6 Life Saving Techniques From the Movies (That Can Kill You)
We expect a certain level of medical farfetchery on television, like how Dr. House manages to keep the medical board from taking his license and setting it on fire.
But this lack of realism doesn't really hurt anything other than our intelligence, unlike these Hollywood medical myths, which could hurt you to death:
#6.
CPR Works When Nothing Else Will
As Seen On:
The Abyss, House, ER, Baywatch, Grey's Anatomy, Chicago Hope
According to Hollywood:
Sometimes doctors have to get up close and personal to keep death from stealing away their patients before they have a chance to pay their medical bills. By straddling the patient, giving mouth-to-mouth and pounding on their chest like Alex Van Halen, a doctor can bring someone back from the brink of oblivion, coughing and sputtering but alive and well.
A CPR gang rape doesn't work either.
The Wrongness:
We're not saying you should never perform CPR in real life--CPR works, sort of, by oxygenating the system and occasionally knocking the heart back in rhythm. However, there's not a whole lot it can do for someone who has already stopped being alive.
Also, CPR is nowhere near as sexilicious as television and the movies make it out to be. A properly performed cardiopulmonary resuscitation usually ends up cracking the patient's ribcage, which doesn't fit so well with a sweeping orchestral soundtrack. And the success rate is staggeringly low, something like two to four percent. In fact, most websites about manual resuscitation will tell you straight out that it almost never works.
Certain death sounds pretty good when the other option is a two to four percent chance of living through some stranger busting your rib cage and slobbering down your throat.
On a related note...
#5.
Defibrillators Can Bring You Back To Life
As Seen On:
Every medical show in existence
According to Hollywood:
The defibrillator apparently allows us to bring anyone whose heart has stopped back from the dead, provided we have at least 75 percent of their remains intact.
"Quick, get the defibrillator!"
With this wonderful piece of modern medical technology, we are able to laugh in the face of death, then spit in it, make obscene phone calls to his wife three in the morning, steal his newspaper and shit on his porch. With science.
The Wrongness:
Have you ever wondered why they call it a defibrillator instead of a de-deather or de-lawsofnaturer? That's because defibrillators don't work that way; they can't bring people back to life. They are a little like Sean Connery: suave and sexy in movies, but pretty unimpressive in real life (also very old and hairy).
Basically, what the defib machines can do is help a patient regain a regular heart rhythm when they go into cardiac arrest, which it does by stopping their heart. Hopefully, it restarts with a normal rhythm. If the patient is already flat-lining, meaning their heart has already stopped beating, using the defibrillator to stop it some more will do about as much good as removing a malignant brain tumor with a shotgun blast.
Imagine your heart is a dude carrying a few heavy boxes, which in this metaphor contain your organs. If he drops them, you die. When you have a heart attack this imaginary man loses his balance and starts swaying dangerously. A defibrillator is the guy that runs over and helps your heart stand up straight, effectively saving your life. What the defibrillator won't do is gather your heart up off the ground if it has already fallen and dropped its boxes, because quite frankly he's late for work as it is.
#4.
Gun Shots to the Shoulder or Leg are Flesh Wounds
As Seen On:
Die Hard, Rambo, Every Action Movie Ever
According to Hollywood:
In the movies and on television, taking a bullet in the arm or the leg just results in you bleeding a bit and limping around with gritted teeth, looking like a total badass. In fact, we're curious why movie cops don't just try slapping gunfire out of the air, seeing as how the subsequent damage is so inconsequential.
...oh right.
The Wrongness:
When it comes to bullets and your body, think less "make a tourniquet out of my headband and gut a few dozen more terrorists" and more "spend thousands of dollars on painful nerve grafts." For instance, a study done on 58 patients with gunshot wounds to the shoulder found that four months after the initial injury, 51 of them were suffering from persistent pain due to vascular damage and about half ended up with partial or complete loss of mobility in their arm, thus reducing their ability to punch terrorists by 50 percent.
If they're sissies.
The leg isn't much better. Due to the tightly packed arterial highway going through most of your body north of the kneecap, any penetrating round in that general area is likely to sever something really important. Without immediate medical attention, shooting someone in the leg can cause more blood loss than tossing a hemophiliac orphan through a plate glass window.
