Being a gamer is getting more expensive with every generation, what with all the subscriptions, peripherals, and unsatisfying downloadable content you just have to get (if only to complain about it online). But apparently some gamers decided that the Xbox One's $500 price tag wasn't steep enough and set about finding ridiculous ways to burn more cash on the console, such as ...
#4. People Are Selling and Buying Xbox One Boxes (Just the Boxes)
Those who were patient or unemployed enough to camp out for the Xbox One launch were rewarded with a "Day One" edition that congratulates their patience on the box, plus a mild case of pneumonia. But if your pesky job or family prevented you from lining up, worry not! You can experience the thrill of loitering with a bunch of random strangers in front of Best Buy for 16 hours by simply purchasing a "Day One" box for as little as $100 on eBay!
Hurry up! There's only literally over a million left!
We're all familiar with the old adage "sex sells," and we're accustomed to living in a world where certain products -- such as beer, underwear, and cars -- are inevitably sold with a whiff of sexual innuendo.
But we've gone a little too far, because now we're getting more and more companies trying to use sex appeal to advertise products and services that have basically diddlysquat to do with diddling.
#4. Coffin Company Markets Itself With Boobs
"It's what Grandma would have wanted."
The world of science fiction promised us everything from cancer-detecting capsules to flesh-healing lasers. But as our resources finally met our imagination, the one thing we never counted on was the enduring fact that the human body is, like, really gross.
The result? Jetsons-style gee-whiz technology that was seemingly invented by David Cronenberg. Remember, the following devices may someday save your soon-to-be disgusted existence ...
#4. Robot Asses for Prostate Exam Training
Butt-checking is an important medical procedure that every man over 40 needs to have done annually to detect a very serious medical condition, but that doesn't really make it any less funny. In fact, thanks to technology, it's actually going the other way, humor-wise:
"Bend over, Mr. Babar."
Technology changes at a breakneck pace, but we can get a sneak preview of the future using the magical time portal that is the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office. So what are today's tech giants cooking up for the next generation?
Judging from the following patents, the answer is "a bunch of wacky bullshit bound to make us look less like RoboCop and more like that ghastly Steve Urkel robot from Family Matters."
#4. Sony Dreams of Smart Wigs
Tech companies are really getting into the "wearable computing" trend lately, what with Samsung's smartwatch and Google Glass. But the brain trust at Sony is blazing into tomorrow with their scheme to design smart wigs for elderly gadget aficionados.
"Comes in Kirk or Uhura."