Wynona's got herself a big, brown ... WHAT THE GARDEN-DECIMATING f**k?
Reigning from the lowlands of South America, the biggest recorded example of these mega-hamsters weighed in at a livestock-worthy 232 pounds. And though they're not the most intimidating creature in the jungle, their continuously growing teeth, combined with the fact that they can be found traveling in packs of up to 100, will make you sincerely hope they never find out about that time you accidentally mummified the class gerbil by refilling his water bottle exactly never.
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"For General Fleecyshanks!"
Proving that not even an incessant flow of human-head-sized turds can dissuade people from trying to turn every goddamn thing into a pet, there are those who've done exactly that with capybaras -- even though they are illegal in many places, are prone to scurvy, will chew anything they find into kindling, and have a tendency to launch ass-scented hairs from their anal glands at the slightest provocation. And, in a turn of events that we're sure is in no way related to that ass-hair thing, there's a distinct possibility that Florida may soon be overrun with these guinea pigs the size of a Buick. The Syfy original movie practically writes itself.