Hasbro recently announced a My Little Pony spinoff movie, titled My Little Pony: Equestria Girls, which will hit theaters next month. In Equestria Girls, all of the ponies are transported to another universe where they transform into teenage girls to face the trials of high school life, because without question that's what every fan of a magical universe of talking ponies wanted this movie to be.
"The magic of friendship never changes, except when we change the whole thing into Bratz. Then it actually is pretty different."
The fact that the movie will be impossible to follow because the dialogue will be drowned out by the deafening cheers of a legion of grown men delighting over their favorite ponies finally being blessed with canonized tits and miniskirts isn't the only reason a My Little Pony movie is a disaster waiting to happen.
Picture the three key groups of MLP fans: little girls, "bronies" (i.e., adult male aficionados of the show), and furries. Now, picture all of those people intermixing in the same dark movie theater. It's tantamount to tossing kids into a haunted house full of loud, self-important 20-somethings and terrifying sexual fetishists.
Christina House / Los Angeles Times
"Mommy, are we in the wrong theater?"
It's no secret that a big part of the My Little Pony fan base is adult men -- every fifth message board thread on the Internet devolves into a brony argument, not to mention the 500-percent-funded brony documentary on Kickstarter and the constant media attention these baffling young men receive.
Philadelphia Bronies / Equestria Daily
"Dad, I'll need to borrow the car this weekend. There's a, uh, rugby tournament."