This orphan.
Honestly, if you really have to get shot either to satisfy a bet or cap off a homerun of a job interview, the best place to get hit seems to be the ass. With its layers of fat and lack of any major arteries or nerve clusters, a bullet to the cheeks is your best bet to avoid permanent damage apart from avoiding gunfire altogether.
Interesting, after I read that my fat ass is saving me on the first page, an add shows up that offers me to remove fat from my butt...
ReplyInternet, I now you want to kill me, but please... do better than this.
Just did a quick check around the web; now I remember: they restart a transplanted (and stopped) heart by flicking it gently with a finger (Grey's Anatomy). No electricity. No paddles. So, in that most-worst-case scenario, a true flat-line (duh), that is THE way to jump-start a heart. Also TV doctors use open chest heart massage, which is also clearly a hands-on technique.
Reply#2 - So SAW got it right?!?
ReplyA popular joke in the Boy Scouts, is that the solution to any bleeding injury is to apply a tourniquet to the neck.
ReplyIt's funny how they say that getting shot is a huge deal in this article and in another article they explain how being shot isn't actually to much of a big deal. Oh and they did have to extract the bullets in the old because they were made of lead which would break down and kill you with lead poisoning. Nowadays with bullets being largely made from non-corrosive/toxic materials it's not such a big deal.
ReplyThat came to my mind too, but they don't cancel each other out at all. The other article stated that you wouldn't die. This article states that it will probably give you issues later in life. Combined, they pretty much tell you "If you get shot but make it to a doctor, you will probably survive but have long lasting problems." Lead poisoning is bad, but severing an artery while trying to remove the bullet is worse.
Isn't it so considerate of them to make deadly projectiles out of non-toxic materials?
Gotta bone to pick with your Tourniquet section. I'm a combat medic currently deployed and on the contrary, once you apply a tourniquet PROPERLY (ie, blood stops) the limb is still viable up to 4-6hrs later! That means you have 4 hrs before you have to even THINK about the limb getting amputated. If you have arterial blood, in otherwords, its pumping like a fountain, apply a tourniquet high and tight and haul ass to a hospital. you'll live and the limb will be saved. Unless you're in LA and try and make it to a hospital in Vegas. Then yer new name is Stumpy
Reply Hide All See All 4 RepliesLawyered.
Yeah I saw that part too. Not a combat medic, but I was a Marine, and went through about a billion first aid classes, and they all pretty much said the same thing. Still, even having to lose an arm or leg is usually preferable to death.
The article should probably read, "6 Life-Saving Tips You Should Only Do If You Know What The Hell You're Doing," I think. Agree with you--I'm Navy, but I took the same combat lifesaver classes as Papa4444 did--but I think the author's saying, yeah, it'll stop the bleeding, but it's what you do after the other steps didn't work.
I was right about to make this same comment, but you seem to have it covered. I'm not the medic but ours said that it could even be viable for up to 8 when we did CLS.
i thought the whole putting something in someone's mouth during a seizure was to avoid them biting their tongue off. even if you could swallow your tongue, how is something holding your teeth apart a little bit going to help you from swallowing anything?? The tongue and teeth are both in the mouth but that is the only connection i can see.
ReplyI had no idea that the stats for CPR were that low, my daughter's luckier than I thought... she needed to be resuscitated by my hubby twice within the space of 2 minutes from an asthma attack...
Reply Hide All See All 5 RepliesI once had a neighbor who was a retired fireman. Having just re-certified in CPR, we talked briefly about it. He said he'd personally performed CPR dozens of times, and was successful in saving the person exactly zero times. Pretty depressing.
I forgive the movies for depicting CPR as some wimpy chest-massages, since it looks better to have a real actor than a dummy but not even counting the broken ribs doing "realistic" CPR on a person whose heart is beating is a very bad idea.
Glad it worked for your girl though... I never knew asthma could result in cardiac arrest. Scary.
If she was having an asthma attack, CPR was NOT needed. Asthma affects the lungs, NOT the heart. JFS
It's called cardioPULMONARY resuscitation because it affects the heart AND lungs. Chest compressions for the heart, breaths for the lungs. Although these days it's just compressions.
