... only to inadvertently cause the lovable pooch to rise up against his human oppressors with the help of an ever-growing army of strays.

Proton Cinema
"We swear, the neutering wasn't our idea! Bob Barker is the one you want!"

It's like Homeward Bound meets V For Vendetta, with a dog staging a bloody revolution because of his love for a little girl.

Proton Cinema
We're a little disappointed they didn't paint him blue and go full Braveheart.

This is clearly going to be the most adorable tale of vicious maulings ever produced. Despite coming out in March, somehow this thing is only in a limited number of theaters, even though it's an obviously superior version of 2011's blockbuster hit Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes.

Proton Cinema, Christopher Polk/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images
... and with a much more vacant lead star.

There hasn't been a worthwhile killer bee film since the creature features of the '70s -- at best, bees have been a delightful comedic antihero, like in The Wicker Man or My Girl. The new movie Stung realizes that if we're not going to take bees' wrath seriously, we might as well make them grotesquely huge instead.

IFC Films
That'll stop a picnic right in its tracks.

In the film, toxic plant fertilizer creates gumball-sized killer wasps who attack people and presumably lay eggs in their bodies ...

IFC Films

... which then erupt into even larger wasps out of the mangled husks of fancy garden-party guests.

IFC Films
Just like the last episode of Party Down.

Naturally, it's up to the catering staff to save the day from these buzzy goblins as they do their best John Carpenter creature impressions, including occasionally wearing the heads of their victims like motorcycle helmets. Throw in Peter Stormare and Lance Henriksen, two character actors famous for playing the broadest low-key weirdos in film history, and this movie looks like the beautiful potpourri of gore and randomness we deserve.

No doubt you've heard about the Native American actors who walked off the set of Adam Sandler's latest cinematic betrayal on account of it being both unfunny and racially insensitive (in other words, "being an Adam Sandler movie"). Indeed, the line between ironically aping the exploitation of a group and actually making them the butt of a joke is a thin one, which is unlikely to be successfully explored by Avenged, a movie about a pretty white chick plastered in war paint and spearing a car into an uncontrolled barrel roll:

Indigenous Film Distribution
Not exactly the clearest of allegories, but by far the most kickass.

Avenged tells the story of a young deaf woman who witnesses a group of rednecks murder two Native American boys, only to be nearly killed herself. Luckily her half-dead bag of bones is found by a shaman, who summons the spirit of an Apache warrior into her body to exact vengeance. Instead of putting the ghost into himself for whatever reason.

Indigenous Film Distribution
"You do it. I have errands."

This spiritual act leads to a series of brutal Apache ghost-on-redneck murders involving more ridiculous tomahawk throws than Call Of Duty: Black Ops, culminating in a culturally healing tomahawk versus chainsaw ultimate battle.

Indigenous Film Distribution
Now the fact that any action movie exists that doesn't contain that
match-up just feels like a waste of film.

It's a classic Hollywood "cowboys and Indians" tale, right down to the role of the primary Native American being played by a white person. Is any of that culturally insensitive? We honestly can't tell through all the ghost revenge. At least the filmmakers didn't go with the original name, Savaged, which was seriously what the film was titled until they changed it at the last minute.

When you think about it, despite the possibilities of satanic black holes, planet-eating fog, and an evil orbiting Leprechaun, maybe the real horror of space travel is having to live in close proximity with three other people for over a year.

And, hey, speaking of that ...

That's Djimon Hounsou on the left -- a guy you'll recognize as the guy who didn't recognize Star Lord in Guardians Of The Galaxy (and possibly also from his Academy Award-nominated performances in Blood Diamond and In America). According to Reedus, these two scruffy jumpsuit-wearing floor scrubbers are the last two human beings on Earth. As caretakers for the biologically frozen upper crust of mankind, it's their job to await the eventual thawing out and repopulation while maintaining the facility and presumably fighting over the last scrap of pornography in existence.

Automatik Entertainment
Farrah Fawcett's half-obscured nipple isn't worth your life, Daryl.

However, one of the two janitors discovers that the other is in possession of some sort of dark secret, spiraling into what Reedus referred to as a "mindfuck of a movie" where one character attempts to persuade the other into some terrible situation, like murdering all the frozen people, or making another Boondock Saints movie.