If Everything Had A Gold Card Membership Club

Black cards, platinum cards, sky clubs: tons of dumb things have upgrades you can get. But where are the VIP memberships for the important things? A "Use A Public Toilet No One Else Has" card or a "Have A Spit-Free Dinner" card? You know, shit that really matters.

Like, it'd be great if we had ...

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And the winner is ...

Congrats, sonoftime. You win money.

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