@Redneckmedic-- Having a severe enough asthma attack can certainly cause cardiac arrest. With a rapid decline in blood pressure- very common in severe asthma attacks, that can quickly lead to problems with the heart. With common asthma, generally CPR wouldn't be necessary but it is very plausible with severe asthma to have a cardiac problem involved.
My grandpa saved his dog with mouth to snout once. She choked on a bone and he had to pull it out and then do mouth to snout to get her breathing again. She lived to be almost 17 years old.
Teddy Roosevelt was the biggest bad ass ever!
ReplyAnd water is wet!
The ass is the best place to get shot? What if the bullet hits your pelvis? Then you die because you listened to something you read on the internet.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesHey, guy with the gun, do me a favor and shoot me in the ass since that's what the internet says is the best place.
I don't think people usually have a choice of location.
What if I want to win an easy bet? Knowing where to shoot yourself would be handy.
Plus, it still doesn't sound like a fun place to get shot. Not very impressive, either.
Given that applying tourniquets was part of the training we received in immediate first aid for any severe wound (gunshot, heavily bleeding lacerations or yes losing a limb) that we had in Army basic training, you've kind of dropped a ball there. It was what we were supposed to do before applying a pressure bandage for any heavily bleeding injury, releasing it after the bandage is properly applied.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesSecondly removing bullets (or bullet fragments) is a top priority -unless- they are resting against an artery or a major nerve cluster. Mostly because bullets are made of toxic metals, mostly lead. When my grandfather was shot by a mugger they immediately wanted to remove the bullet until they realized it was only millimeters from his spine and they could potentially paralyze him digging through nerve trunks in his neck to remove it.
I dont know how long ago you did your BMT, but I can tell they sure has hell dont teach that anymore! well, as of 6 months ago.
From what I remember during my Red Cross first aid training, the first thing you try is direct pressure on the wound. Only if that doesn't work then you should try a tourniquet. Either way, all you're trying to do is slow or stop the bleeding until the professionals get there.
important to note. you were told to use a tourniquet for a few minutes to make it possible to apply the pressure bandage without it turning into a total mess and then take the tourniquet off.
unlike in the movies where they put it on, do nothing else and then have someone 'hanging on' for as much as a whole freaking day. and then tomorrow they are walking around like nothing happened. when in fact after having all blood cut off for that long the leg should be totally dead from lack of oxygen etc.
Tourniquets apparently aren't actually that bad - and even if they were, if pressure doesn't work, a lot of people would prefer losing a limb to losing their life - but pressure should indeed be the first thing you try. However, if there's something in the wound, you don't pull it out (see #1), nor should you press on it. In that situation, apply pressure /around/ the wound.
ReplyHow about the lifeguard diving into the pool thing? While I agree not as dramatic, there are reasons guards are trained to JUMP in, not dive. Most drownings happen right where the shallow end starts to slope into deeper water (usually kids who got excited playing and went too deep), not near the diving board (people who know they can't swim generally don't go jump in the deep end). So diving would not be safe for the rescuer. Second, if someone really did run into trouble in the deep water, diving in makes you take your eyes off the victim, and you'll have no idea where they are when you surface and are rubbing the water out of your eyes. Those 10 seconds can count.
Replyoh I love that one. especially when they are on their tower. great way to break your neck.
the only time I have seen it remotely close to something sensible was a guy that got off the dang tower, used the regular ladder to lower himself about halfway into the water and did a very shallow dive as he pushed off. I can't remember what I was watching but I remember thinking that that seemed more realistic than playing high dive tricks and was probably hella safe for everyone
I would like to defend Master and Commander; when Mr. Spoiler got shot and removed the bullet, that would be included in #1. But lead (musket) bullets cause lead poisoning.
ReplyAlso it had carried a chunk of his (almost certainly filthy, given typical conditions at sea in the early 19th century) shirt into the wound. They were more concerned about getting that out than the bullet.
Woah woah woah woah! I'll be forgiving since this was written 2 years ago and the medical field has since changed, but tourniquets really ARE today's life saving procedure. They're only "fatal" to the limb they're placed on after 6 hours, and most medical situations are meant to be taken care of (from time of accident to OR) in less than 10 minutes. Tell me, would you rather risk it taking longer than 6 hours to make it into the operating room, or bleed to death?
