Think about that: You're home alone, idly watching TV while wolfing away a Hungry Man when boom! Chandler cracks a joke, and you're in for a slapstick-themed demise that'll have grizzled homicide detectives filling the walls of their garage with news clippings and theories as they're slowly driven insane by your locked-room death mystery.
Constant Deja Vu Turns Your Life Into A Terrifying Time Loop
In any movie where the protagonist is lost in the woods (or in a maze, or some alien-infested tunnels) there's always this moment of dread when they look down and see their own footprints from earlier and say, "We've been here before." Now imagine living with the feeling of going in circles all day, every day. No matter what you do, the moment you do it, you feel this jarring sense that you've done the exact thing you're doing and that you're living in a goddamned time loop. It's kind of like Groundhog Day, only without the gift of knowing what's coming -- only after you experience the thing do you say, "Yep, I now remember doing this exact same thing."
If you're anything like us, your next question should be: "How did I die, and precisely how do I move on from this Purgatory I've been sentenced to?" But for one 23-year-old Brit, the half-assed Shyamalan script described above is harsh, confusing reality. He's otherwise healthy and displays no neurological difficulties but has a constant sense of deja vu. Researchers think it may somehow be due to anxiety, and it has certainly made his existence pretty damn anxious. Deja vu, as you experience it, is just a momentary glitch where your brain tells you that something you've just seen is actually being fed to you by your long-term memory. It feels weird for five seconds and then you move on. This guy can't.
Oh, and this has been going on since freaking 2007, gradually causing him to drop out of university and thoroughly wrecking his life. He has even had a "deja vu of a deja vu" experience -- he tried to get his hair cut, only to deja vu hard about the barber shop, and then Inception that shit into a double deja vu experience ("I remember doing this before, and feeling like I had done it before").
The condition is rare, to the point of being almost unheard of ... for now. Since the man's story came out in early 2015, other people with similar symptoms have started coming forward. Until slowly all of us will realize that we're all living our lives over and over, in a repeating cycle of circular time, with no escape.
Ready for more reasons to never leave the house? Check out the boner-inducing spider in The 6 Deadliest Creatures (That Can Fit In Your Shoe). Or if you need more reasons not to trust your own body, read 5 Mind-Blowing Ways Your Senses Lie To You Every Day.
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