Cracked.com Top Picks

Cracked.com Top Picks

Some of the best stuff from around the web and the Cracked.com Mirth Canal.

05.29.2009

Oh Drunk-O-Vision! You say what we're all drinking .... er, thinking.

One man's (insane) quest to recreate the gameplay of Tie Fighter in MS Paint is your entertainment for the afternoon.
Thanks to Nktalloth in the Mirth Canal.

Come on down to Cleveland town, everyone!

Mindi Smith is like if dreams were made out of boobs. And if those dreams came true. And then someone took pictures. She's attractive, is what we're saying.

Find 10 hangover cures that almost work.

Luigi's finally had enough.

You still have time to put this song in Transformers 2, Michael Bay. Make it happen.

The Top 10 Most Hated Music Genres (of course Rap Rock is on there).
Thanks to Yugosakimi in the Mirth Canal.

Taste the Magic!

This is a video of women taking their clothes off.

Ghetto Fabulous Prom Photos.

Click here to watch Hot Sluts. It's not the kind you;re thinking of, but it is still awesome.

Ever wonder how to tell if a woman has fake boobs? No? Oh. Well, click here anyway.

And finally, your insane Wikipedia page of the day: List of Japanese Cooking Utensils


05.26.2009

9 Awesome Graduation Speeches

This Week In Unnecessary Censorship (VIDEO)

Awesome Art Made of Everyday Objects

Build something ridiculous, become famous, make our advertisers happy

Expensive Nudes: The 10 Most Valuable Naked Women of All Time

Sex Face or Sports Face

"So to make a little extra money I decided to get into dog fighting. I don't think I'm doing it right."
Thanks to Mortal Wombat.

Robot Chicken Balls Montage

Check Your Nuts: Another Amazing Indian Music Video

Gilette Tells You How to Shave Your Groin

Morgan Freeman. As Dracula. Taking a bath

They still have racially segregated proms in Georgia.
Thanks to Disco Stu.

Seana Mitchell's name is one letter off from being that of a man. Her boobs are many more letters off from being those of a man...

10 Famous Men With One Ball

10 Summer Beer Cocktails That Don't Suck

Your Insane Wikipedia Page of the Day: Special Atomic Demolition Munition


05.22.2009

Accurate Commencement Program

How weed got to America: Explanation courtesy of Showtime's 'Weeds'

The Recession Is Hitting Everyone: 5 Pics

The Next 10 Celebrities to Get a Porn Offer: Now that we've got Miss California out of the way ...

Ikea Instruction Manual For Hiding Your Girlfriend's Dog You Accidentally Killed

10 Classic Comedy Scenes from between 1987-1996

Maybe you shouldn't smoke there ...
Thanks to Sa9jev.

Family Guy: As okay as your face

5 Elevator Pranks

15 Reasons Men Die Before Women

Half of you are going to try this next time you get the opportunity, and all of you are going to hurt yourselves

The Worst Animations in History
Thanks to P-Frank.

Sasha Grey is a sexy teacher by day, and walks around in her underwear a lot by night

David Wain teaches you how to get the girl

The history of the laser is, not surprisingly, pretty awesome.

Your Insane Wikipedia Page of the Day: Quickfire: More proof that old-timey justice was fucking terrifying.


05.19.2009

Odd Names for Animal Groupings: Murder of Crows is not even the best band name on the list

Sunny D Boarding And Other Pop Culture Torture Methods

Escape from Scientology Land (Flash Game)

The Slumdog Price is Right: Come on down... to India!

Mock Facebook account for the character of *blank* Shepard from Mass Effect
Thanks to Finlander.

Never Put Your Easily Excitable Son in the Christmas Card Photo (PIC)

Barack Obama is Cliff Huxtable

Cool Artwork Interpreting Shows From Your Childhood

...And the Corresponding 11 Pieces of Video Game Wall Art

How to stretch out the question and answer to "Budapest is the capital of what country" into 3 minutes of gargantuan failure

An intricate, 3 year long prank on a stranger
Thanks to Demos182.

