13 News Items We Can Only Assume Were The Result Of A Glitch In The Matrix

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13 News Items We Can Only Assume Were The Result Of A Glitch In The Matrix

Ah, the 21st century, a time of technological advancement, political upheaval, and, of course, a plethora of ridiculous stories that make us all wonder what on Earth is going on. From Marjorie Taylor Greene's unconstitutional voter suppression to Chad Johnson's frugal living scheme, it's clear that the world is full of surprises.

We can't help but be amazed at the sheer absurdity of some of the stories we hear. Take Texas, for example, where the punishment for vaping hemp is harsher than for possessing marijuana. Or Mississippi, where the governor would rather give tax breaks to discourage abortions than provide healthcare to mothers. And then there's the UK's environment secretary, who suggests that people should eat turnips instead of tomatoes during shortages.

It's clear that the world is full of strange and unexpected events. But that's what makes it so fascinating. So, let's take a look at some of the most ridiculous stories of the 21st century, and see what we can learn from them.

"Arm the impaired."

CRACKED TENNESSEE: WHERE COPS CAN BE INTOXICATED AND STILL PACK HEAT. Tennessee Senator Joey Hensley has put forward a bill that would let police officers carry guns even if they've been drinking alcohol or taking drugs. OUNTY COUNTY POLICE POLICE

Fox / MSN 

Irony, thy name is CBP.

CRACKED AN UNDOCUMENTED IMMIGRANT WAS WORKING FOR US IMMIGRATION SERVICES. A former CBP officer was shocked to find out he was an undocumented immigrant. Не had been working for US immigration services for almost 20 years and suddenly had to start trying to get the opportunity to stay in the country.

CNN 

Chips-gate: $5 bust.

STEALING CHIPS WORTH CRACKED FIVE BUCKS - WHAT A CRIMINAL MASTERMIND. A guy in Memphis got busted after he ate two bags of chips that were stolen (not by him) from a convenience store. The chips were worth almost five bucks. MESQUITE دين com A TOSTER Tost lost TOO Fort Tost NOT TOS Dstt Lay's lay's S B RUF Fosti OS RUFFLE CHE a e SU Lay's Sund -100m WHS 20% WHILE GRAIN CARDER Fresh SARVEST ت FRESDAR Hill ROLD LD Frito Free Sen GOP OL SAU SUG in - tim Plants Bays 70 StraStitos IO and

Fox 

Gaga's generosity: $0.

CRACKED DOG THIEF SUES LADY GAGA. The girlfriend/accomplice of the guy who stole her dogs - and shot her dog walker - is now suing Lady Gaga. Gaga offered a no questions asked $500,000 reward, but is, understandably, refusing to pay.

Town Flex 

Turnip for thought.

CRACKED TURNIPS ARE THE LATEST SUPERFOOD (BECAUSE OF THE ECONOMY). If you're struggling to buy food, try to get more hours at work and think about eating turnips instead of other fruits and vegetables, says the UK's environment secretary. And to think people complain the government isn't helpful.

Up Day 

Chad: frugal living 101.

CRACKED CHAD JOHNSON SAVED MONEY WITH A SCHEME THAT WILL, GENUINELY, SURPRISE YOU. Chad Johnson moved into the Bengals' stadium in 2001 to save money, and he managed to keep 80% of his salary by not buying luxury items. 5 18

CNN / Fox 

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