But there's a twist: Every time Seagal slaps hands, he gets a free punch. And because this is Seagal's movie, he takes a lot of free shots. The one-sided slapfest ends with the big ol' racist bleeding and puking and crying all over the place, admitting he has learned his lesson and blubbering that he needs "time to change." And then the two part ways, each a stronger man for knowing the pain of a third-grader.
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In XXX, Vin Diesel Grinds A Serving Platter To Escape A Sniper
In XXX -- a movie that is not a porno, but does have the plot of one -- Vin Diesel is Xander Cage, an extreme sports star who's recruited as a government spy, because his X-Games abilities somehow meet the rigorous demands of international intelligence gathering. Since this movie was obviously conceived as a 30-second Powerade commercial, there's not a lot of plot, and what little there is revolves around Cage finding ways to incorporate his sports skills into his spy missions.
This includes pointless stunts like dirt bike jumps to escape attack helicopters, skydiving onto a mountain to infiltrate an enemy compound, and driving without wearing a seat belt. But the worst attempt to wedge in the early 2000's obsession with x-treme sports has to be the serving platter grind. In this scene, Cage is trapped in a restaurant by a sniper on a roof. To escape, he grabs a serving platter, blinds the sniper with it, then escapes by using the plate to grind down a nearby railing like Tony Hawk guest-starring on Downton Abbey.
Columbia PicturesThe worst part is that he doesn't offer any James Bond quip, like "Just serving my country."