Cracked Archive - News
Sticky Kids Everywhere Mourn Loss Of Choco Taco
Those little orange-handed gremlins lost a lot today.
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
- Published
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4
4 5 Perfect Gifts For A Baby's First Birthday
You could give them a onesie... or you could change their life.
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
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- Comments
- 6
Kids Need Toys 'R' Us Now More Than Ever
If they have to do active shooter drills, they deserve to wreck their parents' credit card balance!
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
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- Comments
- 5
All This UFO Alien Talk Comes From One Tiny Self-Interested Group
Newsflash: There has been no newsflash about aliens.
- Authors
- By Ryan Menezes
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- Comments
- 4
BMW Is Adding Heated Seat... Subscriptions
They just paywalled warm butts.
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
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- Comments
- 5
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Dear Hasim Rahman Jr., Please KO Jake Paul
In a time of darkness, our nation deserves a ray of light.
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
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- Comments
- 5
Guy Disappears After His Job Accidentally Pays Him 300 Months' Salary
Is it still bank fraud if the bank was the one who did it?
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
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- Comments
- 7
5 Tips For Fully Dissociating At Your July 4th BBQ
How to celebrate America while completely pushing its horrors out of your mind!
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
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- Comments
- 10
5 Truly Unforgettable Father's Day Gifts To Remember For Next Year
Underwhelmed Pop-pop this year? Here are 5 gifts he'll never forget.
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
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- Comments
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Uvalde Cops Did Nothing Because Legally They Don't Have To (VIDEO)
To protect and serve (if we feel like it).
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin, Jordan Breeding
- Published
- Comments
- 7
4 Ways America's Satanic Panic Never Really Ended
In the United States, the devil never goes out of style.
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- By Edison McManus
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- 16
Supreme Court Denies Appeal Of Rich Gun Dummies
Mr. and Mrs. Yacht Club Rambo are back, and they're still intolerable!
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
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- Comments
- 22
Feed Your Wedding Guests Before You Hire Mickey Mouse, Please
Otherwise, I will begin a mutiny and mouse meat will be the first course.
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
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- Comments
- 17
5 Of The Worst And Weirdest Corporate Pride Tweets
Raytheon Missile Systems says Happy Pride!
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
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- Comments
- 16
"How To Murder Your Husband" Author Murders Her Husband
My t-shirt saying "I did not murder my husband" is raising a lot of questions already answered by my t-shirt.
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
- Published
- Comments
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