A Cambodian Couple Split Their Assets
Last year, in Cambodia's rural village of Phnom Penh a couple ended their 18 years of marriage because Moeun, the husband, has suspected for years that his wife was screwing around with the local cop. So like a reasonable couple they talked over their differences and then at some point Moeun decided to fucking cut their house in half.
"Actually, I'm gonna need something a little bigger."
Moeun and his relatives showed up equipped with lots of saws, and we're guessing even more alcohol, and cut the bastard neatly in two. We're guessing if you were to rewind about two hours you'd find said man and relatives in a bar, just sort of drunk, when one of them says, "You know what you should do... " There's laughter, but then about 15 Cambodian beers later, the idea comes up again. This time, less laughter and more angry agreement. We figure about an hour later, they were loading up their chainsaws.
"This is such a great fucking idea!"
And once they got started they really couldn't quit without looking like even bigger assholes, so they completed the job and carried Moeun's share of the house--which, should be noted, is utterly useless without the other half to keep the rain out--back to his parents' place. We can only thank God the couple didn't have kids.
Wow, something this insane can only happen in Cambodia, right, guys? Oh, wait, a guy in Germany did the exact same thing.
A Brooklyn Couple VS. Wacky Judge
So is there an American story that tops them both? We believe so.
While filing for divorce, citing physical and mental abuse, the aspiring-to-be-ex Mrs. Chana Taub hit a roadblock when the judge dismissed the entire case, based on what appears to be the fact that the couple were already living out an 80s sitcom plot device. You know, where the feuding couple decides to draw a line down the middle of their house, then a series of wacky hijinks ensue while they try to sabotage each other?
Only in this case instead of a line, it was a wall built down the center of the three-story home. And we don't mean some kind of temporary thing to teach them a lesson, but an actual wall of plywood and sheetrock through the middle of their Brooklyn residence.
See that white separation wall in the back? Yeah. This is retarded.
What's more, it wasn't even their idea. An earlier judge had ordered the wall built, after both husband and wife refused to move out (this was presumably the first case in U.S. history to cite an episode of The Facts of Life as its basis). We note that the judge gave the wife the kitchen and the husband the dining room, which would seem like he was trying to set up some kind of wacky/romantic reconciliation dinner. You know, except for the big goddamned wall separating them.