15 Ridiculous Current Events That Make Us Yearn For A Bygone Era

By:
15 Ridiculous Current Events That Make Us Yearn For A Bygone Era

Ah, the world of 2023. It's a strange, strange place. A place where Satan's got your back with an abortion clinic, a place where you can shoot down a balloon with a gun, a place where groundhogs are replaced by kids, a place where a Congresswoman complains about her salary, a place where steering wheels can fall off while you're driving, a place where contestants are left shivering in a hanger, a place where election conspiracists get caught committing voter fraud.

A place where a 72-year-old janitor gets locked in a cell with no food or meds, a place where a guy sues a woman for $3 million after she turns him down, a place where people regret voting for Brexit.

It's a wild world out there, and it's only getting wilder. So, buckle up, because here's a list of some of the weirder things that have happened in 2023 so far.

Gillian Anderson is... writing a book of women's wildest dreams?

CRACKED GILLIAN ANDERSON IS COLLECTING WOMEN'S SEXUAL FANTASIES. She's apparently trying to make a book out of women's most intimate fantasies, and it's not a joke. She wants women to share their most personal desires to make it revelatory and profound.

CNN / ABC 

Wingin' it with taxpayer money.

CRACKED A FORMER SCHOOL OFFICIAL IS ACCUSED OF STEALING OVER $1.5 MILLION WORTH OF CHICKEN WINGS. This official, from Harvey, near Chicago, must have really wanted to spice up their life or something during the pandemic. They allegedly ordered 11,000 cases of chicken wings on behalf of the school district without permission.

CBS / Delish 

Oops, looks like we made a mistake?

CRACKED IN THE UK, PEOPLE HAVE STARTED USING THE TERM BREGRET. It describes, of course, feeling regretful about voting for Britain to leave the EU. A poll of 10,000 people in every constituency in Britain (except for three) showed that more people agreed with the statement that Brexit was a mistake than disagreed.

Mercopress / CFR 

72 and locked up with no food or meds, but at least she had... water from the tap?

CRACKED APPARENTLY, DEPUTIES IN ORLANDO DON'T BELIEVE IN BASIC HUMAN RIGHTS. A 72-year-old janitor ended up locked in a cell at an Orlando courthouse for 3 days with no food or medicine - all she had was water from a faucet. The deputies who found her didn't take her to the hospital.

Fox / Best of Life Online 

Safety measures taken, contestants left shivering anyway.

CRACKED NETFLIX'S SQUID GAME: THE CHALLENGE WAS ALMOST AS HARROWING AS THE ORIGINAL STORY. The show's contestants were left freezing in a Bedford hanger, some collapsing due to the cold and exhaustion. Netflix and producers said all safety measures were taken. 218 456

Variety / Cnet 

Satan's got your back with... uh... Alito's mom's abortion clinic.

CRACKED THE SATANIC TEMPLE IS PROVIDING A DEVILISHLY HELPFUL SERVICE IN NEW MEXICO. They opened an online abortion clinic in New Mexico called The Samuel Alito's Mom's Abortion Clinic, in reference to Roe V. Wade being overturned by Supreme Court Justice Alito.

Tampa FP / BBC 

Sign up for the Cracked Newsletter

Get the best of Cracked sent directly to your inbox!

Recommended For Your Pleasure

History’s Horniest King

Alfonso XIII of Spain had endless affairs, tons of illegitimate children (in addition to seven with his wife) and a sideline in commissioning pornography for his own private consumption

Authors
By
Published
Comments
Comments 5
Forgot Password?