10 Cracked Posts Everyone Went Nuts Over Last Week - 1/17

"Think of how often you hear someone lament that they were meant for a different period in time. But if they saw what our grandparents and their grandparents had to live with, they'd probably just shrug off any further thoughts of wanting to see Hendrix live at Woodstock."

"Most people assume Bowie sold out because he wanted money, but there's another unconfirmed, yet irresistibly logical explanation: He wanted money, probably, but also to piss off a cigar-chomping bastard named Tony Defries."

"There's an old policy about judging books by their covers, but we can't remember what it was on account of our policy towards memorizing stuff from books that don't have awesome dragons on the cover."

"We don't want to alarm anyone, but there are a lot of shitty people on this planet doing equally shitty things."

"There's also a single word shared by pretty much every language on the planet. It's not a big word. Some have questioned if it is even a proper word at all, but it's one you've uttered in the last week."

"We feel like we know the general history of Christianity: Christ was born, he spouted some stuff about free love and messed with the man (the Ro-man), then bada-boom-bada-bing, his followers rule the world. But there are several chapters too awkward, terrifying, or just plain embarrassing for your average Sunday school teacher to handle."

"Rickman was cast as one of the leads in the stage version of the book Les Liaisons Dangereuses. The play was a hit and was soon adapted by Hollywood as Dangerous Liaisons. Boom! Success! Everyone involved in it became internationally famous! Except Rickman, because they replaced him with John Malkovich."