Cracked Archive - History
5 of the Most Disgusting Ways People Have Tried to Predict the Future
You’re one burned sheep’s liver away from hitting the lottery
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- By Eli Yudin
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5
5 The German Knight Who Coined the Phrase ‘Kiss My Ass’ Was the Iron Man of His Time
Equipped a bionic hand that was a 16th-century technological marvel, Götz von Berlichingen is said to have delivered the invitation to rim him to a general who invited him to surrender, and in Germany, his name alone is now interpreted as the same
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- By Mike Rampton
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- 2
Five Times Being Dead Didn’t Prevent Someone from Being Executed
That’ll teach ’em
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- By Mike Rampton
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- 5
The Ridiculous Foibles of Five Modern-Day Monarchies
A ridiculous hobby is not a ridiculous hobby when you’re the king or queen — it’s a royal decree
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- By Amanda Mannen
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- 7
4 Child Kings Who Brought the Brutality and Incompetence of a Ruler Four Times Their Age
What if those mean teenagers from outside a 7-Eleven had absolute power?
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- By Eli Yudin
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- 6
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5 Gross Foods We Had to Survive on Before We Figured Out What Tasted Good
It took us a remarkably long time to give up on the idea of a delicious lung
- Authors
- By Eli Yudin
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- Comments
- 17
TikTok Has Discovered When the Alleged Storyville Slayer Called in to Howard Stern
Did he turn to the infamous shock jock to admit to his crimes? Or was it all just a big hoax?
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- By Ian Garner
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- 2
4 Icons of World War II That Are Big Ol’ Lies
That’s not a feminist message. That’s just one factory saying, ‘Keep working, peons’
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- By Ryan Menezes
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5 Times Words Actually Killed
I’m rubber and you’re glue, whatever you say bounces off me and ends your pitiful life
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- By Eli Yudin
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- 3
The Father of Fairy Tales Was Also a Masturbation Journal Pioneer
When Hans Christian Andersen wasn’t putting pen to paper crafting ‘The Little Mermaid’ or ‘The Princess and the Pea,’ he was rubbing himself raw and documenting the aftermath
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- By Mike Rampton
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Five Copycat Crimes a Thousand Times Dumber Than the Original
Imitation might be the greatest form of flattery, but when you’re a criminal who is also a giant idiot, it typically leads to a life behind bars, too
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- By Amanda Mannen
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- 3
5 Fascinating ‘Lasts’ from History
Find out the last movie VHS lovers ever got to enjoy
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- By Eli Yudin
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- 8
The Great 19th Century Freak-Out About Being Accidentally Buried Alive
‘Premature burial’ is basically everyone’s worst nightmare, but back in the 1800s, it was prevalent enough that a whole funereal economy sprang up around it
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- By Mike Rampton
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- 4
4 Pioneers in Crime
This guy was serial killing when H.H. Holmes was just a glint in the devil’s eye
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- By Eli Yudin
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- Comments
- 6
The Funniest Reactions to Einstein Appearing in ‘Oppenheimer’
Damn, they really are getting everyone for this movie
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- By Ian Garner
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- 2
