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The 15 Worst Porno Ideas Possible

By CRACKED Readers October 30, 2008 443,498 views
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We decided to challenge our readers to attempt the impossible: Come up with an idea for a porno so bad that even they wouldn't watch it.

Since we understand that this is no small task, we decided to pay the winner twice as much this week (of course, it didn't hurt that we were paying with Kevin Smith's money). As always, the winner is below, but first the runners up.

#15.


by The Furlinator


#14.


by jerman


#13.


by jerewhit


#12.


by HairyBallTheory


#11.


by Bakudai


#10.


by kravorzlair


#9.


by Hilyin


#8.


by edwardninja


#7.


by link12245


#6.


by Dan the Great


#5.


by Robotman


#4.


by Dr.Macaroni


#3.


by Wibblewobble


#2.


by John Cheese


And the winner is...


by Dr.Macaroni



Congrats, Dr.Macaroni. You win money.


Want in on this?

You'll have another chance. Your theme is:

The Day After the Election... of 2012.

Think about how drastically things have changed since 2004--most of it horribly for the worst. Now just imagine what the world could look like at this point four years from now. How will the world have changed? It'll be after another long presidential campaign, so who will the candidates be? What will be the big issues? Fire up photoshop and show us, the best one will get $50.

If you'd like to see the entries from this week that didn't make it, see them here. Or check out The 2008 Election (As Depicted by 5 Year Olds). And for pictures too strange to make up, but not too strange to make fun of, check out The Daily Craption Contest.

Got an idea for a future Cracked photoshop contest? Let us know.



I would totally buy # 14

7/2/2009 8:32:32 AM
AM9393

If I were the judge, this'd be no contest. Number one would have won in an instant.

5/22/2009 5:14:36 PM
loqutor

I liked 13... and the HSP one. Hmmm... It'll be more successful then HSM, still. :P

And about the Shins of sin one, I remember joking about that when my friend told me that in the old times showing your ankle was scandalous. I said something along the lines of, "That whore is showing her ankles. A stripper!"

12/11/2008 6:29:35 PM
arrowblossom

i think that mccain and bindens penises are toooo big... its an overstatement.....

12/6/2008 9:26:07 AM
color_me_gray

Where's "Schindler's Lust"?

11/20/2008 7:31:15 PM
jdub

hey what the hell is my tape doing at number 1!!!??? I always wondered what happened to that...

11/19/2008 3:16:10 AM
gratefulgroover

Apple Computers in 1997 (as imagined in 1987... hilarious!)

http://www.tokillfor.com/view_video.php?viewkey=e538c0b82b5d1fa0db4d

11/17/2008 7:46:09 PM
dalekiloveyou

They should have one with a hot girl who has a big ass and she is eating cabbage and eggs and a burrito and she farts on my face. Actually that would be a great idea for a porno.

11/15/2008 2:01:19 PM
McDoogan

5,4, and 3 were hilarious. 3-being the most appealing.

11/11/2008 8:45:20 PM
Slightly_sane

I think "Things We've Shoved Up This Blokes Arse III" might be a decent porno, I mean, the first two were pretty good.

11/8/2008 9:53:14 PM
MizPiz

Number 1 is definitely the winner. I'd placed #15 closer...

11/7/2008 7:02:42 AM
vato_loco

No 7 allright hellblade just real short like bambi meets godzilla

11/6/2008 3:04:38 AM
oldenough

shouldn't #1 have been disqualified because it was already used?

Gifts That Might Indicate Your Parents Hate You
by CRACKED at December 27, 2005

11/4/2008 9:35:00 PM
xxxero

best boobies clip ever! who's nailin' paylin! russell brand's firing on the bbc! boobies!

http://www.tokillfor.com/view_video.php?viewkey=bfa4055a7d13cd430dde&page=1&viewtype=&category=mr

11/4/2008 6:42:22 PM
dalekiloveyou

So many winners here... But 2, 1, and especially 12 f**k'd my $#!T up... so, SO disturbing...

11/3/2008 1:24:16 PM
Chojinra

Quote: "Come up with an idea for a porno so bad that even they wouldn't watch it."

What - High School the Porno - Why exactly would I not want to see that?

11/3/2008 1:02:05 PM
RPG

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11/3/2008 10:21:22 AM
paul307

Number one is hilarious. That would definitely be one of the most disturbing things someone could ever see.

11/3/2008 5:46:29 AM
Chel

you actually picked the correct winrar this time. good work cracked

11/3/2008 2:01:00 AM
LeeMalia

PALIN gets PRANKED by Sarkozy impersonator!

http://www.tokillfor.com/view_video.php?viewkey=831ed34ea48cb6e843fd

11/2/2008 10:28:00 PM
dalekiloveyou