try it, the defense is successful less than 25 percent of the time. Three states in the US don't even allow insanity as a defense.
Then, in that tiny, tiny fraction of cases where the guy "got off" because he convinced the court he was insane, he doesn't get to just go home. You get sent to a mental institution where you don't have a set sentence at all--they keep you as long as they see fit, which may be forever. You're there until "deemed safe to return to society", which according to the American Psychiatric Association is usually twice as long as the jail sentence would have been.

Hope you like white gowns and staph infections!
This has always been one of those situations where people simply want to believe the system is worse than it is. We can't escape the idea that the courts are too soft on the bad guys and that guilty people are running free left and right. Besides, what is insanity, anyway? Can't you say that anyone who willingly kills another human being is "insane"? Won't giving these guys a free pass based on a little craziness bring the whole system down?
Yes, it would. Which is why the courts don't do it.

As Seen On:
Law And Order, Numb3rsTypical Scenario:
The hunt for the bad guy is on and his girlfriend/mother/dog might know where he's hiding. Jerry Orbach barges into their workplace demanding to know where said bad guy is laying low.

They don't want to cooperate with the cops, so they stay silent or develop sudden amnesia. Well that's just too damn bad, because Detective Briscoe says not cooperating with the police is called obstruction of justice and that'll get you a minimum of five years of rapetastic jail time.

"Starting to remember where your dad is now, Timmy?"
Why it's Bullshit:
Specifically, the 5th Amendment makes it bullshit. We, on the whole, don't really understand the 5th Amendment, because it has a really shitty marketing department and today is virtually synonymous with fat union gangsters hiding behind it like RoboCop is chasing them. Somebody "taking the 5th" means they're guilty, right?

Not everyone who gets arrested is an Italian-American stereotype.
No, it means under no circumstances can you be coerced into being a witness against yourself. And, since at the moment they speak to you, you don't know if you're a suspect or not, that means you always have the right to not talk to the police.
Now, obstruction of justice is a real thing, and it can be charged when you lie to the cops, destroy evidence or otherwise intentionally fuck up their investigation. But simply refusing to talk to them is not one of those things.
Note, however, that police do have the right to ask you to identify yourself in many states, in which case you do have to tell them who you are. And you do have to give them real answers (see the 1972 Supreme Court case Nebraska vs Heywood Jablome).

As Seen On:
Rush, Deep Cover, MonkTypical Scenario:
An undercover police officer is meeting with a big time kingpin who wants to purchase some drugs/prostitutes in one the biggest drug/prostitution stings in years. It took months to establish the officer's rep on the streets all for this moment... and just then the kingpin asks the fatal question: "Are you a cop?"
The officer has no choice but to identify himself as a member of the police force and the entire operation goes to hell.

"It's OK, we actually knew the whole time."
Why it's Bullshit:
This is one of those tension-building devices in undercover cop movies (ie there's a tense scene in the Laurence Fishburne movie Deep Cover where he's forced to answer "yes" when asked the "are you a cop" question, then play it off as sarcasm) but even if asked directly, police officers have no obligation to blow their cover and get shot in the balls.
This makes sense if you think about it, since if that were really the rule there would be no sting operations whatsoever. Even the dumbest crackhead would remember to always ask his new supplier if he is a cop before each purchase.

Likewise for prostitution stings where the police pose as customers, then slap on the cuffs as soon as there's talk of blowjobs for cash. No, it's not entrapment, ladies.

Legally, it can't be entrapment without Sean Connery.








