Cracked Archive - News

LAPD's Commissioner Getting Clowned On Zoom Was Delightful

For anyone craving a bit of catharsis during all of this violence, trust us, this is better than porn.


'Blackout Tuesday' Immediately Sank Because White Supporters Couldn't Shut Up

Gotta keep those hearts coming at any cost, to the point of metaphysical contradiction.


Shut The F Up About Looting Macy's

How do you compare the destruction of large retail chains to what happens to Black people everyday? I don't know, but people are trying.


Workplace Horror Stories From Famous Companies

Every company has its embarrassing secrets, these are even worse.


Jeffrey Epstein Had An 'Egg-Shaped Penis'

There's nothing wrong with having an egg-shaped penis, like Jeffrey Epstein.


Unexpected Groups That Are Getting Torn Apart By Drama

Small communities, major drama.


Uh ... Trump Doesn't Have The Power To Label ANTIFA A Terrorist Organization

But, if we're wrong, Trump can arrest anyone who politically opposes him with impunity.


The U.S. Riots Were Always Going To Happen, And Chile Proves It

All of this already happened in Chile, from the riots to sexy Spider-Man.


Totally WTF Criminal Schemes (You Won't Believe Are True)

These guys make Joe Exotic look like Joe Boring.


Anti-Vaxxers Are More Organized Than You Think

It's not just soccer moms anymore.


Stop Explaining What MLK 'Would Have Done' To MLK’s Children

Twitter users know no shame.


Monopolies Normal People Have No Clue Exist

These industries, they are dummy concentrated.


Landlords, Can You Not Be Trash Right Now?

Landlords are treating this like an opportunity to live in a porno trope.


Nobody Knows How Wildfire Season Is Gonna Go

How many crises can we deal with at once? We're gonna find out.