Corporations love to lie. It’s simply their absolute jam. You know who also likes to lie? Lobbyists. And wouldn’t ya know it those lobbyists are usually lying on behalf of corporations! It’s honestly one of the most beautiful and natural symbiotic relationships in our stunning capitalist ecosystem. If that symbiosis didn’t exist, you and all your stupid friends and loved ones would probably spend more time together, enjoying your short time on our wondrous earth, rather than buying their shampoo and shiny rocks. 

So take this listicle with a grain of salt. Don’t let the fact that you would need to eat forty boxes of cheerios to see any effect on your cholesterol stop you from starting your day with that funny little bee man! Don’t allow the newfound knowledge that Jaywalking was invented to shame you into becoming a slave to cars keep you from zipping around in your Ford Fiesta. And, whatever you do, don’t stop brushing your teeth (seriously).

Anyway, hope you’re not too depressed to keep reading! Enjoy these 12 delicious mythbusting moments brought to you by CRAP-atilism.

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