Technology is how humanity puts its smartest minds into its dumbest hands. Invention short-circuits ideas and intelligence, arming idiots with equipment they can't even spell, let alone operate safely. Tools are how we outran the rest of evolution by getting into a car we'd invented. But it turns out tools are complex, because when you give a tool to a tool the tool-squared ends up negative. We screw up our own plumbing, or invent guns to fit them with bottle openers and nutsacks. Science is our candle in the dark. These are the people using it to light their farts.
When Arthur C. Clarke said sufficiently advanced technology would be indistinguishable from magic, he was talking about nanotechnology. And even he didn't know it yet. Nanotech is rearranging matter at the atomic level, an alchemy of everything, conjuring materials unknown to mere nature, and in the future it'll summon silicon spirits to obey our every whim. Or if you're a petty bureaucrat with all the future-vision of a blind mayfly, you can use it to trick people into pissing on themselves.
Ultra Technologies has been demonstrating their Ultra-Ever Dry coating, which repels oil and water, so anyone trying to piss on a coated wall ends up irrigating their own shoes. People have been cackling over online videos of drunkards pissing against walls and suddenly scampering backwards like they're being made to dance by cowboys with full bladders and incredible aim. San Francisco is now trialling the technology with all the smug smirks you'd expect. They're engineering walls to magically repel urine, and they will act stunned when people just start pissing right onto the street instead. They will be astonished. Their jaws will drop to the floor, and then they'll be the ones comically panicked as this gives them a mouthful of urine.
And then it reflects off their wall back on their shirt.
Piss-soaked streets are disgusting, but unless you're nanoengineering tiny cyber-catheters to sneak up legs and extract urine, people will still need to pee. And if you train them not to pee on the walls instead of putting out more public urinals, they're going to piss right on the sidewalk. But the real piss-taking is how this paint costs over a hundred dollars per square meter.
They don't even wipe with it first.
It would actually be cheaper to wallpaper the streets in dollar bills. It'd also be cheaper to buy the city councillors golden-shower-fetish subscriptions and put out some buckets. Hell, for that money most of the urinators would piss on themselves for you in the privacy of your own home. Still, it's nice to know that San Francisco has obviously solved all its problems with homelessness, income disparity, collapsing schools, crumbling infrastructure, and pretty much everything else if they can afford to spend their city budget on pranking their own population exactly one time each. And then cleaning up even more widely spread urine.
4Lasers Pointing At Jets
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Lasers are illumination in every sense of the word. They're the incarnation of human genius and prove that our brains keep us alive in the same way infants learn to focus their eyes: That's just calibrating a biological tool they'll use to get on with learning the universe.
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"It's your first day at preschool, sweetie, so remember to aim for the Synthoids' servomatrices!"
Unfortunately, some assholes use them to screw up natural selection so hard they risk killing several hundred other people instead of themselves. These idiots have nothing better to do than shine lasers into the cockpits of landing planes. They also need to be treated as terrorists for their terrifying stupidity.
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If only they'd play catch.
They don't understand the tool. They don't understand how much a cheap laser beam spreads over that distance, or how it gets refracted through the cockpit, or how they're working harder to kill a planeload of people than every poor bloke with a beard groped by idiotic security guards for the last decade. Even if they were right about everything they think, which makes this sentence statistically less likely than a random unicorn transmuting into gold, distracting a pilot with a small dot like an extraordinarily highly trained kitten is still potentially fatal.
There should be a Society For The Prevention Of Misuse Of Lasers. And they should be equipped like G.I. Joe but with much better aim, and proper use of lasers will give them both. If people had to understand tools before being able to use them, these assholes would never be able to shine lasers at planes, because they'd be trapped indoors, unable to work their own doorhandles. Then starving to death as they lacked the ability to work the levered jaw in their own stupid faces.