Jaclyn Denice is either a bikini model or she has the world's most persistent stalker

Who would win in a world wide bar fight?

OK, either Megan Fox is a damn genius or something terrible has happened in her brain.

Your Insane Wikipedia Page of the Day: Larry Walters had the simultaneously coolest and stupidest idea in the history of flight.


05.15.2009

Wolverine in 30 Seconds

Matthew Fox And Jimmy Kimmel's Staring Contest Ends With Awkward Shower Scene, Broken Limbs

Great Moments in Failed Sobriety Tests

9 Awkward Movies To Watch on a Date

If only all slushee commercials were this good

Ejaculation Etiquette

Autumn Reeser is that hot chick from that one thing you saw once

10 Sexiest Movie Strippers

An authentic karaoke experience without the watered-down martinis or lonely people.

When you feel like we do about cheeseburgers, this site is basically pornography
Thanks to Tim.

Holy crappy acting, Batman! Adam West vs Laughing Gas

Our favorite comic yells at children
Thanks to porkchpsandwch.

What's more RAWK! than staring a fire with headbanging? Apparently everything

Real Archaelogist Digs Up Fact, Fiction of 'Angels & Demons'

And the Star Wars backlash begins ....NOW (Spoilers)

Your Insane Wikipedia Page of the Day: Mary's Room: A thought experiment to blow your mind


05.12.2009

Talking Heads OK With Torture, Not OK With Wanda Sykes

Bill Cosby impressions are like assholes: Everybody’s got a really shitty one and they're far more likely to show them off on the internet.

“This dance isn’t very safe AT ALL…”

Baby Preachers That Scare Us

FUrL: The other side of classic FMLs

Fucking with random strangers around the globe via Omegle is more fun than you'd expect
Thanks to Itrade.

Worst Day Ever: If you ever find yourself in this particular situation, just kiss your ass goodbye.

The hero we need, but not the hero we SERVED FOOL!

WWE's The Rock sings about pie
Thanks to nchammer326 .

Classic Sitcom Themes: Fill in the Blank

8-bit Grand Theft Auto meets Burger Time

The Top 10 Secret Atheists

Christina Stefanidi probably added that di so she wouldn't have two first names. Also, she is attractive.

How to get away from it all (including the feds)

Even creepier than these: the guy behind the counter.

Your Insane Wikipedia Page of the Day: Traumatic insemination: Human females don't know how good they have it


05.08.2009

Conan O'Brien Wants You Computer Nerds to Know, He Understands The Internet

That’s Demetri Martin in a nutshell, all right…

The unluckiest game show contestant

My Little Pony: Live-Action Michael Bay Trailer
Thanks to Sa9jev.

Biff from Back to the Future performing musical haiku. You read that right, butthead.

69: always the right answer in any situation.

Dinosaur Comics Randomizer
Thanks to Driscoll .

This Mother's Day be grateful your parents aren't famous.

Know who we need to render verdict on the rights of former Guantanamo detainees? The Ultimate Fucking Warrior.

Attention Ron Paul Fans: Have We Got a Vacation For You!
Thanks to Johnny Roastbeef.

Every single Adult Swim Star Trek moment

The Many Things Wolverine Is NOT The Best At

The Free Hugs Prank

What your sexual fantasies say about you.

Helicopter’s tail falls the fuck off for no good reason.

Your Insane Wikipedia Page of the Day: Digit ratio: That middle school rumor about finger length may be backed by science


05.05.2009

The most embarrassing pictures of the Hoff, which is saying something considering this is a grown-ass man who calls himself The Hoff.

Your daily feel good video - Massive crowd sings 'Hey Jude' in Trafalgar square

Look At This Fucking Hipster
Thanks to Doctor Shenanigans.

Awesome Watchmen graffiti makes you feel like you wasted my life not doing Watchmen graffiti.

First you feel bad for laughing, then keyboard cat comes along and makes it worse

Rodney Mullen can do impossible things on a skateboarding.
Thanks to Liquorish .