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesAnd not that it's meant to impress any of you people, this IS coming from someone who got out of training no more than 6 months ago. Now, tourniquets are what you do in 90% of situations that have to do with bleeding, that 10% being head injuries (obviously) and inguinal/axillary injuries, though even the shoulder/groin injuries get a hasty tourniquet until identified as such.
Nowadays we really are trained to slap a tourniquet on anything that looks like it's bleeding more than just a paper cut, and for good reason.
So...the same procedure that was terribly ill-advised two years ago is suddenly "life-saving" today? Did the entire human race suddenly evolve and no-one told me?
You are 100% correct. Thankfully there is someone else here that realized Cracked is wrong. I thought I'd have to post a super long informative thing like you did ^.^
'We could apply a tourniquet to the affected part.'
'Her neck would be favourite, then.'
Daviticus: people did more research on it.
Sure, tell me that making girls lose limbs is a turn-off after i ripped up all my shirts for tourinqets.
ReplyConcerning #2: A better choice for battlefield (read: movie) medicine isn't a tourniquet, but a tamponade with, surprise, a tampon to stop the bleeding.
ReplyOf course, the downside would be that Brick PunchMeat, epitome of manliness, has to jam a goddamn tampon into his gunshot wound, possibly a light shade of pink or a robin's egg blue, possibly with tiny butterfly or flower patterns pressed into the side.
Plus, a bloody tampon, regardless of how it got like that, really just icks everyone out.
Brick PunchMeat, epitome of manliness...I lost it. Damn!
The resuscitation rate for CPR has actually gone up to more like 7% (still not great but a hell of a lot better than 2%) since they changed the breath to compression ratio to 30 compressions to 1 breath.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesThey did change it, and it is getting better. And even then CPR is really just to make sure the guy stays "alive" long enough for the paramedics/AED to get there. While the article is right in saying that people rarely spring back up from CPR, it's robbing it of the justice that it deserves.
They actually changed it yet again. Unless it is a child you don't have to breathe for them. It is just straight compressions now. I think the survival rate is now 10%.
Welp, sounds like I need to get re-certified. Sounds like a good change all around -- the toughest part of doing CPR was constantly switching between chest compressions and rescue breathing. Every time having to re-find the right part to press on so you don't break the tip of their sternum off.
I am an intensive care nurse and out of the many met calls we have only cracked about 5% of peoples ribs. Just sayin'.
ReplyI got the impression that they meant it usually cracks their ribs if you don't know what your doing. I'm a cop and I have had to perform CPR a few times but I never cracked ribs but I have seen people have ribs broken by untrained people trying to help
You are correct that the bones should not break. However in older people the cartilage will crack and that is completely normal.
How about real medical advice from real medical professionals? (And I will say right now that some of these points are entirely right, and some need further explanations)
Reply6) It is true that CPR, by itself, has a very small chance of actually healing someone, that's because it's not meant to. CPR is used to keep someone "alive" long enough for the patient to reach the hospital, where drugs and/or surgery will actually save the patients lives. And yes, part of CPR involves breaking the cartilage that connects the ribs to the sternum.
5) Defibrillators are used to treat this thing called fibrillation. Defibrillators stop fibrillation (where the heart is beating in an unnatural and very very irregular pattern, if you could even call it a pattern) by just stopping the heart. That way, the sinoatrial node can hopefully get the heart back to sinus rhythm.
4) Completely accurate
5) Entirely true. Plus, even holding the head down or the arms and legs down can be dangerous, since during a grand mal seizure, the victim can convulse hard enough that if your grip is tight enough, might break their neck or other bones.
2) Tourniquets are only used as a last resort in emergency situations where the patient faces the choice of either living but losing the limb or dying of blood loss.
1) This is somewhat true. Back then, it was better to leave the bullets in, but now, the bullets are almost always removed, and usually without too much risk, and there isn't too much of a hurry to remove the bullets, except in special circumstances (like a bullet to the spleen or the stomach).
I agree with all your points but #2 ... we are now trained to use tourniquets if simple pressure will not stop the bleeding. They are only dangerous if left on for more than 6 hours and if you are facing that then there are ways to still use it and not risk losing the limb.