Cracked Archive - News

Capitol-Sieging Yahoos Include Britney Spears' ex, Washed-Up Indie Boy

• By Carly Tennes
• /
• January 07, 2021

Sorry, Twitter! 'Via Getty' Isn't The Name of Lectern-Stealing Rioter

• By Carly Tennes
• /
• January 07, 2021

The Far-Right Siege of Congress -- As Told To The Tune of 'We Didn't Start The Fire'

We lit another fire ...

• By Carly Tennes
• /
• January 07, 2021

Breaking: President Donald Trump's Actions Actually Have Dangerous Consequences

We can do better, America.

• By Carly Tennes
• /
• January 06, 2021

Jon Ossoff Leads Georgia Runoff Race, Could Be America's First Anime Fan Senator

Moral of the story? Scour your Twitter before running for senate, folks!

• By Carly Tennes
• /
• January 06, 2021

4 Underreported Stories Nobody Is Talking About

2020 garbage news we somehow overlooked ...

• By Willie Muse
• /
• January 06, 2021

Man Offended By A Piece of Cotton, The Internet Has a Field Day

*clutches pearls*

• By Carly Tennes
• /
• January 05, 2021

Some Monster Decided To Air Fry A Hot Dog For Two Hours

An experiment for the ages ...

• By Carly Tennes
• /
• January 05, 2021

'Home Depot' Ceiling Fans Recalled As Blades Keep Flying Off, Smacking People

Nope. Just Nope.

• By Carly Tennes
• /
• December 30, 2020

Michael Flynn Now Peddles Dumb Conspiracy Merch on Twitter

Because nothing says 'patriotism' like a profiting off of disenfranchised Americans!

• By Carly Tennes
• /
• December 30, 2020

5 Good News Stories That 2021 May Bring

2021 may shape up to be a happier one.

• By Max Mitchem
• /
• December 30, 2020

10 Strange, Commemorative Monolith Items That Now Apparently Exist

Have $7,495 burning a hole in your pocket? Try commissioning a custom 10-foot monolith, for, you know, strictly commemorative purposes ...

• By Carly Tennes
• /
• December 29, 2020

Boston Dynamics' Robots Can Probably Destroy Us All -- In A Dance Battle

The A.I. apocalypse will now be a dance battle.

• By Carly Tennes
• /
• December 29, 2020

5 Garbage Trends That We Need To Leave Behind In 2021

2021 needs to try harder ...

• By Zanandi Botes
• /
• December 29, 2020

Why Are British Celebs Such Complete Jerks To Trans People?

Why do rich famous liberal Brits waste their time and reputations attacking trans people for idiotic reasons?

• By Mark Hill
• /
• December 27, 2020