two words for ya (and they do happen a lot on the CSIs) Zoom and Enhance
ReplySomeone didn't pay attention to The Dark Knight!
ReplyOk, as someone who watches tons of Law and Order, I just want to say, I don't think that when they threaten obstruction of justice when people don't talk that they mean it. The police are allowed to lie. The average person doesn't know that they can't be charged just for keeping their mouth shut, so when they're threatened with that, it scares they s**t out of them and they talk. Simple as that.
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Number 3 is why you take the battery out of your cell phone, except to get your text messages at the prescribe time. Also, I am NOT running a resistance cell. If you think I am, you are just being paranoid. I am normal.
ReplyTo be fair, in some states, you really can get off on insanity, and you can go to an institution, but if a doctor says you're fine, then you are set free.
ReplyThe best way to get out of most things with cops is to just not be a dick when talking to them. It doesn't apply to everyone in all situations (if your black your probably fucked no matter what) but for most minor bullshit like traffic stops or underage possesion of alcohol if you cooperate and aren't a dick about it most cops won't really jam you up.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesAll true. I would only add that if you ever find yourself under arrest, the only words that should come out of your mouth are "I want a lawyer." There's never any up side to answering police questions without a lawyer. If you're guilty, the reasons are obvious. But even if you're not, you should still say nothing until you've spoken to a lawyer. Even if you've just got information that might help the police (or have some other good reason to answer questions), you can still do that after you've talked to a lawyer, and the fact that you waited to talk to a lawyer can never be used against you.
Well, I'll say this, thors hammer: I'm black, and I've been stopped plenty by cops. I'm in my 40s now, but back when I was in my teens - early thirties I had a bad speeding habit. I'd say I got pulled over at least 50-60 times in, say, 20 years. You might be surprised to know this. Most of those times I was given a warning and not even ticketed, and most -- the vast majority -- of those cops were white, and treated me with respect. Many of them went out of their way to be nice, even when they were actually writing me a ticket (I once got ticketed two back to back nights in the same location by the same cop).
I'll add to this that I've always driven nice cars. 2 BMWs a couple Jaguars, a Mercedes, Lexus, etc., and I can honestly say that I was never stopped just for "driving while black." When I got stopped, I knew EXACTLY what I was being stopped for, though I could have certainly been a dick and pulled the race card even though I knew I was wrong. The difference has to be, at least in part, that I treated the cop with respect and never acted an ass when I knew I was wrong.
So, while I don't besmirch anyone their own, true life experiences (I'm not an idiot. I know that racism exists and that there are bad cops), I can personally attest to the fact that there are some cops -- a lot of them really. More than you would think -- who couldn't care less about your skin color, and if they do, they know how to seperate that bullshit from their job.
No you're right Ray, cops are people too. They're not more likely to be prejudiced than any other group. Just if you run into a cop who is prejudiced you're gonna get fucked more than you probably deserve. But not being a dick is the key for most minor things, because it usually is up to the cops discretion what they charge you with. I got out of a DUI (I know it was stupid, I was in college, I'm not proud of it) because I didn't argue with the cop and let them do their job, so he let me off with a speeding ticket. Just don't be a dick and you'll probably be alright.
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Reply.
The "insanity as a defence" myth probably comes from the law that makes it illegal to put a person diagnosed as a schitzophrenic or as suffering from multiple dissasositive personality disorder to death.
ReplyYou wouldn't believe how many people think killers keep using the insanity defense. Insanity and guilty by mental illness/however you say that are two different things. People keep confusing the latter with the former and screaming how criminals are getting off and not going to jail because of it, except they still serve some time, maybe not as much.
ReplyEnglish?
Why is there a Rick Santorum ad on Cracked?
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Perfect example for why you don't piss off columists. (google 'santorum')
DON'T GOOGLE IT! YOUR WELCOME.
Most of this is plain common sense except for the miranda rights section. The police must inform you of your rights at some point shortly after being apprehended. The police are also allowed to do this through a written form. Yet, if the police forget this and have concrete evidence against you, you will still be convicted.
ReplyThe part which still confuses me in reading rights is along the lines of "....but anything you do say may be used against you in a court of law".
Reply Hide All See All 4 RepliesI understand that is along the lines of what is stated in the US.
Is that the same as in England & Wales ?
In Scotland, the warning is along the lines of "....but anything you do say may be used in evidence". It does not actually say "against you'
Acvtually in the whole of the UK it's usually a paraphrase of "But anything you do say may be used in evidence, something you may later rely on in court." Kinda goes the opposite way. As far as I know anyhow.
In the UK, part of it is- 'you do not have to say anything but it may affect your case if you fail to say now something you later rely on in court'
