10 Important News Stories as Depicted by 5-Year-Olds
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#10 bunker6
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#9 popeoptimus
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#8 Yuval Bar-On
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#7 The Furlinator
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#6 VanD
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#5 SlimeQ
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#4 AndelleRae
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#3 karaanalunea
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#2 getfreshdesigns
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#1 bunker6
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These aren't actually by kids. A kid couldn't approximate a silhouette of the United States that well. And they wouldn't draw stick figure doggy style. And what's up with the last one? It looks like it's not even trying to look it's made by a 5-year-old. Is that supposed to be like a wink? A "ha ha, this had nothing to do with kids the whole time"?
Reply#5?
Replyhavin' a hard time with 4
ReplySame here.
Dunno if my last comment posted, but guy riding grayhound bus in canada got his head cut off by some crazy dude. "Beheaded"
You can find a lot of large hardon colliders on the internet, if that's really what you're into.
Replywhy is jesus depicted as a lobster?
Reply Hide All See All 3 Repliesfuturama reference
clearly you never watched futurama, go watch it or prepare to get stung by deadly space bee's (yet another reference)
Sweet Zombie Jesus! That show rocks!
How would a 5 year old know what a hard on is?
Reply Hide All See All 5 RepliesIs it an attractive 5 year old?
dr.hhholmes: I don't know whether to like or dislike your comment; I laughed, and then I felt really bad.
Your dick wasn't getting hard when you were five?
So 5 years olds don't know what a hard on is? I must have grown up in a perverted neighborhood. And they're much less likely to know what a hadron is, so your question is moot.
Trolololol @Dr. hhholmes
i didnt get alot of these because i dont understand 5 year old grammar
ReplyIf you frequent the internet, you should be used to it by now. Unfortunately, most of that grammar is from adults. You know what, I don't actually understand most of what English-speaking people on the internet say, either. Too bad for us.
Did anyone else get the futurama reference in 9?
Replyyes yes it dr zoidberg... or a coincidence. either way kinda funny.
i don't get number four. what's with the guy in the bus with a bee for a head?
Reply Hide All See All 3 Repliescolony collapse disorder
hexwork: Ha ha ha no. That's a bee-headed man on a Greyhound. It was big news back then.
^Back when? Maybe it's a reference to something four or five people here would know?
I expected this to be actual news stories not like, someone else is screwing mommy.
ReplyTo a young child, that is important news. I'm pretty sure that's the point.
Well, that was shit.
ReplyThese were all pretty good, but number nine... Jesus is a LIGHTNING CRAB!
ReplyI have a guess that #1 is fake.. the blue jeans have shading for fail's sake, the kid must be talented or something.. maybe i should get a kid to find out if they can actually do that though..Not like i want a kid, i just want to find out what deviations he would create with his life.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesThey're not actually done by five year olds, nimrod.
StewitusP.Johnnyknocker: I must make sure my 5yearold paints a picture of these news, nimrod.
What else is having a kid but finding out what kind of deviation he/she/it can make it his/her/its life?
1 Was Funny, but, what five year old knows what hard-on is?
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesAs answered previously, is it an attractive 5 y/o?
Silly rabbit, read the dates!
Obviously you don't have older brothers.
No.2 was funny, people get over it. Some of us weren't sheltered like others. These were hella funny.
Reply@Kilderok
Cool story Bro :-/
#1 was awful. No 5 year old knows what a hardon is.
Reply Hide All See All 10 Repliesprobably more than know what a hadron is.
I knew by age four. Of course, I DO have a perverted older brother who taught me what dildos were by age 8, and I knew what sex was and how it was performed (thanks to medical books I loved reading) by age five (when I could read, I found "penis" to be hilarious when I learned it was spelled like that.)
Oddly enough, 26 and a virgin (female). NOT going to risk babyhood. At ANY COST.
wow you sound all kinds of fucked up. yes it is strange that you knew what a hard-on was when you were four, and yet for some reason have decided to avoid sex like the plague.
Too bad he never taught you what birth control was, user Kilderok.
I'm guessing Kilderok is a 14 year old boy who had to Google "sex" to make that comment.
Those were my thots about #1 it was kinda funny, but...
...tho I knew about alot of sex stuff, I doubt I knew about hardons
Idk, at least Kilderok didnt turn into a slut, there are too many of those by age 15...2 points
Haha somebody here likes skanky 15 year old girls I guess
@Kilderok
Cool story Bro :-/
Children are quite observant. It is possible a five year old could have overheard or seen something, just like in #2.
Oh noes, gotta protect children from the spectre of anything regarding procreation.
#9. Zoidberg Jesus.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesYes.
I second that yes with a hell yeah.
Now that's a deity i can worship!
Need someone to worship? Why not Zoidberg?
Since when was #2 news? Also 10 should've been 1.
Replycould be divorce rates are up for 2
...I don't know any five year olds so I might be wrong, but I don't think "hardon" is in most 5y.o's vocabulary.
ReplyThat would depend on whether they have older siblings.
Number 9 was the best.
Reply