If Kool-Aid Ads Were Awkward

Weird moments even by rock standards.

The chorus from the Die Hard music video will not be leaving your head any time soon
Thanks to Keroman.

The 10 Worst Basketball Scenes in Movies

Abby M is an attractive young lady

That power ranger is the saddest damn thing I've ever seen ...

Dick Cheney, How'd HE Do? Letterman Takes On Cheney For Attacking Obama (VIDEO)

10 Worst Hip Hop Crossovers

Ladies, you horrify us.

Your Insane Wikipedia Page of the Day: Is it possible to walk a completely unbroken path around the world? This guy's going to find out.


05.01.2009

Montana Man Has Better Things To Do Than Serve On Jury Duty

A Terrifying Sequence of YouTube Videos
Thanks to sr3116.

Best 'Sorry, I Hit Your Car' Note Ever

1500+ students descend on University of Kentucky library for flash rave

My cat is a Christian
Thanks to Quagmar .

10 Funniest Adult Swim Cartoons

We're just glad this site wasn't around when we were 12 years-old
Thanks to Disco Stu.

Guns don't kill people, kittens do ... with guns (Flash Game)

Rap Chop: Infomercials are much more entertaining remixed as catchy hip hop tunes

The 10 Funniest Runway Model Wipeouts

British Choir Sings "What's My Age Again?"

The Best in Face-Mask Fashion -- Surviving the Outbreak in Style

Holy Shit! Cincinatti has a real super hero, though he probably could have picked a better name ...

The 10 Most Powerful Sports Agents

Your Insane Wikipedia Page of the Day: Who knew all the most famous prank calls had one source?


04.28.2009

Hillbilly Beatboxing

3600 old VHS covers of movies that probably didn't make the leap to DVD
Thanks to Sanchez.

Street musicians performing "Stand by Me" around the globe (Watch this now if you're having a bad day)
Thanks to Kalli.

Why you shouldn't let quadruple amputees watch Disney sports movies: Quadruple Amputee Kyle Maynard Loses MMA Debut
Thanks to Ninja .

South Park's Finest Celebrity Impersonations

Zombie Hooker Nightmare: A Flash Game

Natasha Q looks very little like the Q from Bond films

101 Hot "Bikini Slave Leia" Photos

Weirdest Season of SNL Ever

Larger Boobs Through Science? Yes we can!

Tony Danza rips on local news, not realizing he's on local news

Snoutbreak '09: The "Daily Show" Mocks The Swine Flu Scare-Off

"Financial Services" To Avoid

Mr Gay Rides Pluto the Lion

Vegetarians Are Harming the Environment

Your Insane Wikipedia Page of the Day: Think you're rude to the missionaries that show up on your doorstep? Operation Auca.

4.24.2009

It's a hot chick doing yoga!
Thanks to ginenbijnoam in the Mirth Canal.

Jimmy Kimmel Tests Terrible Toys On Unsuspecting Children

It's Japanese and called Don't Ram The Boobs. Yes.

Kundun got robbed. KUNDUN GOT ROBBED!

Kanye and T-Pain's apprentice reads the news.

It's no "She Loves My Cock" by Jackyl but we dig it.

Where frat antics and D&D meet: naked wizard tasering (NSFW)
Thanks to LeCompte in the Mirth Canal.

Samurai Toad and other villainous animals.

Where are the fake boobs? Playboys from your father's generation.
Thanks to Ripper in the Mirth Canal.

Matthew McConaughey is an abomination but he stands next to some foxy ladies from time to time.

Cheerleaders in slow motion. You're welcome.

Boner-killing William H. Macy has no business offering sex advice, but he does anyhow.

Great Scott! Back to the Future actually nailed some stuff.

10 potheads that put Cracked readers to shame.

And finally, Your Insane Wikipedia Page of the Day: The Humanzee (or Manpanzee)

4.21.2009

99 Things You Should Have Already Experienced On The Internet Unless You're a Loser or Old or Something
Thanks to sadistic midget in the Mirth Canal.