Its basically the same, the phrasing is just different. " You don't have to talk, but if you do just know that it is evidence that can be used for or against your case."
In both countries, the warning reminds you that you don't have to answer any questions from the police -- that is, there's no separate penalty for refusing to talk to them (because in both countries, no one can be compelled to testify against himself). The difference between the UK warnings and the US warnings is that in the UK, you're reminded that the prosecution can use your silence against you. For example, if you're arrested for some crime, and you know you have an alibi but you don't mention that when the police explain where and when the crime took place, the prosecution can bring that up later in court to shake your alibi (e.g. "if you were at home shaving your mom's legs at the time your boss was murdered, why didn't you mention that to the police, you murdering momma's boy?").
In the US, the prosecution's not allowed to do that. They're not allowed to use your silence at any point to try to attack your credibility. It's an extension of the right against self-incrimination that the U.S. Supreme Court recognizes but isn't part of UK jurisprudence (yet?).
My husband is a cop and #2 & #3 are things he always complains about in shows/movies. That and how the actors can never hold a gun properly or search a building correctly.
ReplyI'm kind of surprised that he would complain about #3. Every cop should be reading the Miranda warning at the moment of arrest, if only because there's no down side for the police in doing it. If you don't read the warning and the person says something incriminating in response to a question, that incriminating statement can't come into evidence later. Further, reading the warning doesn't mean the police can't ask questions. And they can keep asking them even if the arrestee asks for a lawyer. They can't use any incriminating answers (after a request for a lawyer), but if the arrestee provides other useful information, they are allowed to use that. The 5th Amendment only protects the person who's being interrogated, not accomplices or witnesses.
I hate watching cop shows with cops ......everything is always wrong.....IT'S A FREAKING TV SHOW...take your ass to work and let me watch.....
No wonder I'm always getting calls from the same people in prison
ReplyWhat happens when you run out of thumb downs?
ReplyYou have to ask others for theirs. You can have one of mine though!
I think thumbing up replenishes your supply.
the joker used wnated his 'one' phone call remember and used a policemans mobile
ReplyIs anyone else bugged about those anti-gay ads?
Replyanother thing that should have been mentioned is the whole "breathalizer" scenario. movies/tv/whatever make people think that they HAVE to consent to it when they don't.
Reply Hide All See All 5 Repliesyou consented to a breathalizer (any time a cop deems there is reasonable suspicion to do so) when you received your drivers license.
You are allowed to refuse a breathalyzer test in the field. However, you are then issues a citation ($300 in NY), arrested, and your vehicle is impounded. When you get to the station, you are then given a breathalyzer there that you cannot refuse as part of your booking. It's your call.
You can actually ask the cops to take you to the nearest hospital for a blood test. I heard this from a lawyer recently, and thought it was an interesting fact.
Refusing is considered to be admitting guilt, so you are automatically charged regardless. And while I'm sure you can ask them to take you to get a blood test done, they don't have to and I can assure you they won't. So stop being a dumbass and 1. Don't drive drunk. 2. Cooperate with the cops. Being an a*****e just makes things worse for you.
You can refuse a breathalizer, however they will then obtain a warrant and you are then taken to the nearest E.R./A&E and given a blood test. This normally only takes around an hour and the extra time is factored in when deciding if you were over the limit at the time.
"Not so. The "reading your rights" thing (aka the Miranda Warning) is NOT done to everybody who gets arrested. It's instead a warning for people who are about to be interrogated. That doesn't include you if you were arrested for, say, driving drunk and then peeing on the hood of the police car. They pretty much know what they need to know."
ReplyThere's one more caveat in that. The Miranda is used for CUSTODIAL interrogation. If you're free to leave at any time, but are still being questioned (which is all interrogated means), you do not get the Miranda. If you're in custody (arrested/not free to leave), but not being questioned, you don't get the Miranda.
Well, you don't HAVE to get Mirandised. I've seen cops do it for phone interviews (still shaking my head over that).
custodial interrogation is tricky stuff. most people don't know what it entails. they also think that they can blurt out whatever the f**k they want while in the presence of a police officer if they haven't been read miranda, apparently forgetting that they can use "spontaneous utterances" against them in court because they're volunteering information. oh, criminal law is hysterical.
A lot of it is so the police can watch the assholes that think they can beat the system without accidently catching too many innocent people instead.
What it fails to help is laws regarding Minors.
As someone who's been in hospital this year after a guy tried to kill me, because the guy was 'Technically a minor' (Bloody highschool) all he had to do was make "A sincere sounding apology"
Doesn't matter that if some people hadn't pulled him off me, pounding my face into the pavement like an irate gorilla, I would not have made this comment. He said he was sorry.