And everyone has someone to sit with. You have to have someone to sit with, because pop culture has taught us that only the weirdos sit by themselves, and half the time, even those guys have a friend or two. Even the kids who shoot up the school have someone to sit with. Sitting alone means you have NO ONE. Which isn't true, obviously. It just means your friends don't have that lunch period, or maybe you're quirky and above it all and don't even care that you're sitting on a sharp rock eating your lunch all by yourself. What more do you need when you've got The Catcher in the Rye and a hat? You're all set.
How to Bring It Back
Once you're an adult, find a clique and stick with it.
And by "clique," I mean "friends," and by "stick with it," I mean "Just be a good, loyal friend." Especially to your work friends. This is a crazy thing to imagine when you're young and hot and all up on that text lingo, but once you're a grown-up, those work friends might end up being your only friends that you talk to every day, despite what Friends the sitcom taught you about having adult friends. Once you've got a family and a house and countless crocheting projects to keep up with, you're not going to have time for a Carrie, Samantha, Whoever, and That Other One. So your co-workers become your Carrie, Samantha, Whoever, and That Other One, even if they're boys and they don't know it.
I'm lucky, because my work friends are probably cooler and smarter and funnier than yours. For example, my very first work friend from Cracked was this goofball.
That's right. The one and only Alice Cooper. I'm way older than I look.
Fellow editor and columnist Adam Tod Brown and I joined the Cracked Writers Workshop the same weekend six years ago and we've been buddies ever since. He got me my first freelance writing jobs and I laughed uncomfortably hard when I got to see his stand-up act in person. That's reciprocity, baby. And you don't get it by sitting alone like a weirdo every day. So when you grow up, make some friends. Stick to them. Chances are they're not going to be nearly as awful as the kids you went to high school with, anyway.
For more from Kristi, follow her Twitter feed. And big thanks to Cracked editors Cyriaque Lamar, Tom Reimann, Soren Bowie, and Adam Brown for sharing their adorable pictures.