Your Business Card is Crap

The entire range of human emotion in a few seconds: Slow motion sneezing

The Five Toughest Cities in the World

Legalize 'Shrooms! Or on second thought ...

The YouTube Whore: One of the most interesting species of Internet being.

Of all the Samuel L Jackson movies to come true when Samuel L Jackson isn't around ...
Thanks to Secret Agent in the Mirth Canal.

Guy passes the fuck out on Glenn Beck. Glenn Beck is less than helpful

Are unicorn tattoos a bad idea or an awesome one? After viewing this gallery we're still not sure ...

Quagmire's 10 Horniest Clips

15 Awesomely Giant Things

Hugh Laurie (Dr. House) explains American Slang vs. English Slang

Horrifying stories about losing one’s virginity.

Christian folk duo God's Pottery discovers Segways 10 years after everyone else

10 Things From Your 20s That You’ll Regret When You’re 40

And finally, Your Insane Wikipedia Page of the Day: Incredibly gory death blast rips through four people on a small submarine: Thanks science!

4.14.2009

Is The Happening actually happening?
Thanks to Snake Face in the Mirth Canal.

FoxNews Splits from the US

Sara Ballint Loves That Wallpaper

Because Cracked can't always be around to horrify you, here's some skin growths to look at.

Learning to Play Guitar to Get You Laid: Volume 1.

A Cool Vampire:

Billy Mays orders McDonald's.
Thanks to sr3116 in the Mirth Canal.

Bad drawings of celebrities.

Eels! Eels! Eels!

99 Photos of Fail.

Hot beard growing action.

Promotions that are bad for your health.

The Wolf and The Pig.

Veronika Zemanova!

And finally, Your Insane Wikipedia Page of the Day: More than you ever need to know about Shredder's bumbling henchmen


4.10.2009


Dirty Bird Special: Daily Show Explores STDs & Senior Sex

Spike Jonze will adapt anything

You don't have to be crazy to own a costume shop, but.... oh wait, YES, YES you do

Gentlemen and gentlemen: Natalie Noelle!

Fish make a lot of enemies.

Batman can't get no respect.

What if your social network profile came to life after you logged out?

TMZ reports that Snoop Dogg's wife is dead (she's not), uses clever word play "Deady-Dead" in the headline

Goddamn Snarf

PETA v. Aging Hipsters
Thanks to Ominous Oat in the Mirth Canal.

God's Top Gun of Deliverance takes our breath away.

FoxNews does a timely report on 4Chan.
Thanks to Schroeder in the Mirth Canal.

25 Celebrities if They Were Bald.

"I'm really taking a lichen to this tree."

Stephen Colbert and congressman go through the looking glass.

The dreams of every Star Wars fanboy have been realized.
Thanks to Secret Agent in the Mirth Canal.

A gallery of hot girls in bunny costumes.

And finally, Your Insane Wikipedia Page of the Day: Cultural Depictions of Philadephia


04.07.2009


Disney stopped trying pretty early on.

The Odyssey, as composed in Twitter.

The Cracked writers make retarded Xtranormal videos!
Be sure to check out the the contributions from Nathan Birch and Sanchez.

It's a compendium of America's best political cartoons! And they're all terrible!
Thanks to Lieutenant.

Kim Kardashian is Photoshopped

Brandi Pierce has that girl next door (to Hugh Heffner's neighbor) thing going for her

Scenes from a Japanese dick festival.

If you close your eyes Rachael Ray isn’t so bad…

Know what’s in your sushi?

Colbert: Secular Stormtroopers Wage War On Easter (VIDEO)

The Foot Thong

Truly fuckable Nerf guns.

And finally, Your Insane Wikipedia Page of the Day: The List of the 86 Different Pepsi Types is about 84 Entries Too Long.

04.03.2009


History is full of firsts. We made that observation f1rst, n00b.

While most children shows were conceived on bad acid, this one stars a bald monk on acid interacting with children

Terrifying baby snuggle or "Quaid ... start the reactor. Free Mars!" [

Scroll down for the next article
Forgot Password?