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The 15 Worst Porno Ideas Possible

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We decided to challenge our readers to attempt the impossible: Come up with an idea for a porno so bad that even they wouldn't watch it.

Since we understand that this is no small task, we decided to pay the winner twice as much this week (of course, it didn't hurt that we were paying with Kevin Smith's money). As always, the winner is below, but first the runners up.

#15.


by The Furlinator


#14.


by jerman


#13.


by jerewhit


#12.


by HairyBallTheory


#11.


by Bakudai


#10.


by kravorzlair


#9.


by Hilyin


#8.


by edwardninja


#7.


by link12245


#6.


by Dan the Great


#5.


by Robotman


#4.


by Dr.Macaroni


#3.


by Wibblewobble


#2.


by John Cheese


And the winner is...


by Dr.Macaroni



Congrats, Dr.Macaroni. You win money.


Want in on this?

You'll have another chance. Your theme is:

The Day After the Election... of 2012.

Think about how drastically things have changed since 2004--most of it horribly for the worst. Now just imagine what the world could look like at this point four years from now. How will the world have changed? It'll be after another long presidential campaign, so who will the candidates be? What will be the big issues? Fire up photoshop and show us, the best one will get $50.

If you'd like to see the entries from this week that didn't make it, see them here. Or check out The 2008 Election (As Depicted by 5 Year Olds). And for pictures too strange to make up, but not too strange to make fun of, check out The Daily Craption Contest.

Got an idea for a future Cracked photoshop contest? Let us know.




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I liked 13... and the HSP one. Hmmm... It'll be more successful then HSM, still. :P

And about the Shins of sin one, I remember joking about that when my friend told me that in the old times showing your ankle was scandalous. I said something along the lines of, "That whore is showing her ankles. A stripper!"

Posted on 12/11/2008 6:29:35 PM

i think that mccain and bindens penises are toooo big... its an overstatement.....

Posted on 12/6/2008 9:26:07 AM

Where's "Schindler's Lust"?

Posted on 11/20/2008 7:31:15 PM

hey what the hell is my tape doing at number 1!!!??? I always wondered what happened to that...

Posted on 11/19/2008 3:16:10 AM

Apple Computers in 1997 (as imagined in 1987... hilarious!)

http://www.tokillfor.com/view_video.php?viewkey=e538c0b82b5d1fa0db4d

Posted on 11/17/2008 7:46:09 PM

They should have one with a hot girl who has a big ass and she is eating cabbage and eggs and a burrito and she farts on my face. Actually that would be a great idea for a porno.

Posted on 11/15/2008 2:01:19 PM

5,4, and 3 were hilarious. 3-being the most appealing.

Posted on 11/11/2008 8:45:20 PM

I think "Things We've Shoved Up This Blokes Arse III" might be a decent porno, I mean, the first two were pretty good.

Posted on 11/8/2008 9:53:14 PM

Number 1 is definitely the winner. I'd placed #15 closer...

Posted on 11/7/2008 7:02:42 AM

No 7 allright hellblade just real short like bambi meets godzilla

Posted on 11/6/2008 3:04:38 AM

shouldn't #1 have been disqualified because it was already used?

Gifts That Might Indicate Your Parents Hate You
by CRACKED at December 27, 2005

Posted on 11/4/2008 9:35:00 PM

best boobies clip ever! who's nailin' paylin! russell brand's firing on the bbc! boobies!

http://www.tokillfor.com/view_video.php?viewkey=bfa4055a7d13cd430dde&page=1&viewtype=&category=mr

Posted on 11/4/2008 6:42:22 PM

So many winners here... But 2, 1, and especially 12 f**k'd my $#!T up... so, SO disturbing...

Posted on 11/3/2008 1:24:16 PM

Quote: "Come up with an idea for a porno so bad that even they wouldn't watch it."

What - High School the Porno - Why exactly would I not want to see that?

Posted on 11/3/2008 1:02:05 PM

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Posted on 11/3/2008 10:21:22 AM

Number one is hilarious. That would definitely be one of the most disturbing things someone could ever see.

Posted on 11/3/2008 5:46:29 AM

you actually picked the correct winrar this time. good work cracked

Posted on 11/3/2008 2:01:00 AM

PALIN gets PRANKED by Sarkozy impersonator!

http://www.tokillfor.com/view_video.php?viewkey=831ed34ea48cb6e843fd

Posted on 11/2/2008 10:28:00 PM

The Ernest video is just uncalled for. That man defined my childhood. Hence the explanation for how I turned out. I don't get the Larry Bird one though?

Here's my idea. Throw asian women into washing machines and watch them get soaped up? Well, at least it's funny. *NSFW*

http://www.icanhassex.com/content/it_can_be_time_wash

Posted on 11/2/2008 8:41:18 PM

yep, #1 is definitely #1. but why is #7 undesireable? no fisting/golden showers/insert other sick acts, you bunch of freaks!

Posted on 11/2/2008 7:46:33 PM

More Sex


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